Dear Santa,

I have a been a reasonably well intentioned boy this year.

I would like a shiny new regulator for Christmas. As for the graphic novels and the dvd burner, I’ve taken care of those myself. Thanks.

Please tell God thanks for not taking my finger.

:rainbow:

“a shiny new regulator”

Hmmm… that could mean a lot of things.

[quote=“irishstu”]“a shiny new regulator”

Hmmm… that could mean a lot of things.[/quote]

Enjoy your coal, you sicko. :rainbow:

Hate to tell you this, but I don’t think God takes Santa’s calls anymore. When St. Nic visited the US and was talked into crossing from public service to the private sector and signed that deal with Coca Cola, I think God pretty much disowned him.

But the good news is, you can talk to the big guy yourself.

Back to Santa…

Dear Santa, blah, blah… very good girl… blah, blah… OB tampon carrying case, please! Thanks! :slight_smile:

Dear Santa,
I’ve been a pretty fucking good boy this year.
Except for, you know, the cussing and shit.
I don’t need much, but maybe you could see that I don’t get infestated with any of those stomach-turningly gross boils and shit like my pal jd, because, you know, that’s pretty fucking disgusting shit.
Your friend,
the chief

ps tell them Goddamn elves they still owe me from when I was 7 and I got the Mountie GI Joe, talk about the lamest fucking GI Joe ever or what…
XOXOXO
tc

Hate to tell you this, but I don’t think God takes Santa’s calls anymore. When St. Nic visited the US and was talked into crossing from public service to the private sector and signed that deal with Coca Cola, I think God pretty much disowned him.

But the good news is, you can talk to the big guy yourself.

Back to Santa…

Dear Santa, blah, blah… very good girl… blah, blah… OB tampon carrying case, please! Thanks! :slight_smile:[/quote]

Are you kidding? Santa gets MUCH better press than God ever has.

Tail
wags
dog

Good luck with your Ta…ta…tt

I just can’t say it. :astonished:

or pulling it. :sick:

And I thought I had low expectations for Christmas. Poor girl. :frowning:

As for me, last weekend I bought a new pair of shoes for myself, so I gave them to my wife figuring she’s probably having difficulty getting presents for me. I was happy that I had assisted her with that. But this morning when I suggested she might want to wrap them and stick them under the tree, she informed me she can’t do that, because shoes are a bad gift – they would signal that I will run away. Oh well, I tried to help. :idunno:

[quote=“Mother Theresa”]
As for me, last weekend I bought a new pair of shoes for myself, so I gave them to my wife figuring she’s probably having difficulty getting presents for me. [/quote]
Uh… and you’re think I’m sad?

[quote=“tash”][quote=“Mother Theresa”]
As for me, last weekend I bought a new pair of shoes for myself, so I gave them to my wife figuring she’s probably having difficulty getting presents for me. [/quote]
Uh… and you’re think I’m sad?[/quote]

:laughing:

Tell you what, maybe we can meet up after opening our presents and I’ll show you my new shoes (boring brown, by the way) and you can show me your new tampon case.

jdsogladyousaid"case"

You have no idea, do you?

Cooool! Do you think I could get one to carry my pencils? :bouncy:

I’m sure you could get one to carry your pencil, Dick…erm, I mean MT

God is cruel … Santa is kind … because Santa has a part time job and God is in the weeds all year around … so much that he/she gets depressed and doesn’t give a f**k about mankind

[quote=“tash”][quote=“Mother Theresa”]
As for me, last weekend I bought a new pair of shoes for myself, so I gave them to my wife figuring she’s probably having difficulty getting presents for me. [/quote]
Uh… and you’re think I’m sad?[/quote]

Ok, tash, I’m upping the ante. My wife just agreed to buy me a NT$30k tailor-made, cashmere jacket to go with my new shoes. :slight_smile:

Dear Santa,

The last few years, I’ve been too busy feeling sorry for myself to notice any thing you’ve brought me. Well this year, I’m in good spirits. So I’m to blessed to be stressed. So, I would like the following

1)A Land Rover
2)Takeshi Kaneshiro’s hand in marriage
3) No pre-nup with that marriage
4)A year’s worth of facials and massages
5)A year’s worth of SKII facial soap
6)my life purpose
7)new underwear and shoes
8)a house with a big yard for the dogs
9)a Wii
10)and plenty of laughter with friends old and new for the coming year.

Signed
Namahottie

Hmmmm.
Christmas list?

  1. A bed that doesn’t suck
  2. A yard so I can have a doggy
  3. An old black lab named Coalie to put in that yard.
  4. my mother to lose about 150 lbs.
  5. A face lotion that actually keeps my skin from peeling in the winter here.
  6. a decent doctor
  7. Promethazine …not the crappy copy shit they give you here.
  8. A new Marcus Miller… Tell me she isn’t HOT
  9. Chinese classes
  10. To not be so stupid.

Dear Santa,

I’d like an 8-ball of the stuff that you give your reindeer to make them fly.

Dear Santa,

Thank you for the roller skates that you got me last year when you finally granted my wish (20 years too fucking late). They are gathering dust nicely next to my broken sandals and cracked sneakers in the shoe bin. Okay, I do appreciate the effort Mom put in to find quad skates and the strange looks she must have gotten when she had to ask for them in a lady’s size ___ for her 26-year-old daughter. If only she had gotten them when I asked the first time instead of waiting two decades…

Anyways, Santa, I’m gonna cut to the chase. I’m a simple girl with simple needs and this is what I need. I need a few million dollars, preferrably American although with the dollar’s performance lately, maybe you’d better make that pounds sterling. I’d also like to have a guy to spend this money on me. Nothing fancy… arms, legs, decent face, maybe a bit of chest hair if you have the time to add that… I’ve been a fairly good girl and when on the bus, I gladly give my seat up to the elderly, injured, and pregnant (but not those smug little high school fucks). I’ve cut down on the swearing… okay, I haven’t but I’ll try to use astericks more often. I haven’t borne hatred toward anyone wearing a red shirt or hat in two whole months and I even helped retrieve an empty bottle when a poor old security guard lost control of his hand muscles and accidentally flung it into the middle of the street when he thought no one was looking. Please see it in your heart to deliver the money either directly to my bank account or in the form of cash in the hands of the man you’ll be sending me. You can deposit it into account #…

Oh yeah, merry Christmas and shit. Oops, and sh*t.

Love,
ImaniOU

p.s. Could you also squeeze in faster downloading times on my uTorrent? Lost is getting ready to come back out of a 3-month hiatus and patience isn’t exactly a strong trait of mine. Thanks again, la!