debating on moving back to tw for my fiancee.


I met my wife in EU, fallow her to taiwan, living there for 4 years, got married, now we are back in EU. She did not wanna move, and i did not wanna live in taiwan. Eventually, she accepted, but was a lot of bad mood, negative energy and she did not really grab opportunities in europe. I even gave her financial support and 3 different eu countries to pick up. Personally, would be easier for me to stay in taiwan. Way less hassle, but question about long term

If you have second doubts, hold it, just hold it. Yea there will be pressure from her, and her parents. but so what, just hold it.

Sorry, but i have to be straight here, you should know taiwanese culture, your parents are taiwanese right? Taiwan is racist place, very superstious, people like to gossip. I mean you will lose face marrying a single mother. And people will treat you as taiwanese, cause you look like one of them. Does not matter you grow up in states. Society will give you zero respect. Is not like marrying divorce women in west. Is totally different game. Probaly she can not move to usa, cause in this case she will lose a son. Well is she from a rich family, prepare you will be a puppet of her parents, but yea they will love you for doing this great “favour”. You can have an easy life and simple not care. You could maybe get away if you have money and are older. In other cases you will lose a face.

If you want a married life, without own kids, and this kind of responsibility, this might be a good deal.

Otherwise i think you putting too much in it…




dON’T worry bout Da FACE man. Be a REAL man and be who you are. YOU love Da Woman, you get DA Woman. The rest is Fluff.

But you be a playin ? Then you best be playin with someone else hear? Don’t be messing with wimin with childrin.

Messes up the kids.


I doubt that any of us can even come close to guessing how committed the two of you are to each other, or which of you would weather the move more easily career-wise and psychologically.


That might be tough to find a good job in. Most Taiwanese don’t seem to give a shit about the interior design of their homes, except for those who have the genius ideas along the lines of “Of course we can fit a fourth bedroom in here, it’s thirty pings ffs!” and “Let’s get more room by extending the bedroom into the balcony but don’t bother waterproofing the ceiling.”


if you think of those 80/90s kind of apartments, i guess that’s true. newer ones look a lot prettier and people here are willing to pay for well-designed apartment. imo the problem is more about the competition. there are a lot of interior design firms, seems like every other design student just wants to open his own little company. salaries are really low and the workload is heavy. if you’re not really outstanding or haven’t made a name yet, it’s though to make a living. taiwanese customers aren’t known for their patience, they want it now and cheaper. but i guess, that applies for every industry here:stuck_out_tongue:


I moved to tw for my fiancee in 1997 and it worked out very well – much better than I had thought it would and far better than everyone told me it would. If you’re a hustler and self-reliant tw is full of opportunities for creatives. If not, there’s always English teeching.


Exactly right, interior design and architecture jobs are very few and rare. The market in Taiwan and US has too many people with architecture degrees or interior design.


Posts putting down English teaching here get old. Some of us do work really hard, just FYI. If it’s a fallback, a plan B or a lark for you, you won’t succeed in the profession (or you’ll be stuck in kindys and budget buxibans your whole time). Enter the ESL field if you’re passionate about teaching. We don’t need any more teachers who begrudgingly do it, because they couldn’t secure a job in some other field.


Maybe somebody should start English Bootcamps here in Taiwan, eight weeks of kinetic, dawn-to-dusk English language learning somewhere in the mountains. The kids come back fit, chattering away in English with new found confidence in themselves and their language ability.


The reason why I opt to go to her rather than bringing her and her kid to NY because financially and environmentally will not work. I don’t think she will like the freezing winters and never the less it will be very difficult for her to find work since her English is poor… This is a heavy weight on my shoulders x2 w her kid.


Does America have any mutes? You have not told us everything.


wtf lol …such attitude.


Sorry, OP, but I didn’t get your point…
Are you asking us for advice? If so, why not share not details, so we can provide proper one?
Or are you just venting? If so, then go on, don’t let us stop you…


Auntie Peng’s 10 NTDs on the issue:

  1. Interior design/architecture is a difficult field for a foreigner to break in. There was one on the boards and his experince was traumatic. Search his testimony.

  2. I commend you for taking the logical step. It is easier for you as a single man to leave your life aside for a while and test your fiot with thsi person you cherish enough to do that. That shows commitment. It is harder for her to uproot her child for an uncertain adventure -you guys are bnot married and commited- not to mention getting residency or at least a long term visa with work rights. It makes sense that you move here, better if you like it.

  3. As said, there are a couple of things that could make the transition better, maybe help you develop a very fuitful carreer as many others have done. One, get a proper B.A. Two, learn Mandarin, hopefully at least Intermediate -which makes job environmenta lot smoother. These may take a year, six months if you really apply, but then your prospects for work will open up.

May I suggest applying for a scholarship? If that is not possible, how about studying on your own? It is not that expensive here, and there are several busines programs toptally or partially taught in English? The degree is not your priority in that case, but the local networking and college support to find a job.

Or save so you can start a company here.Or network to become representative of seller here. This last one would be fantastic.


You make a very valid point about her probably not being able to adjust if she moved over to NY. I brought the gf over there for a week and she couldn’t stand the cold.

Serious question, if you’re Chinese is poor and her English is bad, how do you guys communicate?


People here are already wearing huge jackets while looking at me like I’m crazy in a t shirt and shorts.


Yeah, I was getting crazy stares from all the people in down jackets when I was stopped at red lights on my scooter in short sleeves.


This is the difference between me and you. I mind information; you crave for pity (that is, inability to take it directly).


The OP said in his first post that his spoken Chinese was “okay” – that it was reading and writing that were a problem. Just FWIW.