Damn, should have been the other guy who did the shooting. Missed a chance to save the world a lot of grief.
Top 9 Reasons Dick Cheney Shot His Hunting Partner
-
(tie) Harry kept talking about changing their names to Ennis and
Jack and “starting up a sheep ranch out west together when we retire.” -
(tie) Retaliation for Tupac.
-
One too many lesbian jokes.
-
(tie) It was Saturday.
-
(tie) He looked a bit like Howard Dean in that lighting.
-
With Jack Bauer’s kill count way down the last few weeks someone had
to try and step up to the plate. -
His dog talked him into it.
-
Wayne Gretzky’s wife bet him he wouldn’t do it.
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He hadn’t bagged his limit.
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To bolster his sagging “street cred” ratings.
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To show Muslim extremists that they don’t have the market on crazy
cornered just yet.
:bravo: Good one!
Would you rather be hunting with Cheney or driving with Ted Kennedy?
Oi, read back, we’ve had that one . . good as it is!
I got no idea what a Jon Stewart is, but this from a mate:
From "The Daily Show " with Jon Stewart:
Rob Corddry, a “vice-presidential firearms mishap analyst,” said that “according to the best intelligence available, there were quail hidden in the brush,” and “everyone believed there were quail in the brush,” and “while the quail turned out to be a 78-year-old man, even knowing that today, Mr. Cheney insists he would still have shot Mr. Whittington in the face.”
HG
Even though Cheney is supposed to be a very experienced hunter, he seems to lack firearms safety skills. I guess he missed out on that when he dodged the draft.
I hope the man who was shot recovers quickly.
I wouldn’t worry about it, he’s an attorney…not like there’s any danger of blood loss or heart damage…
I wouldn’t worry about it, he’s an attorney…not like there’s any danger of blood loss or heart damage…[/quote]
I sense lawyer jokes coming to Forumosa.com
The guy that Cheney shot has had a heart attack.
news.yahoo.com/fc/us/bush_administration
If he dies, will they charge him with manslaughter? That would be ironic. Cheney dodges the draft during wartime, only to begin a life of murder and crime as the vice-president.
[quote=“zarathustra”]The guy that Cheney shot has had a heart attack.
news.yahoo.com/fc/us/bush_administration
If he dies, will they charge him with manslaughter? That would be ironic. Cheney dodges the draft during wartime, only to begin a life of murder and crime as the vice-president.[/quote]
Well, I heard he had ALREADY been cleared of any wrong-doing. Dunno how it’ll stand if the guy dies though, but the heart attack WAS caused by a pellet lodged in the guy’s heart, so you know…
Of course, in the Republican leadership’s mindset, they’re above all laws, so it’s not like they even need to be “cleared” other than for the local cops to say: “Oh, you’re part of the Bush presidency? OK, please just go right along. Sorry to have bothered you.”
It reminds me of seeing Kurt Vonnegut on the Daily Show. Kurt said something like this: Everyone’s talking about the president and what an idiot he is and stuff. Well I’d like to say something good about him. (J.S. says, Okay, go ahead.) Well, he’s not the stupidest man in Washington. That would be the Vice-President.
You called it, Kurt.
Dick Cheney jokes :
Dick Cheney doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Dick Cheney drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.
Dick Cheney does not sleep. He waits.
Dick Cheney built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination.
As Oswald shot, CHeney met all three bullets with his fist, deflecting them. JFK’s head
exploded out of sheer amazement.
Dick Cheney’s tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
If you can see Dick Cheney, he can see you. If you can’t see Cheney, you may be only
seconds away from death.
Dick Cheney has never blinked in his entire life. Never.
If you ask Dick Cheney what time it is, he always says, “Two seconds till.” After
you ask, “Two seconds to what?” he roundhouse kicks you in the face
Dick Cheney once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
Dick Cheney is Luke Skywalker’s real father.
Dick Cheneyis currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for
his left and right hands.
Dick Cheney does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will
simply change the actual spelling of it.
It was once believed that Dick Cheney actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is
a lie, created by Cheney himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.
Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force:
the light side, the dark side, and Dick Cheney.
On the 7th day, God rested… Dick Cheney took over.
Superman wears Dick Cheney pajamas.
The Bogey Man checks under his bed for Dick Cheney.
Dick Cheney is actually dead, the Grim Reaper just has not had the courage to tell him.
Dick Cheney can divide by zero.
Do you reckon Cheney had a pool of staffers write those up for him? I mean, it sounds way more impressive than ‘tricky ticker Dicky’.
HG
The guy was a rich GOP lawyer, so not sure if he has a heart.
This would all be funny if Cheney were anything but a whennie-assed war monger. Seriously, for all you self-labelled patriots out there, what kind of war record does Cheney have? The purple chicken heart?
[quote=“Huang Guang Chen”]From "The Daily Show " with Jon Stewart:
Rob Corddry, a “vice-presidential firearms mishap analyst,” said that “according to the best intelligence available, there were quail hidden in the brush,” and “everyone believed there were quail in the brush,” and “while the quail turned out to be a 78-year-old man, even knowing that today, Mr. Cheney insists he would still have shot Mr. Whittington in the face.” [/quote]
A bit more of that schtick from those America-hating commies at the WSJ:
Jon Stewart: "I’m joined now by our own vice-presidential firearms mishap analyst, Rob Corddry. Rob, obviously a very unfortunate situation. How is the vice president handling it?
Rob Corddry: "Jon, tonight the vice president is standing by his decision to shoot Harry Wittington. According to the best intelligence available, there were quail hidden in the brush. Everyone believed at the time there were quail in the brush.
“And while the quail turned out to be a 78-year-old man, even knowing that today, Mr. Cheney insists he still would have shot Mr. Whittington in the face. He believes the world is a better place for his spreading buckshot throughout the entire region of Mr. Whittington’s face.”
Jon Stewart: “But why, Rob? If he had known Mr. Whittington was not a bird, why would he still have shot him?”
Rob Corddry: “Jon, in a post-9-11 world, the American people expect their leaders to be decisive. To not have shot his friend in the face would have sent a message to the quail that America is weak.”
Jon Stewart: “That’s horrible.”
Rob Corddry: "Look, the mere fact that we’re even talking about how the vice president drives up with his rich friends in cars to shoot farm-raised wingless quail-tards is letting the quail know ‘how’ we’re hunting them. I’m sure right now those birds are laughing at us in that little ‘covey’ of theirs.
Jon Stewart: “I’m not sure birds can laugh, Rob.”
Rob Corddry: "Well, whatever it is they do