Before anyone gets into the morals of this. I don’t care what you think. I have gone over both sides of the argument over and over again in my head, and with my family.
I am still not sure what I will do, and I am giving her time to get better. I don’t think she would want me to wait around for her if there is no chance of her getting better. I am only 28.
We got married November, 2011. By the end of April 2012, she was in a ‘vegetative state’ ( basically a coma, but she opens her eyes sometimes).
I am wondering about the process of getting a divorce in a case like this. I do not want to run away, and will be giving her family as much money as I can to put towards her care.
I do not have a JFRV through her, so I must work. But my job does not pay enough to pay for her full care. And NHI is cutting her off and booting her out of the hospital (not sure where she will go)
If anyone has any idea what I can do, or where I can go to ask questions, please let me know. And will I need to go back to the same Household registration office, or can I go to any?
Very sorry to hear of this. There are no easy solutions obviously. Did she get into a vehicle accident? What is the doctors prognosis? Any chance of recovery?
So sorry to hear of this, OP. My ex husband was hit by a drunk driver three months after we married and his back was broken. Thankfully, he was able to recover with no serious harm to his mobility, but we weren’t sure of that for a while and it was very frightening. I was very nearly the same age you are.
To face this is difficult enough, but to face it in a foreign country where you must work or lose residency is even worse.
You’ll find no judgement from me.
I THINK you’d have to go to the same household registration office, but I’m not sure. Sorry.
I’m not even sure that Taiwanese law offers a legal way to divorce in a situation like this. Hopefuly someone else here can offer more insight into this.
I’m very sorry to hear of this tragic tale, and I wish you the best.
I’d argue that a persistent vegetative state is an incurable serious mental disease… it’s mental in that it’s the very seat of the mind–the brain–that has been compromised.
It’s a tough call.
My father was in a persistent vegetative state and the doctors said he would never recover, let alone wake up.
Then he woke up.
However, the road to (partial) recovery has been long and hard. Even if your wife does wake up, then she more than likely won’t be the same person. She will need to be looked after 24 hours a day, 7 days a week indefinitely. She may not be able to walk or talk ever again.
It’s hell on earth and you can either go through with it or you can’t, and only you know which way you will choose.
I know what it is like to be in your situation now, my mother more so. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.
I can’t offer any practical advice, just a bit of moral support drawing from experience.
I wish you the best and I hope you find the advice you seek.
There are support groups for foreign spouses here in Taiwan. Get some advice from them. You might find people who have the same experience as yours, specially from those south east asian spouses.
Thanks for the support and advice. I guess I will need to go into the Household Registration Office and ask, if I want to know specifics.
housecat- I honestly wish it was something like a car accident. Or even cancer. Then the doctors could at least tell me what’s wrong. They have no idea.
Dasaint- How would I go about finding a support group?
I encourage you not to post too many details about the situation. You may even want to delete some of what you just wrote.
Reason being, if you open up to this community, you will only invite harsh judgment and a bunch of boneheaded statements based on false assumptions about you and your situation. This is what most anyone who posts about something personal on Forumosa (and many other websites I’m sure) will experience. There are a lot of decent people posting on Forumosa, but there are also a lot of people here who lack empathy, and many have poor communication skills. Also, there are a lot of people who feel that once you open up, they are welcome to apply their own values and assumptions to your situation.
[quote=“Tomas”]Horrible situation. You have my sympathy.
I encourage you not to post too many details about the situation. You may even want to delete some of what you just wrote.
Reason being, if you open up to this community, you will only invite harsh judgment and a bunch of boneheaded statements based on false assumptions about you and your situation. This is what most anyone who posts about something personal on Forumosa (and many other websites I’m sure) will experience. [strike]A lot of people[/strike] A sad few here lack empathy and many have poor communication skills. Also, there are [strike]a lot of people[/strike] a couple of dweebs who feel that once you open up, they are welcome to apply their own values and assumptions to your situation.
Best of luck.[/quote]
Fixed that for you.
Otherwise, good advice. I just sent him a PM saying the same thing. Great minds.
Renegade, try getting in touch with these good folks. I am sure they can steer you in the right direction. Good luck. You know at least that J and I have your back. If there’s anything you need, call us.
You quoted me before my more positive edit went through . To be clear, I think there are a lot of helpful people posting on Forumosa. I also think there are a lot of obtuse keyboard cowboys who have never learned the value of empathy, and who communicate in a very insensitive manner. Justification for their behaviour is often based on the faulty premise that once someone posts personal details on a website, they open themselves up to all manner of critical commentary.
I think in this case, as in most cases, the more humane course of action would be to give the OP the benefit of the doubt.
[quote=“renegade11”]Thanks for the support and advice. I guess I will need to go into the Household Registration Office and ask, if I want to know specifics.
housecat- I honestly wish it was something like a car accident. Or even cancer. Then the doctors could at least tell me what’s wrong. They have no idea.
Dasaint- How would I go about finding a support group?
Thanks.[/quote]
Toe has already posted a good place where you can start looking. Don’t want to flood you with too much links. I hope you find the help you’re looking for soon. I have restrained myself in my posts on the subject matter since you were asking for information, not anyone else’s opinion. Good luck!
Just posting re the possibility of obtaining a statutory divorce in this situation:
I asked one of our young attorneys to search the Law Bank and she found no case involving a divorce granted where one spouse is in coma or otherwise in a vegetative state.
However, she indicated that Taiwan courts have stated that if the disease (condition) makes it substantially difficult for the couple to maintain their relationship, such condition/disease constitutes an Article 1052.1.7 situation: One spouse has an incurable serious mental disease (see list of reasons below)
My colleague’s opinion was thus that one could likely be successful in seeking a judicial decree of divorce in this situation.
My colleague also believes that one could probably successfully obtain a divorce based on Article 1052.2, which stipulates that one spouse may apply for a divorce upon the occurrence of a significant event, other than those set forth above (at 1052.1), which makes maintenance of the marriage difficult.
For reference, the statutory reasons for divorce are as follow:
[quote]Taiwan’s Civil Code Article 1052.1 wrote:
Bigamy.
Adultery.
One spouse ill-treats the other so as to render living together intolerable.
One spouse humiliates the linear ascendants of the other spouse such that living together becomes intolerable.
One spouse deserts the other spouse in bad faith.
One spouse has a loathsome incurable disease.
One spouse has an incurable serious mental disease.
One spouse has made an attempt to end the life of the other.
One spouse is uncertain for a period in excess of three years as to whether the other spouse is alive or dead.
One spouse has been sentenced to imprisonment for not less than three years.[/quote]
