There is a core truth here that can’t be avoided and that is that foreigners are often treated here with a paternalistic, patronizing, condescending attitude that can be absolutely infuriating. There are probably a lot or reasons for this, first being the number of stumble bum knuckelheads that have washed up on these shores over the years. We are often arrogant, linguistically incompetent, and prone to histrionics. That being admitted to I would assert that there is a great deal more to it than that. In the first place there is a more linear form of interaction that occurs between westerners that more or less assumes that people listen to each other, take some sort of interest, and respond more or less to what was said. In Chinese there is a lot more talking past each other. Things are said and the response that comes back just has nothing to do with what was said previously. You see Taiwanese getting irritated by this all the time, especially toward service staff, who are really learning to snap to it. However, if you aren’t a customer (or often even if you are) and are actually intending to assert yourself in a situation where a decision has to be made about how something is actually done you run into a wall of resistance that has nothing to do with how sensible your assertions are. That is how it is everywhere, people really have to “learn” how to calm down and listen to each other, to give up on their ego and accept the notion that somebody else might be right, or that they might have a good idea. It’s just that here they are perhaps less far along that way, and for sure they are less far along that way when it comes to recognizing that a foreigner might have good ideas about how things could be done. It drives us nuts and we freak out and then they really have reason to label us as trouble makers and ignore what we are saying even more.
Also, being ignored just tends to close us down. If you get the feeling that somebody isn’t listening to what you are saying you won’t be amenable to listening to them either.
This might seem nitpicky but I can say with 100% confidence that this is the one issue that affects my life EVERY day. The more you try to DO anything here the more it becomes apparent.
Yesterday I went to the audio store and told them I wanted to “ChuangZao YI ge chonGFu BUOFang de* LuYIN Dai.” Which means that I wanted to create a continuous loop recording. I doubt that the staff there had a clue what that meant in any language so I got the Jus a mo ment routine and then was shuttled off to some kid who really spoke English quite well and could have spared me and himself alot of nervousness and posturing if he had just listened to what I was saying. What could have taken five minutes took half an hour.
It is essentially a face issue. First of all they don’t want to admit that they don’t understand something that is being said to them, and second they don’t want to admit that “what” you are saying is of any value, particularly if it is something new. They will just try to shut you down.
Generally speaking I would say that the best response to all of this is to be very patient, very clear, and express things as simply as possible. Then again, I have to admit that some of the most important relationships in my life were clarified and improved upon precisely because people were made to feel some of my anger over precsely this issue. You can only move forward for so long without the ackowledgment that what you think matters.
Caveat: All of this is a generalization. Of course it is not ALWAYS true. It is true often enough to be a frequent source of irritation though. That is for sure.
