‘Do Not Pray’ lists prove popular

its a good job you just said that…

in reply to Surly earlier… You make a good point sir, and one I cannot give a good answer to.[/quote]
Back on the list you go then.

IrishStu -
√ - wee finger prayer
√ - new pony (don’t ask/don’t tell about the old one)

√ - add more funk

TG -
√ - more beer with moments of silent yearning and salty pretzals.

Dr. McCoy -
√ - anti-voodoo non-prick prayer

My wee finger is still sore! What the hell is keeping you guys? Is it cos I used it to do bad things?

Still no sign of the new pony either. Pfft!

And my willy’s still exactly the same size. You guys are crap at praying!

So the prayers are working. Wait 'til the wife finds out. ha

A pony has just materialized in my living room. What am I supposed to do with a damn pony? Please make sure your prayers are properly addressed in future.

Now THAT’s funny. :laughing:

That website is hilarious!! Is it for real??

From a 2005 article:

[quote]OAK RIDGE, Tenn. — Sam Brobst took a “Learning Your Spiritual Gift” course at Full Life Center, a charismatic church, and felt the Lord leading him to prophesy during meetings. But when Brobst opened his mouth the first time, he and others were surprised by what came out: pirate speak.
“We were in the middle of worship, when this voice rings out, ‘Yar! Hear the word of the Lord — the Lord of the mighty seas!’” says one witness. “It was straight out of a Disneyland ride.”
Brobst says he can’t help it: when the Spirit moves upon him, he clamps one eye shut and his voice becomes gravelly and menacing. On a recent Sunday, he prophesied, “Avast ye, mateys! Hear the word from our Cap’n: No fear have ye of storms and scallywags, says ye? Argh! But I be seein’ your true hearts. For I see below quarterdecks, says I. Ye be tremblin’ in the face of scurvy dogs. But pay them no heed. For I be preparin’ to pour down plenty o’ booty upon ye. So be of cheer, me hearties! Ye be loved of the Cap’n.”
The people of the church by now are accustomed to it, though first-time visitors often giggle.
“It doesn’t even sound like pirate to me anymore,” says one regular attendee. “My mind translates it.”
Others say it’s preferable to past prophetic styles they have witnessed.
“One woman would wail her prophecies,” says longtime member Darlene Bright. “Another man would thunder in a deep voice like he was trying to impress us. All in all, I prefer pirate.” [/quote]

Braxtonhicks -

heh heh heh…:smiley:

I suppose I would have to enquire carefully why ANY folk of ANY religion wanted to pray for me.
If they were truly concerned about my well-being {spiritual or otherwise} as I was about to enter a world of shite, then I would be grateful and try to return their sentiment in my own fashion.
That said, if some zealot of any faith, prayed solely for the purpose of returning me & my soul to their version of the correct path, i’d screw right out from underneath that driver.

I think Johnny Cash said something like that once, yet far more short & sharpish!

Hey, if some fundie wants to pray for me, let them. All it does is waste their time, and I can continue my sinning in peace.

Christians are called to be salt and light. You know, salty, like savory–like salty fried chicken. Also, what Sandman said about worth thier salt.

This is where so many Christians mess up. Y’all know I’m Christian, but I hate to see Christians telling someone they’re going to hell. God says, very clearly, that HE is the judge and He decides your eternity. If someone has questions, I’ll anser to the best of my ability, but I think it’s wrong to try to force any belief on anyone else. Even I won’t eat salty fried chicken if you try to shove it down my throate!

Unless they’re praying in your face, they are keeping their prayers to themselves. This is just lunacy:

How is it a ‘violation’? What is it ‘violating’? :loco:

Edit: Ah, the original article is a satire, now I get it.

Hey, if someone wants to pray for me, it’s their time and effort they’re wasting, not mine.

EDIT: I see. This is an old article, and I already made a similar statement above… :blush: