Debating on staying in taiwan with my gf or bust

I been with my gf for over 3 months and things are heading in a right direction…no arguments or fights just some little misunderstandings here and there. She’s a definite keeper in my checklist and we practically talk to each other every single day since we first met and I utterly adore her looks and personality. At times I recall I would be having a very bad day and just to hear her voice or the sight of her would make me instantly forget…sorry reader feel free if you feel a need to

My current situation is that I just relocated to Taipei intending to start a new life and grow a career. The problem is that the market is tougher than in the US since I don’t speak fluent mandarin so takes longer to find work. She understands my situation and many times has helped me by paying for things when we go out or tells me to save money and not to spend much on her. Regardless I am getting close to using up my savings on daily living expenses so the options I conclude is to either leave her and return to the US or settle and continue to grow our relationship and build my career here…

If I go with option B than more troublesome part is I would need to return to the states and sell my car than come back. This is just a clouded judgement since I only been living in a new country for about 5months in hopes things will pick up and bypass the uncertainties…
In addition, I plan to marry her if things stay the same with my gf in about a year or so which is why I am having a difficult time deciding without the possibility of regrets.

What’s a “”? :ponder:

You need to make sure you are legally able to work in Taiwan. If you two are ready to marry, then you can use that as your “in” to working legally in Taiwan. If you do not work legally in Taiwan, you will exhaust your savings.

Maybe ask her if she will go to the USA to visit with you? And maybe she will like living there?

It seems a real dilemma; leaving her behind or getting married in a year from now.

3 months is not really enough time to make a decision like this. Also, it’s better to have your life and career pretty much together before getting married. How old are you, may I ask?

^ exactly. can you not teach english? if money is that hard up, why not take an english teaching job to pay for your living expenses then after a year you can get married and move or do whatever. 3 months is no time at all to be judging a relationship seriously.

Yeah. And what sort of work would you be qualified for if you could speak fluent Mandarin? Do you have a degree in something saleable? Do you have a 4-year degree in the first place? That’s pretty much the rock-bottom necessity for working legally in Taiwan in most cases, absent work rights through marriage.

Oh yea man being taking that up but only couple hours per week so I am still trying to apply for more teaching gigs at random cram schools.


I worked as an project engineer and an unlicensed architect in the states for over 15years. Have a bachelors degree and dual citizenship so no worries with legally able to work in taiwan. I been interviewed by a few design and architecture firms in Taipei and was told because of my language barrier they couldn’t justify a decision to hire me.

OK, you’re in good shape, then! (Forgive me, but we get a lot of posters who are like, “I’m 17 and a half, dropped out of high school, and I want to get a tech job in Taiwan” or stuff like that.) My advice would be to learn Mandarin. It’s not that hard to become reasonably conversant. Don’t worry about reading, just get so that companies are comfortable with you. Don’t try to do it with your gf. Get a teacher or tutor and buckle down. If you’re going to make a life for yourself in or involving Taiwan, it will pay big dividends in the long run.

^ What she said.

My suggestion would be to work where you can to earn money, then come back to Taiwan to spend it. I pretty much do this. The accountant at my previous company did the same. With your background, you should be looking at project/contract work rather than a 9-to-5 anyway. True, you’ll be separated for, what, 50% of your lives, but IMO that’s not necessarily a bad thing :slight_smile:. Obviously, she could join you while you’re working whereever, although air fares are likely to make a big dent in your savings.

And sell the car regardless. Cars are a waste of money.

If I were in your predicament OP, I’d do this:

  1. Sell the car.
  2. Do some freelance jobs while looking for a full-time job. Or come up with an idea to launch on a crowdfunding site like Kickstarter. If you’re interested, I’ve got a bunch of ideas that I’d like to work on.
  3. Take courses in Chinese because English can only take you so far in Taiwan.