Chat function etiquette

I’d like to draft a set of rules for general use around the chat function which exists at certain sites. My main beefs are with gmail and facebook chat, or rather, my beef is with the behaviour of some people over the use of the chat function. Of course, they can be disabled, and in the case of gmail certain individuals can be blocked. But I don’t want to be blocking, I want a global standard of chat etiquette to exist, so that I can politely point people towards certain rules if I feel they are overstepping the mark.

  1. The one minute log in rule. This one is just common decency. I often go to gmail just to check my mail, not to get sucked into 5 conversations about the vagaries of life. Sometimes my computer hasn’t finished downloading the page details and there are 3 ‘Hello’ boxes staringly blankly at me. I don’t want to disable chat, or even block individuals, I just may not have the time/ inclination to chat.

  2. “I have gone away from the screen.” There needs to be a rule/ code or something to say when this is occuring. INATS (im not at the screen) would be a good one. You finally allow yourself to listen to the story of the cheese that your chat buddy paid over the odds for, you ask a question and then sit there like a plum for ten minutes. Suddenly they reply with “Yes. Sorry, went to loo.” Snakes and b*stards, you force me into a convo then you sneak off for a turd and don’t mention it? Get real!

  3. The ‘convo kill’ button. Where is this button? I want like a giant gong that rings on the other person’s computer to say “You had 2 minutes and frankly I want to move on.” At the moment I usually end a convo by saying that I need the loo. (Sorry to those who read this and think “He used that one on me last week!”) On the phone you can use tone to indicate the winding up of the convo, it isn’t so easy to perceive in a chat box. You need a phrase that ends the convo within 3 moves (sentences). On the phone there is the classic “ok, well, I’ll let you go,” shifting emphasis onto the caller and making them think they are important. You can’t do that on computer chat though, because they person was already sat there in the first place. They could argue that YOU popped up on THEIR radar and reply with the dreaded, “That’s ok, I wasn’t doing much anyway.”

  4. Have something to say. Yes, I love you and you are great, but ‘Hi,’ is not a conversation, it is the short form of “I am bored. Entertain me.”

  5. The drag back. You have finally killed the convo and are seconds from getting back to looking at porn or sports results and the old drag back occurs. “Hey, did you see that person who attacked the pope?” DRAGGED BACK into the covo like Tony Montana at a drug convention. This is unacceptable chat etiquette.

Ok, so I have 5 rules so far. 1) The 1 minute log in rule. 2) Say when you leave the computer for 5 mins. 3) Have an agreed upon kill button so that you can back out of the convo within say 3 sentences. 4) Have something to say. 5) No drag backs.

What others need to go onto the list?

I happy you no my Facebook Friend. You make problem for nice girl want to be friend with you. I ignoring you now.

JemmaPresley

TomHill -

Ironic (funny) you should make this observation - and I probably agree completely with you - in that the only gmail “chat” that has ever been initiated with me has been from…
You
:smiley:

And I did not mind a bit once I figured out what the hell was happening and how to do it.
(sounds like something jimipresseley would be writing)

You must be a super-popular guy…you lucky dude you.

Why The Cowboy not wanting the chatting with nice girl JemmaPresley? Can we being the Special Facebook Friend?

I know that I am guilty of this in our dealings Tom, but only because I seek your counsel on many issues. You are like a mixture of Gandalf,Merlin and Johnny Ball all in one.

'Scuse me while I adjust my ‘sony big screen’ little lady… :howyoudoin:

I have two ‘close to suicide every day’ and two ‘close to divorce’ cases that jump on me before your brain could think about sending electricity down to move your fingers young funker. You are absoluletly snail paced in comparison.
:wink:

Lordylord, I have a couple too! One, I have the exact same convo in Chinese with every time, the other wishes to update me on his 12-step process and doesn’t realise it’s all about ME. There’s usually one from my mum that arrived when I was offline because she doesn’t know the difference between Chat and email.

My sister is the best at this, btw. She simply says ‘I’m going now because I’m bored and I need a poo before the A-Team starts.’

I only like to speaking at the Funk500 on the chat room. He is good for the listening.

JemmaPresley

[quote=“Buttercup”]Lordylord, I have a couple too! One, I have the exact same convo in Chinese with every time, the other wishes to update me on his 12-step process and doesn’t realise it’s all about ME. There’s usually one from my mum that arrived when I was offline because she doesn’t know the difference between Chat and email.

My sister is the best at this, btw. She simply says ‘I’m going now because [color=#FF0080]I’m bored and I need a poo before the A-Team starts[/color].’[/quote]

IBA NAP BATS. That is the new international code for ‘I’m bored with this, no offence, but I’d rather do something else now.’

She is chronically uninterested in lying, or any of the social graces.

Etiquette? How very optimistic.

I simply block everyone. Except, except, except, except, a select few whose conversation is like valuable currency. On Facebook I have a friend list called, ‘Avoiding people’. The majority of my friends are in it and it’s permanently offline.

Occasionally, a newly added friend slips under the radar: “Hey!” In such situations I employ ‘jovial banter’ for a couple of minutes until tapping out one of the following excuses to end the chat:

  1. My girlfriend/friend/housemate has just arrived. We’re going out to eat/drink/catch a movie/do some gardening/go sandboarding/make furniture/take a pottery course etc etc

  2. My landlord is fiddling around with the network . . . (offline).

  3. My Mother is telling me I need to take a shower (a perfectly legit excuse in Taiwan, until about 46 or so). Of course, being a furriner, my mother tells me this by Sky-pee.

  4. Garbage truck! . . .

:ponder: I think that’s about it.

So always you Telling Jemma the garbage truck come, you LYING, Mr thelonliest! :cry: You very herting me. I going to ignoring and unfriend you on my Facebook Special Friend.

Glad to see you still get enjoyment from your, ‘Krusty the Clown teaches you racist accent humour,’ annual.

[quote=“TomHill”]

Glad to see you still get enjoyment from your, ‘Krusty the Clown teaches you racist accent humour,’ annual.[/quote]
Actually, that’s how virtually all of the chat messages that I get sound. And that’s from South Africans, Brits and North Americans. Perhaps I have the wrong facebook friends. :ponder:

Tom

I can’t believe YOU of all people instigated this topic - you are a NIGHTMARE on chat.

Tomhill offences include
Asking me if I got a job while my boss was stood behind me
Asking how my girlfriend is with my wife stood behind me
and telling me all about the pooh he just had while I am eating my breakfast

I wish i knew HOW to block you mate!

Seriously my one rule would be to start with something like - “is it ok to talk about that think we talked about the other day?” or “is it ok to talk about lucy?”, or “is it ok to talk about your job?” or just a simple - “are you alone or is some nosey fucker looking over your sodding shoulder?”

ayaoisnfloyss?

:slight_smile:

Nuff said?

[quote=“Edgar Allen”]
Asking me if I got a job while my boss was stood behind me
Asking how my girlfriend is with my wife stood behind me
and telling me all about the pooh he just had while I am eating my breakfast[/quote]

You and I never converse during your breakfast, mr time delay! Plus, if they don’t pay you, he is not your boss, and finally, when did you buy yourself a girlfriend?