Umm, the pretty young lass I’d spent the night with had to get an early morning train back to Hunan and I like to smoke after sex. She also wanted some money but I didn’t have Rmb150 on me. 
Nah, taking my GF’s kid to Shenzhen’s Window on the World. They were finishing breakfast so I ducked out for cigs.
One of these tales is true.
HG
Not so sure they’re mutually exclusive HG… Window on the World? Back in my day a lollypop did the trick.
Oh dear, I can see that now.
Umm, for more clarity, and to stay on topic, let me offer yet another example from that very trip of the yong/bu yao/hand wave xie xie/fuck off nexus.
The preceding night as said GF was settling the kid to sleep, I nipped up to the scenic revolving bar at the top of the Shenzhen Shangri-La. A swank place it is indeed. However, as soon as I’d grabbed a seat to admire the view (outside the glass) I was flanked by two somewhat attractive women who seemed to have little sense of personal space.
That can happen in China, I am after all Australian and the person per km ratio in my home country stacks up rather differently relative to the PRC. But I digress.
After some initial pleasantries, leftie seated lady asked did I want to go back to my room. “But I just got here,” said I, and (so there would be no confusion) I’m here with my girlfriend, she’s in OUR room putting the kid to sleep." “Oh”, replied leftie, “what about getting another room?” “Bu yong” said I (tersely). Following?
Missy on the right, on hearing all of this suddenly piped in with “That’s okay, we can go down and make love in your bathroom. We’ll keep the noise down so as not to wake your girlfriend or the kid. How about it?”
Now I have to admit, at this point I was incapable of a bu yong, bu yao, a hand wave and xie xie and I was not quite up for a full blown “fuck off,” so instead I said, "ni gao shenme fucking feiji?’ (not a direct translation of course, but I think it renders nicely as “what fucking planet are you from?” Oh, and I kept the “fucking” in there because frankly I don’t think Mandarin is quite coarse enough and I also like to raise my standing in others’ eyes in much the same way say, an Oxford don drops French or Latin).
I finished my drink and retired to OUR room where a peacefully sleeping child - despite the little treasure’s eagerness to see Window on China - and my lovely GF were waiting for me . . . and, erh, immediately checked the thickness of the bathroom door . . . for the record, it was very bloody solid indeed. I guess miss right somehow knew that.
Hope it helps.
HG
“No” is a universally understood word, and avoids the all the unnecessary confusion. Just say “No”. Everybody says “bye bye” instead of that Chinese word only foreigners who want to impress say.
It was my impression that most polite people used “bu yong” when refusing an offer such as that of a bag in 7-11. And I’ve had no adverse reactions through doing so. But in response to this thread I asked a couple of friends about it. They agreed that some people did the shake head, wave hand, xiexie thing. But they wouldn’t do it. They didn’t feel it was polite enough. They said that they say “Buyongle, xiexie.” (Or “Xiexie, buyongle.”) They felt that “buyong” on its own was too abrupt and that the “le” softened it in much the same way that you soften “jieguo” with the addition of “yixia”.
So it’s buyongle xiexie for me from now on.
(I didn’t ask my friends about the correct formula for refusing the kinds of solicitations that HGC was talking about. 
)