Dear friends, I found out a few weeks back that my wife is having an affair. She is Taiwanese, I am European. We have two boys (>…<)… 9 and 10 y.o. I will pass over the throes and the agony of what’s next, but let’s just say at this point I have firm evidence and knowledge of the identity of the other party (another European with two boys too. What are they thinking??). Anyway, I contacted an attorney firm yesterday and have a meeting with them on Friday. Their fee is 10,000NTD for an hour of consultation, and they will then tell me the global fee for the case. Isn’t that expensive? what should be an “average” fee for such case, and do any of you have recommendation for a specific law firm. Thanks a lot!
If they are really good lawyers, consultations may cost that much and more. And you’ll want really good lawyers for this.
Aren`t Europeans, and especially Latins, a little more forgiving of such actions? My advice would be to try and smooth it out before doing anything drastic.
The outcome of this process will have a considerable impact on your quality of life, and that of your kids, until they are adults. Lawyers are leeches but I wouldn’t cheap out on this if I were you.
Assuming divorce is the right solution for you, an uncontested divorce does not require a lawyer. AFAIK you just need to turn up (both of you) at the household registration office and sign a piece of paper. Have you discussed this option with her?
Lots of people choose to try to work through infidelity, but it seems as though OP has decided to take the other path. At this point I think it’s best we stick to giving him advice rather than trying to convince him otherwise.
My advice…do you have cold hard evidence of the cheating? Screenshots and the like? Or does it not matter since you’ve both more or less agreed to split?
The only issue after that is contact with children.
I have the feeling that quite a few posters on here have experienced a divorce or two, so the OP should get some good advice.
I think one important question is: what do you hope to have in your hands as you walk away from this marriage?
Do you want custody of your children? Do you want to take them back home to the European country from which you hail? Do you want to make sure she doesn’t see a single coin of your money after all’s said and done?
Yes, that’s true. I guess he needs proper legal advice there. However I suspect the practicalities would be best resolved amicably rather than via the courts, which inevitably just ratchets up the hostilities. The OP does, after all, hold all the cards here.
When my brother got divorced (similar reason to the OP) no lawyers were involved. Best way to go, if both parties are reasonable. Unfortunately, this is rarely the case.
Divorce fees are that high, normally startin at 7k for the consultation here.
If you talk to her first and she agrees on the divorce you can save the total and the consultation fee by signing a paper over 20 minutes at the Household Registration Office. In that paper will be listed the division of assets and custody agreed by both of you. Now, if you don’t have a consensus prepare to spend big buck with attorneys.
I suggest moving accounts out of Taiwan and out of reach before starting anything.
They were probably thinking that they won’t get caught and were in love and/or horny.
Could also be they are planning to start a new family with 4 boys, his and yours.
What kind of evidence do you have ?
Thank you all for your responses. At this point I was mostly concerned with paying a fair price for the attorney. As for what to do, thanks for your advices but you’ll understand that I do not wish to discuss the specifics here… my decision is not yet taken, I am still gathering evidences and weighing my options, knowing that priority is for the boys indeed. Then again as I dwell deeper into their intimacy, it seems it’s going to take a lot of convincing from her part to keep me on a path with her. The way I see it she had moved from her constant arguing about money (by local standard we are well-off) to finding for herself a better bread-winner, to the cost of breaking two families. I don’t have much respect for that…