Curious questions by visitors to Britain

The following are some questions directed at the national tourist office ‘Visit Britain’. No information was provided about the nationality of the visitors.

  1. Why was Windsor castle built in the entry lane (approach path) of Heathrow?

  2. In what city is your Tokio office located?

  3. Do churches in England open during Christmas?

  4. Can you manage a walk through the Lake District in one day?

  5. A friend of mine whom I hadn’t seen for twelve years moved to Romford. Can you tell me where he is?

  6. When is the guard change at the White House?

  7. How much is the entrance fee to Brighton?

  8. Do you have any information about Samantha Fox?

  9. Can I travel to Jersey by other means than boat or plane?

  10. Can you tell me who performs at Picadilly Circus?

  11. Are there any lakes in the Lake District?

  12. Does Wales close during the winter?

  13. Which subway line goes to Edinburgh?

  14. I sent a parcel from Paris to Melbourne last week. Can you tell me where it is now?

  15. Where can I change my money to English Euros?

  16. In what month do the May demonstrations happen?

  17. What bus do I need to take from Orkney islands to Shetland islands?

  18. At what time does the midnight train leave?

  19. At what time does the monster of Loch Ness appear and who feeds it?

(The above questions are translated from German, any errors are regretted.)

Real complaints heard first hand by me, from German holidaymakers in Greece:

  • the sea is too cold
    (This was in May.)

  • Nobody speaks German

  • The birds sing too loudly in the morning and wake me up

  • I didn’t get sent to a wild party town on my last-minute bargain ‘lucky dip’ holiday deal

  • I don’t like the food

Did the US get anything in return for Madona?

A little peace and quiet.

A little peace and quiet.[/quote]

VERY little. We got her tongue me downs as replacements. :raspberry:

Are the Scottish considered 2/5ths of an Englishman?

[quote=“tmwc”]Real complaints heard first hand by me, from German holidaymakers in Greece:

  • the sea is too cold
    (This was in May.)

  • Nobody speaks German

  • The birds sing too loudly in the morning and wake me up

  • I didn’t get sent to a wild party town on my last-minute bargain ‘lucky dip’ holiday deal

  • I don’t like the food[/quote]
    That’s not funny.

But the reactions appear to be typical. Should have sent them to Mallorca/Majorca, Germany’s colony. :smiley:

[quote]No information was provided about the nationality of the visitors. [/quote]But the questions just happened to have been translated from German :ponder:

PS. I’ve never heard of Austria