It’s really good to have your input and I really appreciate the time you spent for your detailed response. It’s good to have an opinion from a medical professional and to look at things from a different perspective. It’s definitely given me something to think about. I would just like to offer some clarifications on some of the points your discussed :
This is a good point and something I didn’t consider, maybe because it wasn’t communicated to me (even till now). But if they did do this on purpose to save the baby then I would absolutely not hold anything against them. The reason why I tend to believe the clavicle wasn’t broken on purpose is because neither the doctor nor the delivery nurse knew about it until days later (after the x-ray was performed). & Since the hip dislocation was only found today, I guess they don’t even know about it till now.
I agree that time is of the essence. Honestly, I have no idea how long is safe or unsafe to be in labor. All I know is from the moment we entered the OT, it took a total of 10 to 15 minutes only. After the birth the OBYGYN doctor said to me if he hadn’t pushed on her stomach as hard as he did, it would have taken 5 or 6 hours normally, especially because this was my wife’s first pregnancy and she wasn’t experienced in pushing. He remarked that he saved a lot of time for us.
I am doing this mainly for #1, to find out the truth. The truth does matter because me and my family will suffer not knowing it. It didn’t help when I asked the OBYGYN doctor few days ago about why the clavicle was fractured, and he answered, “I don’t know why. I thought it went very smoothly”. He repeated this more than once, like he genuinely didn’t expect this. Which tells me he is probably innocent in all this and it really is the nurse.
As for #2, I have nothing to gain from proving the doctor is incompetent. Even though I am upset with the outcome, I am not directly blaming him. He is the top doctor in this field in the hospital and we went to him on recommendation from many other people. Even still, I hold no ill will against him. I know I may have used the term doctor/hospital/nurse interchangeably in my posts here, but I want to clarify now that I am mainly targeting the medical staff, specifically the nurse who pulled the baby. The OBYGYN doctor never even touched the baby. He was just standing over my wife the whole time pushing on her belly, so it’s fair to assume he didn’t cause the injury.
As for #3, I don’t care about money. & I don’t specifically want headache for the OBYGYN doctor but I do want the person responsible to have sleepless nights, just like we are having right now. It’s only fair. It’s not about revenge, it’s about justice.
I absolutely don’t hate the OBYGYN doctor. I believe the nurse was negligent, but of course, I am not 100% sure and I have no way to prove it. I don’t know who else was negligent afterwards when they missed the dislocated hips too.
If it were possible to go through with this without causing headache to the OBYGYN doctor, then I would be okay with that. But I don’t know if it’s possible to sue the nurse alone. I think the OBYGYN doctor will be pulled in either-way, unfortunately.
If they even did just that, I would still drop the case. Even if they didn’t admit wrong-doing, nor apologized, but if things got to this point for them to have a meeting/review and express “regret”, then that would be enough. Because then I can expect that internally they might investigate it and if they do find some negligence on part of the nurse/hospital, then at least they will take some corrective action (even if I will never know about it), which in turn may be helpful to some future parents. That alone would be worth it for me. [Also , this would give us some closure]
Deep down I believe that most hospitals and doctors in Taiwan want to do good. They want to improve people’s health, help patients. This experience hasn’t changed my overall view of Taiwan or Taiwanese people. Having known Taiwan and Taiwanese people for the past 5 years, that’s what I have grown to expect of them; to do the right thing, whenever an issue like this is found (even if they don’t admit it).
Thank you, that’s the best advice and it’s what I am counting on.