He crossed out 'tyre' in one of my private's textbooks the other day calling it a mistake. He asked me how do you spell it, I told him t-y-r-e but I know you guys go the other way
dopey bollix doesn’t know his arse from his elbow.
I’ve had Taiwanese telling me I’m spelling and saying things wrong, that’s after I toned down my accent about a million fold.
Stoopid people abound…
When I lived in Australia I had some classics. Like the time I asked what time did the only bus go in and out of this country town in the morning
Me: What time does the bus come every day.
Clerk: He comes in around 8 or 9 and leaves around 6.
Me: So your saying he only comes in once and leaves once every day, there’s no other buses. Is there a definite time he comes and leaves
Clerk: ‘Puzzled look’ Nope just once in and out. Maybe he’ll be here at 9 or so. He never tells anyobdy the exact time.
Me: Huh, so where is the bus now?
Clerk: Maybe he’s at home now
Me: What about weekends?
Clerk: The bus doesn’t come saturdays or sundays, well sometimes saturdays…
Me: Wow that’s not a lot
Clerk: I suppose so
ME: Ok, so there’s definitely no other buses
Clerk: no, you want to talk to him now
Me: Well I just want to know what time the bus’s schedule ( Quickly pay for my stuff and leave thinking this town is mighty strange)
Clerk: Ok see ya
See if you figure out what our virtual conversation was about- I only figured it out later that day!!!
Here is another one in a bar in the same town, talk about hicksville meets hicksville
ME: I’d like a pitcher of VB please
Barman: Sorry don’t have any pitchers here
ME: What about a pitcher of Carlton Draught
Barman: I don’t think we have any but I’ll look around
Me: But I saw somebody else with a pitcher
Barman: Yeah??, proceeds to go thru all the cupboards and around the bar looking furiously, asks me ‘Any pitcher will do right?’
Me: I suppose so
Barman: Sees beermats on the bar-offers me a big pile. I’ll see if I can find a pitcher now.
Me: Alright (standing there now with a pile of beermats I never asked for)
Barman: Goes upstairs to ask the bar manager does she have any?— Returns and proceeds to ask all the customers one by one-- Barney do you have a pitcher of beer, Tomo etc etc.
Me: (5 mins later) Ok ok just give me a pint of whatever you got-- I suddenly point after seeing a pitcher on the bar—look there’s one!!
Barman: Pitcher–I got weird requests before but nobody wanted a picture before.
It's Jugo mate, JUGO.
Me: Jugo will do just fine…classic…