[quote=“Rabidpie”]I’m not really sure what to say.
I know a lot of people are encouraging and cheering you on about what you did, but I truly think the diplomatic and non-yelling route would have been more appropriate.
Of course I can’t speak for you, it seems like this In-Law is such a pain. Like, A real real pain. If my child (I don’t have one, but in the future, preferribly a long time from now), was treated terribly, I would never ever forgive that person. I think in Asain families, or at least in some Asain families the treatment towards children can be really rough. The thing that always gets me is the “treat your kid like crap, and the more you love him the more you will treat him like crap.” Of course, this is not true in all Asain families, but in some that’s how it is. In the future when I get married, I couldn’t imagine letting my In-laws belittle my son or daughter. I would love them too much to let that happen.
Anyhow, To be honest I think you shouldn’t marry a woman if the in-laws are terrible, those are going to be the kids grandparents and in my opinion just not a good idea. But since your already married and probably love your wife and children a lot, I just wanted to say that all in all, maybe standing up to your In-law, at least in that way was probably not the most appropriate thing.
I have two reasons for saying this:
The first one is that you think your son is to blame for this mess. Even though you are going to tell him its your fault, the poor kid is probably tramautized and this was probably not a good experience to have in the first place.
Secondly, You lost so much face, maybe you didn’t have any face to begin with, with this In-law. But either way the little you had you lost. Calling the cops is terrible, bad on his part, that just shows how terrible he is, and probably how scared of you he was. But, I’m sure the wife is upset, and maybe the parents keep telling and critizing you with your wife or etc, I just don’t see how much good could come from this.
Well, I hope good does come from this, as it does happen from time to time. I;m not you so I wouldn’t know what to do. I personally don’t think what you did was the right thing. But I will say that you definitly have balls to do something like that, I couldn’t help but chuckle a little over your story.
Also did you use mostly Chinese, how fluent are you? And when the cops came did you only use English?[/quote]
thanks for your input.
Obviously the diplomatic route would have been best. However, given my current condition & environment, that was not an option.
I don’t give a shite about my face. There’s enough mud on it from previous employment.
All I care about, as any reliable parent would do, is the care & protection of the younglings.
You have not yet spawned, so one can’t expect much in the way of recognition.
As for the actual linguistic angle, I swore in English, and talked realpolitrick in Chinese.
I must add, that the two cops were marvelous. As I said prior, they spoke Mandarin real slow for this dumb hick. Even gave me a sage lecture about cross-cultural sensitivity! No cop in NorthAmerica would have been so patient, nor drunk the sodas I bought them. They even took my jibes about cleaning/firing their weapons in good humour.
Outstanding!