Dating and Herpes

Okay, I’ve been searching for some information about this and how people have been dealing with it here in Taiwan.

My experience in the U.S. has been positive because I always made sure to tell my partners before we had sex and was never rejected for it. Here in Taiwan I’ve been somewhat gun shy about it and am not sure how to approach it. I’ve had people come up to me at work and open their mouths to show me festering sores while on the street and subway I see people with all kinds of shit that would send people running in other parts of the world so clearly dealing with certain health issues is no problem.

I know foreigners here have it because I’ve heard a number of them joke about it in ways that indicated that they were probably not telling their partners. I don’t want to be an asshole and lie to someone just for the sake of getting laid and on top of that risk infecting them with herpes. It’s also not such a great way to start a relationship and should you ever get serious/married and they find out, well…you’ll be in real deep shit then(possibly).

What have other people’s experiences been like here? What do Taiwanese women say about it? Do the ones who have it tell their partners or do they just view it as a mild annoyance that shows up once in a while (if at all)?

Some facts (for those who don’t know):

Herpes 1 (Herpes Symplex Virus 1, HSV1) mainly found in and around the mouth area but also the genitals.
Herpes 2 (Herpes Symplex Virus 2, HSV2) mainly found around the genital area but also mouth area.
It’s viral, there’s no cure, but it can be suppressed with medication. Condoms can reduce infection rates but are not 100%.
You can be asymptomatic but still infect others.
Although it also appears that you can have it on other parts of your body such as your hands.
In the U.S. about 24% of the population has it. Many don’t know, many know but choose not say anything about it.
In the rest of the world it seems to be as common.

Aren’t there some stats that most people who are sexually active have contracted some strain of herpes. There are different strains, some are linked with causing ovarian cancer in females.

those little bumps are just herpes? I thought that was syphilis. Of course I’m not telling anyone else I have syphilis: I’d never get laid that way. Taiwanese chicks are so fussy.

Note to self: don’t pick up loose women at foreigner hangouts

that’s awful, what job do you do?

Take it away, pythons:

My mother has herpes, my father does not, so it does not always infect. I do not have it either.

She got it by being kissed as a small child by everybody in the congregation of the church where my grandfather was the minister.

The ovarian cancer thing, is that not HPV?

If you do not have it, then get a gardasil shot, it helps. I give that to all my kids.

if it’s asymptomatic, how would you know? would it show up in a blood test?

It is symptotic on my mum, the rest of us could have it, could not have it, is not showing up. I guess you are right, oh, no I know I do not have it, as I got screened for it some time ago.

[quote=“Mr He”]My mother has herpes, my father does not, so it does not always infect. I do not have it either.

She got it by being kissed as a small child by everybody in the congregation of the church where my grandfather was the minister.

The ovarian cancer thing, is that not HPV?

If you do not have it, then get a gardasil shot, it helps. I give that to all my kids.[/quote]

Sorry you are right it is HPV.

Oral herpes is not likely to “cross” to become genital herpes, unless there is significant mouth to, um, you know, contact. :smiley:

Also, the risk of male-to-female transmission is much higher than the risk of female-to-male transmission, particularly if condoms are being used. There’s just a lot more exposed.

Serious topic that should not be taken lightly. Everybody thinks of AIDS when the mention of STD’s are mentioned but that particular devil is actually less common than the total of other STD’s. G.H. is among the top of the list. I have a female friend in the U.S. that has the disease. It is devastating to her. My suggestion: If you are not that close, keep your mouth out of and off of there/that; and 7-11 is your best friend. No jest intended. Be careful out there!

The fact that you are still using “STD” reveals a lot. Any genuine professional should use STI for obvious reasons. :fume:

I, on the otherhand, call it the clap.

You can call it crap but I call it a serious problem by whatever name. Get a hold of yourself, my man. (oh! You said clap. So taken lightly, it is OK?)

I’ve often wondered if it’s possible to pick up herpes from casual contact. I mean, if my friend gave me a light peck on the lips. What if she had it G -> O, would I now have the G version? If a food worker went to do #1, “forgot” to wash his hands, then later hands you something, and then you touch your mouth. If the common cold virus is be transmitted this way, why not the STI ones?

This last scenario I’m quite concerned about. When using a public toilet, my wang sometimes touches the seat and even the rim of the bowl. And they’re not pinesol fresh, either. Could I have picked up something?

And another thing, if you have Herpes type 1 like my mother, then it is hard to keep hidden, unless you dress in a burqa.

You get sores around the mouth.

maybe that’s the whole point of a burqa.

Good point! Maybe the public health benefits of the burqa have been tragically overlooked.

It’s ironic really because everyone knows that herpes originated from France, and now they banned burqas in public.

OP, how come you’re concerned only with HSV? Especially since there are STD/STIs with much more serious and longterm consequences. I’m just curious.

Btw, the virus that causes (not ovarian but) cervical cancer is called HPV. That one is not as “popular” as it doesn’t do anything to guys. Just potentially kills women.

HSV: doesn’t kill or give cancer - has guys freaking out
HPV: gives cancer to women, kills them - guys pass it on, don’t care about it

Funny, no?

Not to mention HIV, but that’s an equal killer, so I don’t have to explain it.

[quote=“tash”]OP, how come you’re concerned only with HSV? Especially since there are STD/STIs with much more serious and longterm consequences. I’m just curious.
I’m concerned about HSV because I have it and I’m concerned for my partners. Yes, there are other far more serious STDs out there but they concern me less because they are not as common and i’m less likely to be in the company of someone who has some of those other STDs (although you never know sometimes).

Interesting how many responses there are to my question yet nobody bothered to answer it. I think one sort of attempted. I have herpes 1 and 2 and I’m curious about how others (who have it and I know you’re out there) deal with it when it comes to dating here in Taiwan. There are plenty of you who have it and don’t know and there are plenty of you who have and it don’t bother telling your partners.

So, for those of you who have it and make an effort to be honest…what happened? How did you go about it? How did she respond?