I now even see a deal being struck:
You let me get my APRC, and I will not turn you in, or in any way get in your way, whatsoever.
Simple.
Call me old-fashioned but I don’t think marriage should be used for residency purposes and I definitely don’t think someone should make threats about turning someone in for adultery when they mutually agreed to separate. I would have zero respect for someone if I found this out. I think people also need to remember that what goes around comes around. She could easily hire a PI and get undeniable proof that the OP was also committing adultery (assuming that he has re-entered the dating world). All of a sudden your APRC is the last thing you have to worry about.
But in the end I think this is a complete bitch move. I don’t think anyone should give advice for someone to act like the psycho xiaojies that we complain about.
[quote=“Abacus”]
But in the end I think this is a complete bitch move. I don’t think anyone should give advice for someone to act like the psycho xiaojies that we complain about.[/quote]
Acting like a psycho xiaojie would be demanding money and trying to get the woman into jail or other sorts of problems regardless of how cooperating she is. The OP is about to lose out on 3.5 years towards an APRC and a downgrade to an employment based ARC (and we all know how so,e employers suddenly fire employees who are about to get an APRC), while the ex gets all she wants. Doesn’t seem like a fair deal to me.
What are 1.5 years anyways? It’s not like the two need to change anything in their daily lives: she lives abroad and he lives in Taiwan. Since for a divorce she would have to come back and with the paperwork involved, it would be another 6 months anyways. At that point the OP would be a mere 12 months away from an APRC then.
There has to be some sort of compromise that works for both parties.
[quote=“hsinhai78”][quote=“Abacus”]
But in the end I think this is a complete bitch move. I don’t think anyone should give advice for someone to act like the psycho xiaojies that we complain about.[/quote]
Acting like a psycho xiaojie would be demanding money and trying to get the woman into jail or other sorts of problems regardless of how cooperating she is. The OP is about to lose out on 3.5 years towards an APRC and a downgrade to an employment based ARC (and we all know how so,e employers suddenly fire employees who are about to get an APRC), while the ex gets all she wants. Doesn’t seem like a fair deal to me.
What are 1.5 years anyways? It’s not like the two need to change anything in their daily lives: she lives abroad and he lives in Taiwan. Since for a divorce she would have to come back and with the paperwork involved, it would be another 6 months anyways. At that point the OP would be a mere 12 months away from an APRC then.
There has to be some sort of compromise that works for both parties.[/quote]
This is not a compromise at all. She has already allowed him to keep his JFRV status for the last 3+ yrs instead of pushing for a divorce. The OP would be getting all that he wants while the ex gets nothing. And the OP doesn’t lose those years towards an APRC. He does downgrade ARC’s but even if he was fired he has 3 months to find a new job and retain his time (served) towards an APRC.
But in the end the marriage is completely over. There is no hope for reconciliation at this point. Not signing the paperwork is a completely selfish motivation.
[quote=“Abacus”][quote=“hsinhai78”][quote=“Abacus”]
But in the end I think this is a complete bitch move. I don’t think anyone should give advice for someone to act like the psycho xiaojies that we complain about.[/quote]
Acting like a psycho xiaojie would be demanding money and trying to get the woman into jail or other sorts of problems regardless of how cooperating she is. The OP is about to lose out on 3.5 years towards an APRC and a downgrade to an employment based ARC (and we all know how so,e employers suddenly fire employees who are about to get an APRC), while the ex gets all she wants. Doesn’t seem like a fair deal to me.
What are 1.5 years anyways? It’s not like the two need to change anything in their daily lives: she lives abroad and he lives in Taiwan. Since for a divorce she would have to come back and with the paperwork involved, it would be another 6 months anyways. At that point the OP would be a mere 12 months away from an APRC then.
There has to be some sort of compromise that works for both parties.[/quote]
This is not a compromise at all. She has already allowed him to keep his JFRV status for the last 3+ yrs instead of pushing for a divorce. The OP would be getting all that he wants while the ex gets nothing. And the OP doesn’t lose those years towards an APRC. He does downgrade ARC’s but even if he was fired he has 3 months to find a new job and retain his time (served) towards an APRC.
But in the end the marriage is completely over. There is no hope for reconciliation at this point. Not signing the paperwork is a completely selfish motivation.[/quote]
It is clear to me that you have not been through a divorce. I stayed in a marriage in order to gain permanent residency, so I could be close to my kids. I directly demanded from the getgo that the marriage was not dissolved until the permanent ARC was in my hand, and well, we got divorced a week later. At that time, we were both in new relationships.
Selfishness is taking off to another country. Note, that the OP gained his status as a right based on his marriage, and I would think that he came here due to same marriage, so he is owed whatever help the soon to be former spouse can give, and this would not be a major problem for her, unless she is preggers. Also, according to the laws of the ROC, a marriage can only be dissolved if both parties agree to it, or a set of very strict conditions are fulfilled.
There is more than meets the eye here, I think. First of all, why is the spouse of the OP so hell bent on getting a divorce now? If she wants to marry somebody else, then fine and good, go ahead, but wait until the current marriage is finished. She seems childish, and it seems that something is being hidden away.
Wonder if her new fiancee knows that there is a hubby brooding on the isle of Formosa?
Secondly, the OP seems grateful for not having a divorce pressed down on him - that is a non-issue, unless he is caught with his dick in somebody elses pants, in which case 6 months of low profile would be in order, for starters, and no dating until marriage is over.
But again, she promised to spend her life with her ex hubby, and if she wants out, the least she can do is to do so at a time where everybody is in agreement, unless her trust is betrayed by the OP one way or another.
This is almost comical. If the situation was reversed the analysis would be completely reversed.
I also think that everyone needs to stop acting like he is losing any time he has accrued towards an APRC. Yes, he could lose his job. It does happen but he has a month until his ARC is canceled and he has another 3 months until he loses his APRC status.
[quote=“Abacus”]This is almost comical. If the situation was reversed the analysis would be completely reversed.
I also think that everyone needs to stop acting like he is losing any time he has accrued towards an APRC. Yes, he could lose his job. It does happen but he has a month until his ARC is canceled and he has another 3 months until he loses his APRC status.[/quote]
I beg to differ.
If the situation was the opposite, I would ask the OP to sit down with her soon to be ex hubby, and see what could be done in order to expedite things. If the other party asked to get another 18 months, so he could get his residency sorted, and refused a divorce otherwise, I would get an agreement down based on that, and start popping babies for the new guy - overseas that is, in the knowledge that I was safe.
The reverse situation is a Taiwanese woman demanding money, denying any parental rights to the father and trying to get the foreign (ex-) husband kicked out of Taiwan by all means possible, i.e. false allegations of rape or assault.
I think waiting 1.5 years and then going for a clean consensual divorce is a solution both could live with. Unless of course the wife is pregnant already and didn’t tell her new lover about her unfinished business in Taiwan. But that is her problem and her problem alone. She entered into a relationship despite her marriage not being over in the eyes of the law.
The reverse situation is a Taiwanese woman demanding money, denying any parental rights to the father and trying to get the foreign (ex-) husband kicked out of Taiwan by all means possible, i.e. false allegations of rape or assault.
I think waiting 1.5 years and then going for a clean consensual divorce is a solution both could live with. Unless of course the wife is pregnant already and didn’t tell her new lover about her unfinished business in Taiwan. But that is her problem and her problem alone. She entered into a relationship despite her marriage not being over in the eyes of the law.[/quote]
This is not the reverse situation. The reverse situation is a guy that is separated from his wife for the last 3 years and she has been living in the US solely based on their marriage. After awhile I think it would be understandable to formally file for divorce since both have moved on with their lives. In this situation it would be highly likely that the woman would love her visa status with very little chance of retaining it. In the OP’s case it is very likely that he will be able to retain his current job for 1.5 yrs and if not it is still very likely that he would be able to find a new job within the 3 months (plus one more for notice before ARC is canceled) before the APRC clock resets.
The reverse situation is a Taiwanese woman demanding money, denying any parental rights to the father and trying to get the foreign (ex-) husband kicked out of Taiwan by all means possible, i.e. false allegations of rape or assault.
I think waiting 1.5 years and then going for a clean consensual divorce is a solution both could live with. Unless of course the wife is pregnant already and didn’t tell her new lover about her unfinished business in Taiwan. But that is her problem and her problem alone. She entered into a relationship despite her marriage not being over in the eyes of the law.[/quote]
This is not the reverse situation. The reverse situation is a guy that is separated from his wife for the last 3 years and she has been living in the US solely based on their marriage. After awhile I think it would be understandable to formally file for divorce since both have moved on with their lives. In this situation it would be highly likely that the woman would love her visa status with very little chance of retaining it. In the OP’s case it is very likely that he will be able to retain his current job for 1.5 yrs and if not it is still very likely that he would be able to find a new job within the 3 months (plus one more for notice before ARC is canceled) before the APRC clock resets.[/quote]
The law of the land is the law of the land. And here, they are a bit more restrictive on divorce than say in the US, so the no fault divorce only exists if both parties agree on it.
[quote=“Mr He”]
The law of the land is the law of the land. And here, they are a bit more restrictive on divorce than say in the US, so the no fault divorce only exists if both parties agree on it.[/quote]
At no time did I say that it wasn’t in his legal right to delay the divorce forever. This is about what doing the right thing. After not attempting to reconcile for 3+ years it’s time to end this marriage. All you are doing is adamantly insisting that he take advantage of a questionable law to retain his JFRV. It’s great that your ex-wife agreed upon delaying divorce paperwork but I believe that it is incredibly selfish to wait until it is convenient for the OP. And this isn’t even a case where he would be kicked out of the country or lose his time earned towards an APRC. Perhaps he could lose his job but it’s not that hard to find a new job in 3-4 months.
It does need to be verified that JFRV time can be combined with work ARC time though. They relaxed the restrictions last year so it shouldn’t be an issue.
Sorry guys, slightly off the main topic, but I noticed someone here say that you can have a 3 month gap between ARC’s and still be eligible for APRC. Is this true? Oh please let it be true.