this is what I just heard from a guy yesterday. he is quite young but already married to a Taiwanese wife and has a pretty daughter. he says he still enjoys hanging out with his friends as much as he did before marriage. he is a good father and a good husband at hime but if his wife is trying to find out what he is doing, she would probably feel down
I don’t quite understand what he means but it sounds like he is telling me that men can still do what they want after marriage, women shouldn’t bother and they will go home eventually
Well, I don’t see why he would have to keep the fact that he is hanging out with friends from his wife at all. He’s married and has a child, and you’ve mentioned that he more than fulfills his obligations in regard to both of these; none of this precludes going out with his buddies once in a while.
[quote=“sugar cane”]this is what I just heard from a guy yesterday. he is quite young but already married to a Taiwanese wife and has a pretty daughter. he says he still enjoys hanging out with his friends as much as he did before marriage. he is a good father and a good husband at hime but if his wife is trying to find out what he is doing, she would probably feel down
I don’t quite understand what he means but it sounds like he is telling me that men can still do what they want after marriage, women shouldn’t bother and they will go home eventually[/quote]
Maybe he thinks she would feel “down” because he’s not doing anything she would diasgree with, aside from sitting around drinking brewskies with his buds and shooting the shit.
It’s a shame that people/wives still assume that “spending a night out with the boys” results in drunken tattooed whorefests.
[quote=“sugar cane”]this is what I just heard from a guy yesterday. he is quite young but already married to a Taiwanese wife and has a pretty daughter. he says he still enjoys hanging out with his friends as much as he did before marriage. he is a good father and a good husband at hime but if his wife is trying to find out what he is doing, she would probably feel down
I don’t quite understand what he means but it sounds like he is telling me that men can still do what they want after marriage, women shouldn’t bother and they will go home eventually[/quote]
I think he said she would feel “let down” which means she would be disappointed because he was not doing anything bad. This is how we express that in English. In essence he is saying his wife expects to find him doing bad things but she will feel let down or disappointed when she discovers the truth: because the truth is that he is doing nothing wrong. Of course the expression is a bit sarcastic because the wife should hopefully feel relieved to know that her hisband is up to nothing. But the meanly curious side of her may feel disappointed.
Many women have trouble accepting the fact that their menfolk prefer spending time boozing with the lads.
And for foreign/Taiwanese couples there is often friction over the limits of privacy. For example, whether it is okay to go through your partner’s wallet, phone records, and e-mails.
My experience is that Taiwanese women are taught from an early age that all men are philandering pigs. Many of the men they know do little to change this view. A Taiwanese wife expects that her husband will cheat on her. What she hopes for is that he doesn’t spend the family savings on his girlfriend and (more importantly) doesn’t rub her face in it.
Therefore, it’s okay (and even expected) to cheat on your wife as long as you don’t get caught or (heaven forbid) insult her by confessing. My wife will ask twice a week if I’m having an affair but then make it clear that if I am I’d better not tell her. :loco:
You could say it’s a self-perpetuating cycle since guys will cheat because they’re already considered guilty. If you’ve been sentenced for the crime you may as well go commit it…
As a foreigner a guy may be exempt from some of this deep programed nonsense, but I think a little of that inbred distrust is always going to be there.
How is a woman not to be insecure in a culture where if the woman is cheated on she is called stupid for letting it happen and he is called cool for getting the extra action. Women here are suspicious because they look like and are treated like such fools if the man strays. Here they are still treated like it is thier job to keep him at home and thier fault if he goes elsewhere.
How is a woman not to be insecure in a culture where if the woman is cheated on she is called stupid for letting it happen and he is called cool for getting the extra action. Women here are suspicious because they look like and are treated like such fools if the man strays. Here they are still treated like it is thier job to keep him at home and thier fault if he goes elsewhere.[/quote]
Yeah, well, you know, if a woman let’s herself slide…
[quote=“almas john”]Many women have trouble accepting the fact that their menfolk prefer spending time boozing with the lads.
And for foreign/Taiwanese couples there is often friction over the limits of privacy. For example, whether it is okay to go through your partner’s wallet, phone records, and e-mails. [/quote]AJ -
Amen to this.
And don’t forget any thought of privacy in the bathroom, the final frontier of refuge…
Ladies, don’t worry not all guys will cheat. However, I can tell you that guys can’t stand the interrogations. The more you do this the more guys will avoid talking to you. ie come home when your sleeping or not home. A Taiwan girl who I consider to be quite modern told me that she understands guys need a release and that she just doesn’t want to know about it.
Her only issues were that the guy be safe about it and keep it purely physical. Wow.
[quote=“LDEML”]A Taiwan girl who I consider to be quite modern told me that she understands guys need a release and that she just doesn’t want to know about it.
Her only issues were that the guy be safe about it and keep it purely physical. Wow.[/quote]A friend of mine used to go on frequent business trips that would keep him out of the country for up to a month at a time. His (live-in) girlfriend (now wife) would quietly slip a dozen condoms into his suitcase before he left. Being the clever guy he is, he would avoid the whole interrogation/interpretation thing by removing all of them before returning, whether or not he’d used up the quota. AFAIK they never discussed this.
i think it’s safe to say we’re living in the right country[/quote]
You think so? I don’t. I would never cheat on my wife (someone please shoot me if I ever change). However, being loyal here is not appreciated, since it seems that no matter how trustworthy you are, it is assumed you will eventually cheat, and this strangles your freedom to the point where it is painful.
Just going out for a quiet drink with a mate becomes a very complicated arrangement.
Yes, and why wouldn’t they be?
From what I’ve seen and heard (oh dear oh dear, they actually scream like the yellow movies girls!) I totally understand, why taiwanese women distrust their guys…
Especially if they go on business trips to China!
Also - this is just another question in the same category I guess, WHY is it that a married man need to have condoms in his wallet. My bf dosen’t have, but we’ve talked about this, and many of his married friends have and I don’t really understand the need for it if you already have a woman (your wife/steady gf) in your bed??? Unless you always think there is a potential of being unfaithful and therefor need protection…no…???
Personally I think it’s okay for guys to hang out with their friends, get some good laughs, look at the young girls at the bar, getting drunk and come home early - as long as we (women) can do the same!
(-I would if I had some friend here…boohooo, hah)
[/quote]AJ -