China Confirms Test of Anti-Satellite Weapon

The following is printed in full with comment and translation when necessitated by Chinese verbosity and logic:

Of course not, as using a weapon in space simply means one HAS the weapons. It’s a purely DEFENSIVE thing.

“What? Did we do what? is there any way to prove that we did something? There is? Well have you proven anything? Oh, that we fired a weapon and destroyed a satellite? Oh that?! Yeah, we did do that. How did you guys find out?”

[quote]Despite numerous press reports last week that quoted Bush administration officials describing the exercise in detail, Chinese officials had declined to confirm or deny whether it had occurred. Liu Jianchao, the foreign ministry spokesman, issued the first official comment on the matter today.
[/quote]

The enormous and convoluted clusterfuck that is the Chinese Communist Gov’ment require a week to ten days to remove their collective heads from their collective asses.

“But it COULD be.”

“Look, we had this thing sitting around and some of our boys, you know, the ones out there in the desert, well they get bored, and they thought, ‘Sheet, let’s shoot down that satellite. It’s ours, inn’t?’”

“‘Do we contradict ourselves? Fine then we contradict ourselves. We are large. We contain multitudes.’ That’s Walt Whitman. Fits doesn’t it?”

However, the hair on the back of the neck of the Pentagon bulding stood up like Bill Clinton on pizza day.

US aids were rolling in the aisles at the fact that some knob in China shot down a friggin satellite without Presdient Hu even aware of it. “Bwahahahahah,” one source was quoted saying.

“We on OUR time!”

“Don’t ask, don’t tell. Isn’t that what you guys do?”

This must be the Tawian Doctrine.

“By the way Sir…”

And then he returned to Taiwan to look after his bitches.

Sharks were not reportedly used.

QUIET! You fools!

Something tells me they’re less afaid now.

[quote]But others say China’s intentions in conducting this test may have been more diplomatic in nature, designed to pressure the United States to negotiate a treaty to ban weapons in space.

Russia and China have pressed for the international treaty that would limit the use of space for military purposes. The Bush administration has declined to participate in such talks.

Over the summer, President Bush authorized a new space policy that seeks to preserve “freedom of action” in space, and he said that the United States reserves the right to use force against countries that seek to disrupt American satellites.
[/quote]
The US now may feel free to blow up their our satellites.

[quote]Xu Guangyu, a former Chinese army officer and an official at the government-run China Arms Control and Disarmament Association, said the anti-satellite test amounted to an attempt to redefine the “rules of the game” and bring the United States to the negotiating table.

“What China is saying is, “let’s sit down and talk,”” Mr. Xu said. “There is a trend toward weaponization of space that no one, especially China, wants to see.”
[/quote]
“And THAT’s why we built a weapon and showed you that we know how to use it.”[quote]
He criticized the Bush administration for declining to join international negotiations on the issue. He said the United States and the former Soviet Union first used anti-satellite weapons in the 1980s, and that China was not doing anything new.

“It is purely catch up,” he said. “Our policy of using space for peaceful purposes absolutely has not changed.”[/quote]
“Mei yo gwan xi! Bu yong pa!”

“And open a take out place on the Dark Side…”
nytimes.com/2007/01/23/world … 9614800&en
=d9317a9a60f6aebb&ei=5094&partner=homepage

A shot across the bow? [quote=“NYT”]But others say China’s intentions in conducting this test may have been more diplomatic in nature, designed to pressure the United States to negotiate a treaty to ban weapons in space.

Russia and China have pressed for the international treaty that would limit the use of space for military purposes. The Bush administration has declined to participate in such talks.

Over the summer, President Bush authorized a new space policy that seeks to preserve “freedom of action” in space, and he said that the United States reserves the right to use force against countries that seek to disrupt American satellites.[/quote]
Another plank in the Project for a New American Century’s platform proves at least half rotten: strategic lock in.