When rowing with the Mrs during a certain weekend of the month, I get accused of being childish. I dunno where that comes from considering every penny I earn goes towards the house, savings and all that. Plus I clean, cook and generally do everything and more thats expected of me and, as most of you who know me socially know, I rarely drink.
Am I missing something in the nuance of language here? Does “childish” in Chinese have extra meanings? Or is she aiming to propagate a fight cos she just wants a bit of needless conflict? (which I won’t rise to, but that pisses her off more. Oh the hilarity!!!)
[quote=“Funk500”]I need some clarification here on something.
When rowing with the Mrs during a certain weekend of the month, I get accused of being childish. I dunno where that comes from considering every penny I earn goes towards the house, savings and all that. Plus I clean, cook and generally do everything and more thats expected of me and, as most of you who know me socially know, I rarely drink.
Am I missing something in the nuance of language here? Does “childish” in Chinese have extra meanings? Or is she aiming to propagate a fight cos she just wants a bit of needless conflict? (which I won’t rise to, but that pisses her off more. Oh the hilarity!!!)[/quote]
Was she speaking English or Mandarin? If Mandarin, what was the exact wording she used, and what was the context?
I think ‘childish’ simply means: it’s complex and you don’t understand.
OK. Dangerous tactic here, and we may have to start calling you ‘One Eared Funk’ from after, but why not just stand up to it a bit? I don’t suffer from (those) ladies problems nowadays, but I know that restless, frustrated, everything gets on my nerves feeling. I definitely start it more if there’s an easy target with no consequences for me. You don’t have to be aggressive or mean. Just say ‘be unhappy then: there’s clearly nothing I can do to help. I’m off to enjoy my weekend.’. She’ll break stuff the first time you do it, but at some point she’ll just start to chill out and work out ways to deal with it.
At the moment, you’re validating it by getting involved (staying to listen is getting involved).
She may be having problems expressing herself appropriately/assertively in other areas of her life, so it’s easier to externalise the bad feelings she has as a symptom. Is her boss a bully and she can’t respond to him? Maybe her parents? Maybe she needs confidence to be more assertive elsewhere. Obviously that doesn’t develop overnight, but maybe you can encourage her to express herself more? You could look on it as a compliment that she feels safe enough to push it with you.
Tell her how you feel (on days 10-20 of her cycle…)
Sorry if this sounds patronising or doesn’t fit the situ.
Why not just ask her what she means by that? Ask her to explain? If my husband called me ‘childish,’ I’d be asking him to explain why he called me that.
Why, because she wouldn’t talk to you, or because she couldn’t explain what she meant? If she won’t talk to you, then maybe she realizes that she said something stupid and doesn’t know how to own up to it…
You may be onto something, and if you’re right I’d love to hear what you learn. My ex-husband used to talk about “childishness” in ways that I didn’t understand, too, and “not qualified.” I never understood the “not qualified” but, but it always seemed to mean “childish,” to me, whatever that means . . . .
was it just isolated to that certain weekend or has she mentioned it before too?? try to remember what you did over that weekend which made her call you " childish "…we will have to join the dots…
don’t ask her to explain…if she wanted to explain she would have done it already…
if you can give us all the details then maybe we can figure out why exactly she called you childish…
I too get the " childish " word thrown at me quite often but she says it in Chinese so there are many meanings to it…don’t know why your better half called you childish in English??