Discipline problems with five year old

Today a student told me he wanted me to die. He’s five. And this was after he pushed me while I walked into the classroom. I had actually been in the middle of “Good Morn-” run, push.

What the heck, kid?

It seems things with him have been getting worse, at least with me. But my boyfriend also teaches him in another class, and he mentioned that this student can be mean. And I agree. He reacts aggressively when he doesn’t get his way. If another student accidentally bumps into him, he will bang the desk or try to physically hurt them. It’s getting out of hand.

When he tried to push me today, I was tired and basically lashed back out, sternly giving him a “you DO NOT push teachers!” He got very quiet. I asked him why he had pushed me. He changed the subject. Issue…averted. But not solved. Because then he wanted me to die.

SO! I am asking, from a teacher’s point of view, how to discipline during such matters. Teaching in a cram school is different than parenting. I don’t have time to pull him aside and work through the behavior. I also have other students waiting for me to begin or continue class. And another thing: I tried sending him to the office but he wouldn’t budge. I could have gotten someone, but the way they discipline here is like going from 0-100 in two seconds, with loud yelling in Chinese.

Any advice on wrangling mean kiddos?

I should add, when I first met him, he was delightful. I really hope it isn’t my fault as a teacher that he has become aggressive. But I wonder if things are okay at home as well.

Have you tried reaching out to the parents. Repetitive Behavioral issues start at home, not much a buxiban teacher can do imo.

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Aren’t each kido/students has this notebook and usually Teacher need to write something and parents need to check on this notebook? Or you can inform your head supervisor about it so that they could communicate with this boy’s parent.

If I’m in your situation I will make friend with this little one and teach him some manners.

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telling someone to go die when you are pissed off. Does it get any more Chinese then that…

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Thanks guys. I have thought and thought about this today. Only because I am trying to figure out if there is something I need to change in my teaching style, be more assertive or let them have more fun in class (they’re five, for goodness sake), and I believe his English is proficient enough to try and glean some empathy out of him. Otherwise, I might just give him the choice to be nice or go to the office. Either way, I’m not ignoring it, which I have been doing and that didn’t work. I appreciate your input.

That type of behavior is learned and its likely he is either having emotional issues or his parents act like that at home and hes acting out.

Usually if kids are doing that they either need love or attention. Id ask why and ask where those emotions are coming from, rather than trying to punish it out of the kid which hell get in droves the rest of his upbringing anyways…

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I don’t always agree with homer but he hit it on the nails here.

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Yes. I figured this as his logic: I die, he doesn’t have to go to class. He doesn’t want to be in class. He is being made to come to class everyday. He doesn’t have a lot of control over that.

Maybe I am wrong as to why he would say that. I guess I should have asked.

From what it seems, he gets a lot of attention. According to other teachers, he is “spoiled” because he acts out when he is told no. Still, you’re right, that he is learning unhealthy behavior somewhere and displacing the anger toward me, other teachers, students, etc.

What do I say if his reasoning is simply: “I don’t like you”? Besides…I’m sorry you don’t like me but I have no control over whether you come to class or not so let’s continue this worksheet because if we don’t, your parents will complain and my boss will be upset? Lol

I only teach big kids nowadays, but one point. If you issue a threat to children you have to be prepared to follow it through. He needs some come back for the fact that you ordered him to go to the office and he refused.

Don’t ever issue a threat and then back down.

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Don’t ever issue a threat and then back down.

You’re completely right. Inconsistency is hard on kids, even if it is inconsistent discipline. I suck at boundaries. But I’m trying.

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You’re doing fine. You care.

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I don’t think its your job to be liked, you’re there to teach the kid and provide it with as much guidance as is within your role reasonably as a teacher. You can’t let kids see you are seeking their approval, that’s the main thing. Once they see that they’ll work you knowing you want their acceptance to get the attention they want.

My kid was in buxibans in TW. He hated it, he’d act out out of boredom. Sometimes they act up when they’re smart and realize the whole thing is a silly racket and dont wanna be part of it.

Challenge the kid, give him some projects. …

I never said anything about seeking his approval. But he does often say: “I don’t like you.” (He says this to other teachers as well). I wouldn’t respond with “oh no, why not??!” I usually do ask but I try not to take it to heart and just keep the schedule moving/avert attention.

Good to know. Sorry your son had to suffer through those.

But yeah. Respect toward the teacher from the students should be the minimum.

And Lord knows how many times I have tried being his “friend”. Which is why I am so flabberghasted by all of this behavior.

Or, the hell with it just get a ruler and have him open his palms. Go with the ol’ standby.

Psh and be fired.

I also could not do that to a child.

You have a lot of insight into the needs of kids so I thank you for your ideas.

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Absolutely, or put another way, don’t make threats you’re not going to or can’t follow through on.

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It’s worth noting that when you tell someone to “go die” in Chinese, it’s basically the equivalent of telling them to piss off. I wouldn’t take it literally.

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LOLLL.

Okay. :slight_smile:

He once said his dad was (pointer-finger pointed up, then bent down which I take to mean dead?) …but I met his dad. He lives in China and came to visit. Soooooo was he telling me he wants his dad to piss off as well?

Either way. Interesting! I actually feel better knowing this.

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“Cry over one’s father’s death” likewise shouldn’t be taken literally either.

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