It’s not a bad thing but there is a huge difference between filial piety and being subservient to the point that the parents are controlling their children’s lives (who they should marry, how many kids they should have, etc).[/quote]
QFT.
I had the experience of dating someone from Taiwan that when it was time to meet the mother (the mother that the daughter kept the dating secret from), the mother didn’t like her daughter dating a foreigner and it was off.
Next thing I knew, 6 months later, she was married to a man almost twice her age to a man that knew the family for a long time.
People like this have no sense of self worth, only ready to bow down to whomever is higher than them, whether in relationships, at the workplace, and with their family. Filial Piety to an extreme is unhealthy and I think crystaleye has some good points. I’m all for respect for family, but not to the point where they can take over your life, which seems to be a societal norm in Taiwan.[/quote]
if your woman friend had to listen to her family to that extent, then I am pretty sure you are much better off not wasting any more time with such an insecure woman…
i once dated a fairly good-looking Shanghainese girl in sydney… rating of 8/9 maybe and skin as white as snow… brought her to a upper-class sushi restaurant in the city on the first date and guess what she told me? on our bloody first date?..
“i only marry men who earn a certain level of income and if you don’t earn that much, forget about dating me in the future cos I don’t wanna waste my time as my mother would never allow me to marry a poor man…”
HA! Mind you, this bloody “listen to mommy and daddy” attitude extends to all chinese everywhere and not just to the mainlanders… plenty of such subservient behavior among the taiwanese as well… just do a search in the dating and relationships folder…
forumosa.com/taiwan/viewtopi … 2&t=109135
this is why I think I would never even give the time of the day to a chinese woman from now on… and i include taiwan and hk in this broad category of “chinese women” cos they are from the same “mommy-and-daddy’s girls” breed…[/quote]
Yes, these are extreme examples, I have felt them and have complained about them before but I don’t feel they are in anyway the norm. I think the vast majority of people I meet have a good respect for their parents and their parents are not too demanding. Perhaps I see them talking on the phone quite often with their parents, but for the most part I see the children making the majority of their own decisions.
I do agree that Asian parents tend to take care of their children until higher ages (22 to 23), but I don’t see this as a negative. People at this age still need a lot of guidance. Hell, I need a lot of guidance.