People like me? I’ve never impregnated a woman then left her. Or are you accusing me of actively harming single parents by not going out with them?
The issue here are childrens lives and wellbeing - sensitivity is a non issue by comparison.
People and their bloody feelings…
Hate to say it, but I think we are being trolled.
Look at the OP’s English. Not typos, but wrong word choices, grammar mistakes and kinda strange sentence patterns/expressions.
Not being a grammar Nazi, nor am I expecting posts to be written like English class essays, but something seems off here.
IMHO.
It’s a little humorous you think you’re just being trolled by OP.
@monkey_yuan spends his free time coming onto this forum only to argue, rather than contribute to anything.
(Edited, wrong user) (comments about a user that was removed. I edited this content out)
@epicphony called conservatives “nazis,” that’s all I need to say there. I don’t think he’s (she’s?) a troll, I just think he/she is very emotional.
Meanwhile @devasta00 is completely ignoring any real advice and letting everyone fall into a troll trap and just argue with each other. Hence why I edited out my previous post. It was quite lengthy, detailing some personal experiences and advice from it. Then I realized nobody really cares about advice and this topic has become something else entirely.
I for one appreciate a good troll.
I don’t think the OP is a troll, just a non-native speaker. Plenty of Americans aren’t native speakers of English, especially in places like New York.
My grandmother was a single mom and sent 4 kids to college. My grandfather died when my mom was 15. Even if we knew OPs situation, it doesn’t matter. Single parents (not just moms) will always be here, and we shouldn’t be judging others.
My husband’s ex-wife walked out the door. More evil single parents in the world. If he hadn’t have divorced, I wouldn’t have met him. I’ve got two great kids and a granddaughter now because of how all of our lives turned out.
Debating is fun. It’s great to test your ideas and get different view points. Though I suppose someone so cowardly that he/she has to create a throwaway account in order to feel comfortable levelling mild criticism at people on an internet forum wouldn’t quite understand that.
I am in a long term relationship with a single mom and it’s challenging but we love each other very much. Every relationship has its challenges. Just because someone is single and childless/never been married doesn’t mean it will be any easier…especially if she is Asian and you’re not.
You’re correct. I edited out that user for the sake of decency. For the past week I had these two names mixed up. Thanks.
Or perhaps I don’t use any usernames connected because a few years ago I received threats from someone that managed to find my home address. He wasn’t upset by anything I said either, just some anti-military fellow that got his kicks from sharing personal details of veterans. That’s also why I don’t share personally identifiable information anymore.
“Debating is fun,” that’s what you said to Andrew before. The truth of the matter is you never come to debate anything. You’ve used the same tactics so many times now it’s easy to see right through it.
Bait. Come into a random topic, saying something really disgusting trying to get a response. This topic for example, you’re claiming every single mother is a basket case that should be left alone. Doesn’t matter whether they’re victims of rape, abuse, anything. Their story doesn’t matter. Completely insane and illogical.
Stoke the fire. Say a couple more things along those lines, trying to get a fire going. Perhaps one or two key points you’ll rehash later.
Full troll mode. After the fire is big enough, that’s when you’ll settle down and start saying basic and logical points. Since most people are posting an emotionally fueled response to your disgusting comments, it’s easy to counter their points. That’s not a debate, that’s trolling and starting a “flame war.”
In closing, @monkey_yuan the fact I’m even responding to you means I’ve taken the bait. That’s my fault. Now, say what you want because I’m not following this topic anyway. I just came in to correct my mistake about typing the wrong username.
Accusing everyone you disagree with of flaming, trolling and baiting is the oldest trick in the book. What it really means is “I disagree with you but I can’t form a coherent argument or make a point, but my ego will never let me admit that”.
I never said every single mother is a basket case that needs to be left alone. I said most of the time there’s a reason they’re a single mother, and even if they’re not, it’s not in the childs best interest to have strange men in their house. For every feel good story of a single mother whose scumbag husband left her through no fault of her own and another man stepped in, there’s 10 more accurate stories of an emotionally damaged mother having a string of boyfriends, many of which end up abusing the child in one way or another.
Facts are - the traditional nuclear family is the best option. Failing that, it’s statistically much safer for the childs well being to not have adult men they’re not related to living with them - the prevelance of sexual abuse, physical abuse and murder is off the charts compared to biological fathers. The unicorn stories of the heroic non-biological dad are just that - unicorn stories. The common case of “moms fucked up boyfriends treating her kids like shit” are probably not offering their anecdotes here because they’re in jail or never put enough pennies together in their life to even visit Asia.
If people find that shocking then good - people need to be shocked because this head-in-the-sand, feel good circle jerk attitude to real social issues needs to die a violent bloody death.
It’s all a symptom of the same thing idiotic leftist biological denial. The idea that men and women are the same, different races are the same, biological and step fathers are the same, gay and straight relationships are the same - these ideas are so obviously false that people have to be trained to believe in them, and when people question those beliefs they respond like you’ve attacked a religion. That’s the reason people splutter and talk about how what I say is disgusting - their logic-bereft emotion-laden, religiously held convictions are being swept aside and they have no capacity to handle it.
Easier to just say I’m a troll, I guess.
One final point - I still have no idea how people can live in racist, sexist, family oriented Taiwan and still be phased by what I say. What a bubble you must live in.
What happens if you break up and the children lose a father figure - maybe for a second time?
You deliberately painted single mothers in a certain way.
You have prejudice against them. All of them.
I’m far from being a leftist, what I detest is discrimination espcially using an anonymous forum.
Don’t back away from your own statements. Own them. Stick your real name on em. Then talk to real single mothers and explain to them your views.
What statement am I backing away from?
I don’t associate with the kinds of women who put their childrens needs second.
A cause for, I’ve no doubt, widespread relief among said demographic.
A demographic which includes members of my family and the family of close friends I went to high school with.
Kids love having strange men living with them, there’s never any tension, stepfathers never resent their step children, biology doesn’t matter, the incidence sexual and physical abuse doesn’t rise dramatically, unicorns exist and single parents are always angels who have been wronged.
I envy all of you for having such sheltered lives and only knowing people who have had such sheltered lives. I’ve seen too much to ever condone this, and the stats support my ancedotes, not the narratives here.
According to the National Incidence Study of Child Abuse and Neglect, published in the United States in 2010:
Children living with their married biological parents universally had the lowest rate [of maltreatment], whereas those living with a single parent who had a cohabiting partner in the household had the highest rate in all maltreatment categories. Compared to children living with married biological parents, those whose single parent had a live-in partner had more than 8 times the rate of maltreatment overall, over 10 times the rate of abuse, and nearly 8 times the rate of neglect.
The traditional nuclear family is still the best choice, and introducing partners into a childs home is putting them at extreme risk.
https://www.acf.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/opre/nis4_report_exec_summ_pdf_jan2010.pdf
I agree with you Monkey, ideally a child will be raised by his biological mother and father.
But what if one of the parents dies or runs off and refuses to come back? Not saying I would ever date/marry a single parent, but I’m not sure what we should do with them either. Kill them?
Having been there, done that, I agree that this is (or can be) true, as long as she’s a better woman than you are. If that makes sense.
I have some sympathy with monkey_yuan’s point of view. The statistics are undeniable. Reality is what it is, but the “therefore” is not that all single mothers should become nuns, or should berate themselves until they die for being unlovable. It’s up to the individual not to become a statistic.