Some of us actually like our inlaws, believe it or not!
I even like to spend time with them - without being forced!
I actually visit them on my own once in a while!!!
And so what?
You guys are pretty lucky my g/f of two plus years barely acknowledges I exist. Her grandma likes me although she can’t speak English or Chinese. I’ll be slumming it in Taipei by myself…
Chinese New Year with the inlaws?
Not likely! 
Listen up folks, if you visit them often enough throughout the rest of the year, give a nice thick red envelope, and explain to them (politely) that it’s your vacation time, trust me, your absence will not be missed!
I’m packing my camping and scuba gear as I write and heading south…
Not only will they understand, but your spouse (over some time) will thank you for it. My wife would far rather be sitting in a chair looking over the ocean than dealing with all the Chinese New Year stresses.
Back in two weeks…Suckers!
I’m looking forward to this one. It’ll be Tiffani’s first CNY and I expect her to get plenty of hongies that dad can then spend on piss . My inlaws are great. Food isn’t bad and I can generally command the remote control as I quietly put away Qingdao’s with the brother, brothers in law and mum. I’m with Bassman on the Taiwanese thing, but at least when they talk to me they switch back to Mandarin. I must be one of the lucky ones who doesn’t need to travel, unless you call Yungho to Jungho travelling. Looking forward to it.
Spack said :
We swore last year we weren’t going back for another CNY at my inlaws, but it looks like we’re going up again. Taoyuan!
This time though we are just showing our faces.
The plan is to turn up late just in time for the hotpot, go to bed early (“Not in my Mom’s bed - they’ll hear!” - oh well), and then head off to Taipei first thing in the morning, have a look around prior to scurrying back to Taichung (Taizhong) before Blockbuster closes. Phew!
There is nothing pathetic about visiting relatives. What is pathetic is the number of men who no longer own a pair between their legs. Take a look at your household registeration. Your wife no longer belongs (their words not mine) to her father’s family. According to their tradition she is part of yours. So start making the decisions in your family - stand up - be a real man - maybe you will get some respect from your inlaws for not acting like a little bitch.
Don’t treat Chinese New Year w/ contempt. Its not your holiday, its theirs. I show up and head straight to the kitchen. Chicken’s feet and pig’s blood are for poor inbred rednecks (doesn’t matter what country you’re from). I’m in there side-by-side with the women folk except I prepare a traditional Italian meal. The relatives love it and I have gained more “face” through my cooking than by speaking either Taiwanese or Mandarine.
You don’t like XO? Neither do I. Thats why I bought a friggin’ coffee maker and a metric shitload of coffee for my inlaws. So not only am I guaranteed excellent food during the holidays, but good coffee as well.
What to do something fun? Go for a bike ride. Your relavitives don’t have bikes? Go buy them some. Don’t be a dick, bring a little Santa into Chinese New Year and you will walk away the hero, not the asshole.
You shoulda put your foot down in the begining but I assume most of you who have problems w/ your inlaws probably knocked up their daughter prior to getting married. Well… that makes you an asshole in the eyes of any father and if you fall into this catagory, I hope her brothers, uncles, and cousins kicked the living shit_outa you.
I have never followed any of the traditional Taiwanese customs. I got married back home, no wedding cookies, no red envelopes, no weird local voodoo witchcraft, no cheesy wedding photos, and my wife wasn’t pregnant. After having a couple of blunt chats w/ the inlaws in the beginning, today I never get any of the lame “do all foreigners…” questions. We both agree that we have our different perspectives - never a finger pointing at who is right or wrong.
But if you are like some of the pathetic posters who resort to bringing a few books to read because you think Chinese New Year is boring as hell then do your inlaws a favor and stay home. Odds are they, including your wife, would have a better time with you not around.
Some good points there, even if they were made by a rude, self-righteous prick. I enjoy CNY with the in-laws and have a good time, even though there’s no way in hell I’d ever be allowed to cook in Ah-mm’s kitchen. But what the fuck is wrong with reading a book rather than sitting through hours of screaming Taiwanese game shows?
Wow! You’re cool. I got married at home and didn’t have any wedding photos and my wife wasn’t pregnant either.
But I never knew that it was traditional for the Taiwanese bride to be pregnant on her wedding day! :shock:
For the record, its not my in-laws that I dislike seeing at CNY. I see them frequently throughout the year. My in-laws, for the most part, go out of their way to make me comfortable. That includes plying me with lots of drink. I don’t dislike seeing Ma and Pa.
No, its the mass exodus of humanity all traveling south on one day and then north on another, and the horrible traffic jams caused by this pilgrimage, that I really dislike.
You utter bastard! I’d managed to block that part from my memory – until now.
This year, I swear, I’m setting off at 4:30am.
You utter bastard! I’d managed to block that part from my memory – until now.
This year, I swear, I’m setting off at 4:30am.[/quote]
In that case, I’ve done you a service in reminding you to get the early start. You should thank me… 
Frankformosa makes some interesting points, but he’s wrong.
I don’t think people were saying there was anything pathetic about visiting relatives. I know I wasn’t. I just don’t like sitting inside a house full of people with whom I can’t communicate but owe a duty to be polite and act friendly for three straight days and nights, when the food is good but far too much is forced upon me, along with alcohol that I don’t particularly want but I feel it would be inhospitable to refuse, and there are no games in the house or other amusements except the TV, which is blaring too loud and is incomprehensible to me. That and the fact that it’s always a little uncomfortable staying in someone else’s house for a few days, and as el tigre pointed out the long drive sucks.
But I’ve got nothing against the people and I don’t claim to be superior to them. In fact, they’re very kind to me so I try hard to show my gratitude and how much fun I’m having. . . which gets tiring after a while.
And I don’t see your solutions as being so great as you claim, frankformosa. You say their food and drinks suck so you prepare your own food and drinks. Personally, I’d think some folks might be insulted by that. Chicken guts not good enough for ya? Don’t like their XO? Maybe you only think you’re the hit of the party. Maybe they think your italian food sucks and they’re just being nice to you. I once cooked an excellent seafood pasta for my inlaws (when they spent a couple days at my house) and I saw how puzzled they were by the food and I strongly suspect the father in particular would’ve much prefered local food.
I don’t feel any need to “put my foot down” with my inlaws, and it’s not from a lack of cajones. It’s because I want to be nice and respectful to them, I like them (although living there too long gets tiring) and it’s really not so long . . . once a year. But I definitely agree with your bike ride suggestion. Getting out and getting fresh air and exercise is the key. On that note, last year I went for a nice hike through a bamboo forest with my wife and father in law (serving a dual purpose – getting out and showing respect).
Nor is reading a book disrespectful. At my inlaws house there are so many people traipsing in and out day after day that they don’t even realize I’m gone and the alternative would be sitting downstairs where there are absolutely zero books or games to occupy my time so I’d be sitting there smiling and acting polite while watching the flashing tube and not understanding a word that is spoken from dawn to dusk, for 3 straight days. That’s just a little too much.
And I know my inlaws aren’t bothered by my approach because I always end up returning home with many huge boxes of food, which I appreciate. . . even the chicken guts. 
That’s right, they’re going out of their way to make you feel welcome and ensure that you’re having a good time, so they deserve your making a bit of an effort to give them the impression that they’re succeeding. But it is very tiring! Having to put on an act and pretend to be enjoying yourself when you’re bored witless is far more tiring than any kind of work at the office.
From your account, MT, I’d say you deal with the situation in a faultlessly positive and appropriate way.
I like my relatives. I just think it’s a shame to have so much time off from work only to be stuck in Hooterville.
I can understand that frankformosa started lampooning you, as some posts here left the impression that now you have the girl, the inlaws can go fuck thmeselves.
I would not cook for my outlaws, as at least the older generation would not eat it.
[quote=“Mr He”]I can understand that frankformosa started lampooning you, as some posts here left the impression that now you have the girl, the inlaws can go fuck thmeselves.
I would not cook for my outlaws, as at least the older generation would not eat it.[/quote]
‘lampooning’ is not the correct term for what that guy was doing
No, not lampooning – just dressing a mixture of good and bad points in chiding, obnoxious language.
I will accept obnoxious
He should just quit bitching and be grateful he’s not me.
theres a lot of talk of foreigners (mostly male) and their relations with their chinese inlaws.
am curious about how the chinese partner gets along with the foreign inlaws.
No matter what coping strategies you adopt while staying at the inlaws for CNY, whether it’s reading a book, playing PlayStation, making spaghetti bolognese, ridiing a bike, there’s no getting round the fact that for 90% of the time you are sitting around bored out of your freakin’ mind.
In previous years we escaped to tourist spots around the island …along with rest of Taiwan and his wife and kids and grandparents. This year we are threatened with excommunication if we don’t go. If anything my wife loathes going more than me. It’s not that she doesn’t love her parents - she would just much rather be doing something else somewhere else instead.
[quote=“Doug McKenzie”]theres a lot of talk of foreigners (mostly male) and their relations with their Chinese inlaws.
am curious about how the Chinese partner gets along with the foreign inlaws.[/quote]
I am in Sweden. My mother-in-law is like a friend to me.
We often cook together. It’s a lot of fun.
She was very amazed when I told her that there were a lot of problems
between the mothers and daughters-in-law in Taiwan.
Happy New Year everyone!
To frankformosa;
You harp on about the size of your cajones and yet you cook with the women somewhere you don’t really want to be…Whether it be reading, biking (yea right…see the weather forcast bud?)or cooking, everyone’s trying to make the best of an awkward holiday when they’d much rather be somewhere else. If you’d spend some more time with them during the rest of the year, it wouldn’t be so hard to “skip out” come holiday time…We simply move the dinner thing up a week, hand out the red envelopes and hit the road.
As for traffic, things should be much improved with the completion of the 2nd freeway north to south…
I’m outta here!