[quote=“TomHill”]
Plus I’d like to add for the record that some men are more than capable of having platonic freindships with women that aren’t at all about the sexy time thoughts. I can also think a girl is sexy without wanting to have sex with her. It’s called having a dick AND a brain.[/quote]
Sure, men are capable of doing that, of course. But the issue at hand is really if you would text someone you just met saying that she’s sexy and stunning if all you were interested in was her personality? Come on.
Please don’t do that! Don’t give your power away to stereotypes and being childish. Really, it makes you sound like an idiot.
About the other point - I have squillions of platonic male friends. Of course, they might just all think I’m ugly, but they are still my pals. It may be a maturity thing - guys (and women) who are assured enough to say ‘I like you, let’s hang out’, without it being a ‘does he fancy me, does she fancy me’ drama.
[quote=“Buttercup”][quote=“TomHill”]Why you acting so naive when you already have two American guys on the hop? What does ‘I had my gf with me,’ mean?
Plus I’d like to add for the record that some men are more than capable of having platonic freindships with women that aren’t at all about the sexy time thoughts. I can also think a girl is sexy without wanting to have sex with her. It’s called having a dick AND a brain.[/quote]
Rarer than hen’s teeth, TH.
[/quote]
I do it as well. Its not that rare at all, I don’t think.
[quote=“lupillus”][quote=“TomHill”]
Plus I’d like to add for the record that some men are more than capable of having platonic freindships with women that aren’t at all about the sexy time thoughts. I can also think a girl is sexy without wanting to have sex with her. It’s called having a dick AND a brain.[/quote]
Sure, men are capable of doing that, of course. But the issue at hand is really if you would text someone you just met saying that she’s sexy and stunning if all you were interested in was her personality? Come on.[/quote]
Well clearly not. It would be weird to do so if you didn’t want to make sticky with her. Therefore I have tried to open this into a larger, more mass debate.
I have a female brain too (sometimes thats all I think bout?? haha). But no seriously. Can one have a completely platonic relationship with the opposite sex?? OF course one can. Does one WANT TO? Thats the question.
And sometimes one does. Othertimes, one doesnt want to bother if one does.
Please don’t do that! Don’t give your power away to stereotypes and being childish. Really, it makes you sound like an idiot.
About the other point - I have squillions of platonic male friends. Of course, they might just all think I’m ugly, but they are still my pals. It may be a maturity thing - guys (and women) who are assured enough to say ‘I like you, let’s hang out’, without it being a ‘does he fancy me, does she fancy me’ drama.[/quote]
I agree with the maturity point. Frankly speaking, I don’t consider myself very mature when it comes to male-female friendships. I’d like to think that I’m attracted to inner beauty, but I guess I’m still a bit shallow and look at the cover first and then decide if the book is worth reading. Probably should look into that.
Please don’t do that! Don’t give your power away to stereotypes and being childish. Really, it makes you sound like an idiot.
About the other point - I have squillions of platonic male friends. Of course, they might just all think I’m ugly, but they are still my pals. It may be a maturity thing - guys (and women) who are assured enough to say ‘I like you, let’s hang out’, without it being a ‘does he fancy me, does she fancy me’ drama.[/quote]
I agree with the maturity point. Frankly speaking, I don’t consider myself very mature when it comes to male-female friendships. I’d like to think that I’m attracted to inner beauty, but I guess I’m still a bit shallow and look at the cover first and then decide if the book is worth reading. Probably should look into that.[/quote]
Well, you’re limiting yourself, and your range of experiences. There’s many a boy that’s a minger that is great fun and /or interesting.
Recognizing the problem is the first step to change. [strike]At least thats what they told me at Narcotics anonymous.[/strike]
There are distinct differences between making love (emotional) , having sex (functional) and fucking (hormonal), and I’m over/ not interested in trying to fuck random girls/ my female friends, and categorizing them into “Would fuck, Wouldn’t fuck.” Now girls are either interesting or not interesting people. I am still aware of attractiveness, (Holly Willoughby still gives me an odd feeling inside) which is subjective of course, but I just don’t place that much importance on it, maybe through laziness, or maybe through genuine maturity. I’d bank on the first guess myself.
[quote=“TomHill”]Why you acting so naive when you already have two American guys on the hop? What does ‘I had my gf with me,’ mean?
[/quote]
my gf= my female friend.
to be honest, I have no idea why these two american boys are still waiting my return. One is my BF I am trying to break up with in the past year and that’s why I took a job in Asia last April. We didnt see each other for 5 months. Another one is my ex who refused to leave me alone and has been on/off with me in the past 10 months.
And yes. at one point, I was dating these two guys at the same time and they both knew it.
[quote=“mimicupcake”][quote=“TomHill”]Why you acting so naive when you already have two American guys on the hop? What does ‘I had my gf with me,’ mean?
[/quote]
my gf= my female friend.
to be honest, I have no idea why these two American boys are still waiting my return. [/quote]
Ah - well most English-speakers would misunderstand ‘my gf’. Makes you sound a bit mad, to be honest, to be out with two guys and a ‘gf’.
You have boundary problems. You are obsessing over what a bunch of strangers want. You can’t leave your boyfriend, and you let yourself be stalked. You actually moved continents to avoid effectively blowing someone out?
Forget the lot of them, and go and do something interesting with your life! And be less of a wimp!
[quote=“rocky raccoon”]
…don’t be surprised if he gets a little annoyed and accuses you of leading him on.[/quote]
My friends said Im a likable girl and really easygoing. I know Cali guy really likes me and wants to get to know me more. He also knew that he is pushing his luck on me and this is the only chance for him to know if he has a shot.
Or he might run away after spending half-day with me in Boston. hehe :discodance:
[quote=“Buttercup”]Ah - well most English-speakers would misunderstand ‘my gf’. Makes you sound a bit mad, to be honest, to be out with two guys and a ‘gf’.
You have boundary problems. You are obsessing over what a bunch of strangers want. You can’t leave your boyfriend, and you let yourself be stalked. You actually moved continents to avoid effectively blowing someone out?
Forget the lot of them, and go and do something interesting with your life! And be less of a wimp![/quote]
That’s right. Im a BIG wimp when it comes to boys. I dont know what to do when they cry in front of me.
I am not with my bf for over a year and I want to make sure he won’t hurt himself or me. I care about him as a really good friend and he knew it. And of course, he is afraid of me being back is to break up with him “officially”.
and the other boy is another long story…I dont even know what to start.
So yeah…my love life is boring/drama/complicated and I cant blame anyone but myself.
So yeah…my love life is boring/drama/complicated and I cant blame anyone but myself.[/quote]
Do you have a plan to extricate yourself from this pit of teenage hell, or are you just enjoying the ride?[/quote]
well, you dont know me well yet. But trust me, Im not a drama queen and Im not trying to get boys attention coz I didnt solve my 2men problems yet.
But I do have HUGE problem saying NO to my love ones. My bf told me that he knew Im in love with someone and he doesnt care coz he believes I will be back someday when Im tired. And my other boy said he doesnt know how to deal with me coz he cant function normally when Im gone.
(Isnt this post supposed to talking abt Cali boy, not abt my life?!..I think someone needs to tell Cali guy to stay AWAY from me)
Of course, I will be 100% HONEST with him if he asks. I mean we only hung out ONCE and we are not even friends. We barely know each other…
or
I will tell him my annoying love stories and how terrible woman I might be if he falls for me when I pick him up at the airport…seriously, I dont even remember his last name…
He is an adult and he knows what risks he is taking. (Is he on this forum also??!!!)
heheheheh yes Mimi. Before you ask about what the other guy feels, can you answer, (to yourself) whether you have a crush on him or you just want to get lucky. That will provide a lot of answers!!!
But trust me, Im not a drama queen and Im not trying to get boys attention because I didnt solve my 2men problems yet.[/quote]
Of course I don’t know you, but reread your statement above and see if it still rings true.
[quote=“mimicupcake”]
(Isnt this post supposed to talking abt Cali boy, not abt my life?!..I think someone needs to tell Cali guy to stay AWAY from me)[/quote]
Okay, if you want to get back on topic then I think you’re playing with Cali boys emotions. Unintentional? I don’t believe so. Remember that while you admit to meeting him only ONCE, it wasn’t just a brief encounter in the bookstore. You guys were out clubbing till the late hours of the morning, obvious flirting occurred (he confessed his attraction), and you agreed to pick him up at the airport.
You say platonic, but from what you wrote I can assure you that he’s not going into it with the same frame of mind.
Try and look at it from the other side and you might see how confusing the entire story really is.
I can’t see what the problem is. If you’re uncomfortable with the guy coming to visit you just send him an email/txt saying that you’re sorry but won’t be able to see him when he comes to Boston. He should get the point, and you won’t hear from him again.
