And I don’t mean the inactive ones, I mean the ones who passed on.Last year one of my mom’s neighbours, a 20 sth, guy died in a tragic motorcycle accident. He was my friend on FB and he used to show pics of my kiddos to my tech illiterate folks. When the tragedy happened, his FB page became a shrine. It went on for months and months, a friend would make a collage and post it, some would make videos, they would offer consolation to the family, and everytime I felt kicked in the stomach coz it reminded me of the tragedy. So I removed him from the friends list. Felt bad, but I know I had to do it.
Then, yesterday i was browsing some of my old albums and I came across a comment he had made on my pic. The comment was the usual ‘nice pic’ etc. butto see his face staring back at me and read words he must’ve typed took me to another level. I wanted to delete the comment, and then I felt bad. Why would I feel like that?? I really wasn’t close to him or anything, just that his death was quite a blow and well…has anybody lost people IRL but they continue to be a part ofyour online existence?
What do you do?
had a similar situation with a friend who suddenly passed. his Facebook page is now like a digital remembrance of his existence, people post nice things on special occasions like his birthday and talk about the happier times when he was around.
It is actually a nice tribute to someone, and an easy way to keep their memory alive, especially in a day and time where so many people have moved to so many different places and cannot be together in person.
Yes, but hiding it all away isn’t always the answer. I keep my sister’s pic on my wall, and the gifts from my grandma and so on, even though they’re gone. I think it’s better to remember them, even though the daily reminders can be hard, at first. Best to learn to accept it, and cherish their memories, IMO. In the same way, I wouldn’t delete a friend’s Facebook page, or links to their blog, personally. But each person has to deal with loss in their own way.
Delete it (unfriend him) then. It seems you’d rather avoid the pain of his being gone; perhaps you’d feel different if it was someone closer to you…For myself, I came across the voice of a loved one on the other side of my answering machine tape, which I obviously had not turned over for about five years. I don’t know why, but I decided to flip it over and play through it one day and there she was! It made me cry, it made me laugh, it made me miss her so much, but most of all it made me realize how much I love her. That’s never a bad thing, imho.
That’s the thing. He is NOT my loved one. My parents moved, after I got married so it was never my neighbourhood. He is an acquaintance, with a very tragic death story. I un-friended him, but I realize his comments are strewn all over my albums and yesterday it was a jolt reading it.
Then just delete them if they make you uncomfortable. You’ll remember him (or not) in whatever way you are comfortable with. There’s no real right answer to this kind of thing except the one that you decide you feel best with.
I agree with the deleting. This also happened to me, a not-so-close friend, who was a good person, passed. Every year it’s remembrance festival, and the comments people post just seem to easy/cheesy/annoying to me. The worst part is that it made me feel like a douche for not posting anything. So I deleted her. I’ll remember her my own way.
Reminds me of the video I posted on my youtube account of some crazy black militant muslim guys I filmed at Speakers’ Corner, Hyde Park, London. I filmed a bunch of crazy speakers there, but when i posted this one video it quickly became my most hit-on video and attracted heated debate from lots of people i didn’t know, many of them posting very angry and racist comments. It bothered me that my posting the video had incited such bile and it concerned me that some might associate me with them, so I deleted the video and now my youtube account is mostly back to just cute little Emily.
As for facebook, I entered that world a couple years ago to learn what the fuss was about, but I don’t have time for it at all, I never use it, and I’ve contemplated deleting my entire account completely, but haven’t had the guts. Instead my account just sits there growing increasingly old, unused and outdated.
You can block the person and I think you can block posts made on their page as well as delete their comments on your pictures, without having to defriend them.
Dragonbabe suggests using “Hide” rather than unfriending or deleting; that way, in the future if you want to view those pages again you have the option.
yeah, it made my eyes water too, sorry for your loss, citizenk.
Divea, hide this friend instead of deleting. Time heals, come back to him later when you’re ready, afterall, those stuff are the only thing you have to remember him by.
