Swear to Gawd this is a true story.
Some of you have heard it in person. Don’t give away the ending.
Last Friday, I was on my way home from work, and at the 7-11 I ran into a neighbor I hadn’t seen for a while.
So I grab a tinnie (tall can of Busch, not that it has any bearing) and me and her are standing outside the store, having a smoke and a beer and catching up.
I was pretty near finished my beer and we were getting ready to go our separate wys, I take that last quaff, and THE PULL TAB GOES RIGHT DOWN MY THROAT!!
No shit, I don’t remember even removing it, and I sure didn’t stick it inside.
So I can feel this thing partway down my throat, not my windpipe.
It doesn’t hurt or anything, but it’s pretty unnerving.
So she asks if I need some water or anything, and I’m like, uh, I think I got the opposite problem.
I reckon I could have just swallowed it, but I considered the potential for problems “down the road”, so to speak, prohibitive.
So I’m kind of freaked out, and I go into the back alley and start kacking and hacking, trying to generate a gag reflex, and I’m sticking my fingers down my throat and all, but I’m just making a lot of noise and spit.
Naturally, this granny sticks her head out the window and starts cussing me out in Taiwanese, like “HAKKA BAKKA WAKKA PAKKA” and shit, and I’m all “Boo how eesa, I’m vomiting here”, and I keep going, shit scared that I’m going to have a reflex swallow or summit and down it goes.
Anyway, I finally coughed it up, as it were.
I don’t have any big finish or nothing, so you know it really happened.
Scared the CRAP out of me.
Jesus, you were lucky, chief-o. Had a friend did that years ago and he swallowed it. He got a punctured gut and some unpleasant surgery.
And THAT is exactly why I always recommend tying a spare shoelace to the ring pull.
P.S. Glad you survived your brush with death, the chief.
So hang on, which one was “Death.” the one in the alley or the neighbour?
Glad you’re alive, Chief, as ever.
HG
Geez, well done on getting that out.
I thought you were going to say the Old lady was yelling “Damn foreigners always drinking too much til they puke” or something.
good advice… that’s exactly why I always keep one of these about my person if I’m going drinking…
What no video?! I would have paid good money to have seen that!
Reminder: avoid Death-Beer drinkers. Do not brush.
Damn!
This story has been going around since my High Schull days.
Ain’t nuthin’ new…
Bottle Up & Go!
By the way Chief…glad you’re OK.
You’re lucky I wasn’t there.
I’m dyin’ to perform a scooter-key tracheotomy on some gasping beer choker.
So, BEWARE yourself!
So THAT’s what the goddam hullaballoo was about.
And I thought it was something serious, like the neighbour’s cat having a furball again. (he’s a tiger)
Glad you’re OK. Nothing like wasting beer, but in this case it probably couldn’t be helped.
Yeah, seriously – glad you’re ok, chief! We do occasionally lose someone to choking. I lost a cousin that way. 
Warn’t a beer tab, tho, just food, while eating alone in the house.
All the more reason to shotgun those beers, if you ask me.
[quote=“the chief”]So I grab a tinnie (tall can of Busch, not that it has any bearing) and me and her are standing outside the store, having a smoke and a beer and catching up.
I was pretty near finished my beer and we were getting ready to go our separate wys, I take that last quaff, and THE PULL TAB GOES RIGHT DOWN MY THROAT!!
No shit, I don’t remember even removing it, and I sure didn’t stick it inside.
So I can feel this thing partway down my throat, not my windpipe.
It doesn’t hurt or anything, but it’s pretty unnerving.
So she asks if I need some water or anything, and I’m like, uh, I think I got the opposite problem.
I reckon I could have just swallowed it, but I considered the potential for problems “down the road”, so to speak, prohibitive.
So I’m kind of freaked out, and I go into the back alley and start kacking and hacking, trying to generate a gag reflex, and I’m sticking my fingers down my throat and all, but I’m just making a lot of noise and spit.
Naturally, this granny sticks her head out the window and starts cussing me out in Taiwanese, like “HAKKA BAKKA WAKKA PAKKA” and shit, and I’m all “Boo how eesa, I’m vomiting here”, and I keep going, shit scared that I’m going to have a reflex swallow or summit and down it goes.
Anyway, I finally coughed it up, as it were.
I don’t have any big finish or nothing, so you know it really happened.
Scared the CRAP out of me.[/quote]
You idjit. After 8 years you finally find out that Bush is hard to swallow and causes you to want to vomit. :loco:
And here I thought this was about quaffing about 29 too many stout.
A word to the wise: Always, repeat always remove the pull tabs on canned beer before consumption. The pull tab is the first place where any residue from roaches, dust, industrial grime and the clerks’ grimy fingers will collect and breed all sorts of nasty life-forms.
The OP must have run up against one of those demonically possessed pull tabs. Further incentive to rip off their bloody heads!
A classic case of beer today, gone tomorrow.
The Chief was tough nothing could stop him…beers and bullets just bounce off em.
I heard he was gay.
NOT that there’s anything wrong with that, of course.