Compared to Westerners, I feel that Taiwanese would rather avoid solving interpersonal relationships as opposed to dealing with the problem directly.
Also, I feel that Taiwanese people take constructive criticism personally.
Compared to Westerners, I feel that Taiwanese would rather avoid solving interpersonal relationships as opposed to dealing with the problem directly.
Also, I feel that Taiwanese people take constructive criticism personally.
Absolutely terrible skills.
Conflict is something to run away from at all costsā¦even mentioning it can turn you into 'the bad guyā¦ the troublemaker '.
Not everybody . But common issue .
Yes, but you can say that about all East Asians to varying degrees, not just Taiwan. High-context cultures tend to avoid direct conflicts.
The problem is that if you donāt solve conflicts, youāll end up with far worse problems later on. You can only keep your emotions under control for so long.
I donāt disagree. Thatās why my wife and I always talk out every argument we have. But the reality is East Asians find direct communication difficult.
I feel that East Asiansā approach to this matter also creates emotional immaturity because you donāt learn how to resolve things in a constructive manner. The culture inadvertently creates immaturity.
I think, more broadly, a lot of Taiwanese people do not learn to manage or talk about their emotions well. I donāt think it necessarily creates emotional immaturity, but it does result in a lot of emotionally constipated individuals who might occasionally act out in childish ways.
For the older generation especially, the hierarchy of age also hinders direct communication. My mom always seems to have trouble communicating her needs to her own older sister, even though they have a close relationship, because sheās so used to being āthe small oneā and her sister is also used to treating her as a younger sibling instead of as an equal.
Thatās the meaning of emotional immaturity right?
I donāt think so, but we might have different definitions of what constitutes emotional immaturity. I know plenty of people who are empathetic, responsible, able to admit when theyāre wrong, and so on, which I consider signs of someone who is emotionally mature. But they are also just kind of out of touch with themselves in some way.
because itās culturally taboo to discuss/share emotions?
No, that isnāt it at all. Itās more the case that one should not express oneās emotions in a manner which will cause offence to people who matter (ie., people with higher social status, which may also include parents, elder siblings, etc). So people tend to bottle it up if - for example - older brother has done something to annoy them, but older brother will tell younger brother in no uncertain terms if heās done something he (in older brotherās opinion) should not. And younger brother will feel pressured to nod and agree. Thatās a bit of an oversimplification - siblings in Taiwan are capable of having healthy disagreements - but itās definitely skewed by hierarchy considerations.
bottle it up
This is a key phrase here. Even otherwise smart and emotionally intelligent Taiwanese people feel pressure to repress and suppress, especially to protect the feelings of someone they love.
For the older generation especially, the hierarchy of age also hinders direct communication
I notice this a lot. My mother in law gets absolutely BTFO by her family because sheās the youngest and not a male. She has some serious emotional issues she needs to resolve with her bros and dad, but I doubt that will ever happen.
Do you think this is changing with the younger generations?
but itās definitely skewed by hierarchy considerations.
Confucianism messed things up?
Same situation for my mom. Even though she is extremely capable and absolutely without question the main cog that makes the whole thing run, her hands are tied because she is the runt of the family.
Do you think this is changing with the younger generations?
I really donāt know. I would like to say yes simply on the basis that my cousins and I have healthier relationships with each other and are able to communicate more effectively than our parents do, but I donāt have enough data.
Confucianism messed things up?
As usual. I can tie just about every single one of my familyās interpersonal problems back to shitty, outdated Confucian values.
Compared to Westerners, I feel that Taiwanese would rather avoid solving interpersonal relationships as opposed to dealing with the problem directly.
Also, I feel that Taiwanese people take constructive criticism personally.
hi @bubbletea1
what brings you to Taiwan?
They have excellent conflict resolution skills as long as long as the resolution is doing what they want you to do.
Conflict is resolved by authority. Prob better to say theyre not interested in compromise and wonāt unless something compels them to.
Dunno. I think it would be more accurate to say the Chinese messed up Confucianism, which in its present form only has a nodding acquaintance with Confuciusās (åå) ideas. For example, meritocracy was a core idea (and an incredibly radical one at the time), but as Confucianism was co-opted for political ends, that aspect was replaced with good old-fashioned blind obedience to authority.
Compared to Westerners, I feel that Taiwanese would rather avoid solving interpersonal relationships as opposed to dealing with the problem directly.
Also, I feel that Taiwanese people take constructive criticism personally.
Some do, some donāt. I havenāt met but a tiny percentage of Taiwanās population in my time here so canāt say anymore than that.
Iād rather not discuss it.