Marge: Homer, did you eat my whole pan of brownies?
Bart: Uh oh. You’re in for it now, Dad.
Homer: Marge, I’m feeling a lot of shame right now.
Marge: I’m hearing that you feel a lot of shame
Homer: And I feel that you hear my shame.
Marge: I’m feeling annoyance and frustration, but also tolerance.
Homer: I feel validated by that.
Marge: Good! I’m glad we had this talk.
Homer: Me too. [walks off whistling]
You misread the pee!
Marge: A koi pond! Finally a place where I can be alone with my thoughts.
Marge (thinking): How much money did he piss away on this?
Jebediah Springfield: [on film] A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man.
Edna: Embiggens? I never heard that word before I moved to Springfield
Ms.Hoover: I don’t know why. It’s a perfectly cromulent word.
Homer: I don’t know jack about my boy. I’m a bad father! [bawls]
Selma: You’re also fat.
Homer: I’m also fat! [bawls more]
“This so called new religion is nothing but a pack of weird rituals and chants designed to take away the money of fools. Let us say the Lord’s prayer 40 times, but first let’s pass the collection plate.” ~ Reverend Lovejoy
Sit perfectly still. Only I may dance.
I didn’t do it.
This sucks.
Don’t you know I’m lactose intolerant!
Take it outside, Godboy.
Say your prayers Simpson, because the schools can’t force ya, like they should.
Marge: Homer did you barricade the doors?
Homer: Why? Oh. The zombies. No.
Yes the simpsons have come a long way since an old drunk made humans out of his rabbit characters to pay off his gambling debts.
It’s a lazy dog dangling afternoon.
Homer to Marge: I’ll come find you when I’m ready to stop having fun.
Lisa: Bart! Don’t you realize what this means? The next time we fall asleep, we could die!
Grandpa: Eh, welcome to my world!
Homer: Bart! Where’d you get that shirt?
Bart: <wearing an Hawaiian shirt> I dunno. Came out of the closet.
Homer: Uhhh… huh.
I’m missing the cook-offfffff!