I’d say that any and all of those things may be reason to move on (none are good), and that looking for someone who never does any of them is asking to never settle down. Doesn’t mean that such behaviour is acceptable, but that it may arise and have to be dealt with.
I dunno. Just a manifestation of my theory that we’re all bastards, capable of drawing closer to our better natures, but more likely to do so with the love and support of others (just like ourselves). Respect for others, and for one’s promises are basic first steps in moving away from being a willful little bastard, but ones that may be stumbled over. Stumble enough, and you deserve to get the boot. Question is, what’s enough? Maybe once, but that doesn’t leave much room for we poor, flawed bastards. But maybe once is the best answer, I dunno.
I think HGC’s experience is representative of most people: surprised to find how easy it is to slip once, but quick to learn from the experience, and the better and stronger for it afterwards.
Again, not ideal, but I’m not Pygmalion, not interested in waiting for an ideal to spring to life. That said, the “pygmalion effect”–rising to met expectations–is a good one; it doesn’t leave us perfect, but maybe good enough.
I think there are some people who have unconditional love for their partner. (I’m not claiming to be one.) The fact that their partner cheated on them doesn’t change their love.
I don’t think people who are willing to stay with a partner who cheated on them are necessarily being suckers. In some cases they are showing what true love really is. They are willing to put up with a terrible flaw and help their partner grow beyond it.
Most people who stay with a partner who cheats do that for security. Some others do it because they really like the person so much that they still want them, despite the pain.
Anyone in a relationship who cheats on his/her lover is definetly unforgivable. S/he doesn’t respect this relationship and allow himself/herself to love someone else during this relationship…This kind of person should be called asshole! It’s about responsibility as well. You respect yourself and your lover, that’s why you have right to enjoy this relationship. Otherwise, you have no right to love.
I met a guy like that before. He chased me while he had a relashionship with my friend whom I introduced to him. That’s terrible. And the point is that he didn’t think it’s wrong or a big deal. That’s stupid and disgusting!
I can forgive anything but an afair. It’s not worthy of the forgiveness. That’s my thought.
[quote=“humor”][quote=“puiwaihin”]The fact that their partner cheated on them doesn’t change their love.
[/quote]
I have to say that this kind of people is really blind. Love is blind, but you gotta see what kind of people worth you to be blind for.[/quote]
I would never be blind enough to feel accepted as “second rate” after my GF f****** another guy. Affair or 1night stand. Game over, even if it hurts as hell.
[quote=“humor”]Anyone in a relationship who cheats on his/her lover is definetly unforgivable. S/he doesn’t respect this relationship and allow himself/herself to love someone else during this relationship…This kind of person should be called asshole! It’s about responsibility as well. You respect yourself and your lover, that’s why you have right to enjoy this relationship. Otherwise, you have no right to love.[/quote] TIMEOUT, you get some time on the bench. :raspberry: Everyone has a right to love. But humor must have a god complex or a crystal ball or something
[quote]I met a guy like that before. He chased me while he had a relashionship with my friend whom I introduced to him. That’s terrible. And the point is that he didn’t think it’s wrong or a big deal. That’s stupid and disgusting!
I can forgive anything but an afair. It’s not worthy of the forgiveness. That’s my thought.[/quote]
Unfortunately,that’s all I have chase me-men who are attached. But i don’t judge them for their decision. If they wanna chase me then so be it. I hope they have on Nikes, because the minute they tell me that there’re attached, I haul ass.
I have to say that this kind of people is really blind. Love is blind, but you gotta see what kind of people worth you to be blind for.[/quote]
I disagree. I don’t think what I’m talking about is blind love at all.
The term “love is blind” really means that you fail to see the faults of another person because of your love or infatuation with that person. A person blinded by love ignores evidence that a person is cheating. They don’t recognize that they are being mistreated.
But some people can know for a fact that they are being cheated on and still accept the relationship. And they can do it not because they feel they are “second-class”, but because their love for others is first-class. I think people who don’t understand that kind of love don’t really know what love is all about.
Cheaters deserve every negative consequence that comes from their actions. But people who love without failing, even in the face of betrayal, they deserve to be extolled rather than criticized.
Are you sure they had a steady relationship? Not all people who date choose to have an exclusive relationship. Personally, I think it’s healthy to date multiple people and for it to be pefectly fine for people to do that.
A date does not automatically mean you are exclusive. So many people get caught up in doomed relationships because of premature exclusivity. So many people end up cheating because of this as well.
I think people should wait and be sure they are really serious before they start seeing only each other.
I think murder or assault should rate higher on the list of things not to forgive.
Yes I’m sure. Due to that girl lives in South Taiwan. He thought it’s too far for him to see her all the time. So he asked me if I can take him as his gf while he’s in Taipei and he can go to see his other gf sometimes. I think it’s a really selfish desire. He just wants someone is alwasy with him. And he doesnt relaly care whom that “someone” is.
To me, love, dating are the same thing. It doesnt mean I can fall in love with someone I just date with. I mean I’m serious with each of my date. And one guy a time. As long as I have some feeling or flirtatious relationship with Mr. A, I won’t date Mr. B or anyone else. I take the one I’m dating with seriously, and so my feeling. If I take in many different guys a time, I can’t see clearly, and It seems like I’m ready to end up with every of them anytime. That’s “easy come, easy go” is not serious enough for me. I rather spend more time on a guy, during this time, we belong to each other only. It’s me.
Yes I’m sure. Cause that girl lives in southern Taiwan. He thought it’s too far for him to see her all the time. So he asked me if I can take him as his gf while he’s in Taipei and he can go to see his other gf sometimes. I think it’s a really selfish desire. He just wants someone is alwasy with him. And he doesnt relaly care whom that “someone” is.
For me, love, dating are the same thing. It doesnt mean I can fall in love with someone I just date with. I mean I’m serious with each of my date. And one guy a time. As long as I have some feeling or flirtatious relationship with Mr. A, I won’t date Mr. B or anyone else. I take the one I’m dating with seriously, and so my feeling. If I take in many different guys a time, I can’t see clearly, and It seems like I’m ready to end up with every of them anytime. That’s “easy come, easy go” is not serious enough for me. I rather spend more time on a guy, during this time, we belong to each other only. It’s me.
A friend of mine has a relationship with a guy for a year and a half. (both are Taiwanese) They love each other. Once she met an American who was just greeted her as a passerby, and they became friends. It’s been for months, he’s never giving up to chase her even she told him that she loved her bf only. That guy trid to tell her that “You take me as your friend, and I take you as my gf. Because I love you, I respect you to love someone else.” For her, at the begining, it’s kinda nonsense. But a while later, she took it for granted, she said “whatever he thinks, I love my bf.” Few weeks ago, that foreigner took her to some night club and drove her to a mountain as usual. He had sex with her while she was drunk badly. She’s shocked but couldn’t help after that. I didn’t ask her too far, all I know is they are still friends (I don’t know if they are “just friends”), and she still with her bf. And of course, she didn’t tell him what happened that night.
So in this “cheating and forgiveness” subject, what do you think from this story?
[quote=“humor”]A friend of mine has a relationship with a guy for a year and a half. (both are Taiwanese) They love each other. Once she met an American who was just greeted her as a passerby, and they became friends. It’s been for months, he’s never giving up to chase her even she told him that she loved her bf only. That guy trid to tell her that “You take me as your friend, and I take you as my gf. Because I love you, I respect you to love someone else.” For her, at the begining, it’s kinda nonsense. But a while later, she took it for granted, she said “whatever he thinks, I love my bf.” Few weeks ago, that foreigner took her to some night club and drove her to a mountain as usual. He had sex with her while she was drunk badly. She’s shocked but couldn’t help after that. I didn’t ask her too far, all I know is they are still friends (I don’t know if they are “just friends”), and she still with her bf. And of course, she didn’t tell him what happened that night.
So in this “cheating and forgiveness” subject, what do you think from this story?[/quote]
First of all, I would like to PUNCH the foreigner in his face not respecting his"friend" choice ONLY loving her local BF. No excuse for taking advantage of a drunk girl. BAD ! Thinking with his dick is shamefull. He got what he wanted, but what is “love” involved in this? Not a FUCKING thing I guess.
As for her, would you ever think that she would tell her BF?
Becoming the disgrace among her friends and being called a foreigners slut? She opened a small door, and now she regrets for sure.
Damned, if I would be her BF, I would not have the understanding to forgive her. Even if she did something like that under influence.
[quote=“humor”]Few weeks ago, that foreigner took her to some night club and drove her to a mountain as usual. He had sex with her while she was drunk badly. She’s shocked but couldn’t help after that. I didn’t ask her too far, all I know is they are still friends (I don’t know if they are “just friends”), and she still with her bf. And of course, she didn’t tell him what happened that night.
So in this “cheating and forgiveness” subject, what do you think from this story?[/quote]
Umm, sounds like she didn’t give her consent to have sex, therefore it would be rape. Advise her so.
Huh? Those were your words, right? Steady ceevee369, steady.
HG[/quote]
Why should I. You are certainly a person who knows how Taiwanese society inteprets such a things.
A) If she lies and says that she does love this foreign guy, she lies to herself and aoids loosing face a litle.
B) If she admits it was a 1 night stand,(with sex under influence) with a foreigner, but still loving her local BF, she looses face more…
Namahottie is offering a good direction, but the girl will never have the balls to do such a thing. Cause she will be called as such as I mentionned.
And by the way, my GF is Taiwanese and had many many guys around her before, but never ended up in this desperate situation…
I feel fucking sorry for the girl.
I dunno… but I suppose she’s old enough to go out to a club with a guy she knows has the hots for her while her real boyfriend is elsewhere, and she’s old enough to get stinking drunk with this foreign guy.
If the foreign guy did indeed take advantage of her, he is an ass, and worse.
But, she demonstrated remarkably poor judgment, IMO, and if I were her real boyfriend, I might find this entire episode difficult to understand.
[quote=“Tigerman”][
Nonetheless, I wouldn’t call her a “slut”.[/quote]
Me neither, the poor thing, but some will if they find out about this.
Imagine she tells the story to her olds school parents?
And calling the guy an ass is even very polite. He’s a prick and should feel very very small after taking advantage of a drunk person.
How do we know he took advantage of this poor drunken damsel? I say she was gagging for it from the outset. The foreign bloke saw it in her lascivious smile and took a punt. She didn’t knock him back and then, after her inhibitions were lowered with a few winkie pops, so were her knickers. Well spotted by the foreign hunter!
Looks like there were a few dry runs. But in any case, what was she up for driving to the mountains with this foreign devil? The view?
Looks to me like she’s having an each way bet the little tart.
A prick? You’ve never shagged a woman after a few bevvies?
This evil little fox fairy has deflowered and slandered one of our own and all we can do is fret over her precious dignity? Bah! Burn her to the stake I say! Or alternatively give me her number.
