Stan Lee: “I’m the Incredible Hulk!” (tears shirt)
Comic Book Guy: “Oh please, you couldn’t even turn into Bill Bixby.”
All my life I’ve been an obese man trapped inside a fat man’s body
halloween special (can’t remember which one), mayor quimby insults the French, who fire a nuclear missile into springfield. Comic book store guy is walking down the street reading an aquaman comic…
“but aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills!”
he sees a nuclear missile flying towards him at about 1000km/h.
“I have wasted my life.”
BOOM
brilliant
Comic book guy: “Are you the author of Hi and Lois, because you are making me laugh.”
From the halloween show where Comic Book Guy kidnaps Xena:
“Oh please, I’m not insane. I merely wish to take you back to my lair and make you my bride.”
“Here are some names you may call me on our wedding night: Obiwan, Iron Man,
Mr. Mxyzptlk, and of course, Big Papa Smurf.”
“I have here the only working phaser ever built. It was fired only once, to keep William Shatner from making another album.”
“Mr. Burns, you make Muddy Waters sound shallow and cheerful.”
“Thank you Smithers for your meaningless but heartfelt compliment.”
I know I shouldn’t eat thee…aregllglelllfgel
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Sacralicious.
My all time favorite:
Smithers (in the King Homer section of THOHIII): “I think women and seamen don’t mix”
Vote Quimby
When I can’t stop fiddling
I just take my ridillin
I’m popin and sailin man
-bart
Homer, do something. Today he’s drinking people’s blood, tomorrow he could be smoking!
Why…why was I programmed to feel pain?
Hi everybody!
I am evil Homer! I am evil Homer!
Hello Dr. Nick!
Similarly…
You don’t win friends salad! You don’t win friends with salad!
Hail to thee camp crusty!
By the shores of big snake lake.
Though your swings are rusty,
We know they’ll never break.
(Louder! Faster!)
From your teeming mess hall.
To your hallowed baseball field.
To your spick and span infirmary,
Where all our wounds are healed.
Hail to thee Camp Crusty!
Below Mount Avalanche.
We will always love Camp Crusty.
A registered trademark of the Crusty Corporation,
All rights reserved.
Chinese man: “Take this object. But beware, it comes with a terrible curse.”
Homer: “That’s bad.”
Chinese man: “But it comes with a free frogurt.”
Homer: “That’s good.”
Chinese man: “The frogurt is also cursed.”
Homer: “That’s bad.”
Chinese man: “But you get your choice of toppings.”
Homer: “That’s good.”
Chinese man: “The toppings contain potasium benzoate.”
(pause)
Chinese man: “That’s bad.”
Scientist #1: “Who’s going to buy a diet pill that makes you blind?”
Scientist #2: “We’ll let marketing worry about that.”
“Tonight on Wings…Ah, who cares?”