Maybe she doesn’t know how to teach, can’t teach, because it’s simply not in her.
Take my wife for instance. Much as I love her, and much as she’s got lots of terrific skills and abilities, she’s a lousy teacher. All those idiots who say “oh, your wife’s Chinese (sic.), long-haired dictionary, no wonder you speak Chinese,” don’t know what the hell they’re talking about. Some people are natural teachers, some are not. My wife isn’t.
“What? What are you trying to say? I don’t understand you at all. Your tones are all wrong. It pisses me off when you screw around like that. Why don’t you take it seriously? It just doesn’t make any sense. I don’t know what you’re trying to say, etc.”
We’ve been together 7 years and I’m finally making a little progress in getting her to work with me a little more at times, but she’s simply not cut out to be a teacher. I don’t mean that as an insult; it’s just one of infinite potential skills in the universe that she does not excel at. Lacks the patience, empathy and understanding. Oh well.
Perhaps yours feels the same way. Don’t push her to do what she doesn’t like/want/know. Get a tutor and then spend time with you gf doing stuff you would both like to do together.
Oh, and if it’s a case of falling head over heels because there are few asians where you live and she’s the only or one of the only asian women you’ve known then. . . . . . be careful, she’s just a person, with strengths and weaknesses the same as anyone else and, if you really think asian women are hot then GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE, because there are millions of asian women over here and some may be (will be) HOTTER than yours! Please don’t take that the wrong way. It’s not meant as an insult. Just saying, make sure your eyes are fully open and for a real asian experience there’s nothing like asia.
Crazy to give up your chosen career to come teach in a cram school. You have no idea until you actually come live here, what this girl is made of. She sounds like the typical ‘I only care about myself’ Taiwanese. There are exceptions, and this is where you should be focusing your energy.
The girls I have met here, seem to prefer someone that actually takes the time and energy to learn Chinese. She should be happy that you are making such an insane effort to make this work. If she is this way now, what will she be like in a few years?
Once you arrive ,you will see there are many girls.
To your original question, “Does she respect me?” Obviously not, and part of that is your own damn fault.
[quote=“Homey”]She sounds like the typical ‘I only care about myself’ woman. There are exceptions, and this is where you should be focusing your energy.[/quote] Fixed.
This is a huge risk - to give up a career in the health sciences to become an English teacher. Are you certain you will be fulfilled by your job? Have you been a teacher before? Have you taught English in a cram school before? You will be doing this for 40 years. Will this fulfill you?
Depending on what you do, you may feel grossly overqualified for your job (think about it) and that’s a hard feeling to shake off.
To answer your question, dont try and learn chinese off your g/f it just doesn’t work. If her english is way better than your chinese which it most likely is, she will have no patience for speaking to you in chinese. ie It just wont make sense to her, to try and have a discussion in chinese when she could be properly communicating with you discussing real things in english.
And yes if you have never lived in asia you seriously need to move to somewhere like taiwan and live there for a while before you make serious life changing decisions like that. Can you organise some sort of exchange program? or can you take a year off university and go teach english?
[quote=“KaiXi333”][quote=“tommy525”]
But yes, the TW girls who contemplate you as a mate do let their parents know usually. But there are no rule books in love. [/quote]
Right… and this poor sap is looking for commitment from her. He’s practically cahnged the entire course of his life.
Achtung![/quote]
So right really , get your career in gear, make MONEY. The girls follow the money. YOU got lots of money you dont ever have to worry about the honey. DO everything to follow your one true love (like I did) and you will still be paying for it (aussi moi).
IF i could do it all again, in very few cases would i choose the same partners (maybe in no case).
Not saying your present case is entirely hopeless and without merit. Rather get her to follow YOU while YOU get YOUR career in gear for money making for the next coupla decades. Your honey is going to go with someone else with MONEY if you dont make enough. Sad but true.
THe ones that will make money for YOU , are the ones that have been chasing YOU from the beginning, not the other way round.
The long-haired dictionary force multiplier only kicks in under two circumstances. One, you’re a single person merrily meeting mobs of young fillies with limited or no English and having a host of different if broken post-coital conversations. Perfect for rocketing your Chinese from book one in Shida to basic taxi Chinese. That said, quite a few people master a pretty reasonable level of spoken Chinese this way, and since they’re learning phrases they hear, as opposed to patterns taught in text books, often sound like their Chinese is way better than it actually is.
The effect from your missus, or mister, to be fair, only happens when you’ve already attained a reasonably high level of Chinese and you start picking up nuances and new phrases in casual, not forced, conversation. Until you can hold down a conversation in reasonably comfortable and unbroken Chinese, you need classes and a proper teacher.
As to the OP’s question - Does she respect me or is she just very easy going? - well a simple rule of thumb, I think, is if you need to go on an online forum asking strangers if they think your woman respects you, it’s probably wise not to re-gear your life for her just yet.
I would also be doing more research on what teaching English is all about in Taiwan. From what I read here, salaries don’t appear to have risen a penny since I first tried my hand at teaching in Taiwan 15 years ago. Unfortunately too, there are Taiwanese that don’t view English teaching as a respectable job, no matter how good at it you are, or how how qualified or otherwise you are back in your old world.
[quote=“Mother Theresa”]No offense intended, but you call that a man?
Changing his major and career plans and busting his butt to learn Chinese for her. . . :loco:[/quote]
Yea, I guess that’s not a man, but rather a very large romantic gesture. On the surface it looks really nice but it’s not sustainable in the long run, for either party.
If you are doing a degree course, you don’t have to change to teaching to teach in Taiwan. And, not all teaching diplomas allow you teach legally in Taiwan. A number of people on this forum can tell you if your original course would let you teach legally here. All the teachers I respected back home told me to study something else before becoming a teacher, as it gives you a wider life perspective and leaves many more doors open should you later wish to change careers.
As to teaching one’s boyfriend, even as a teacher, it would have driven me kind of crazy to have to teach my partner English three days a week. I’m always happy to help out with specific questions or check English documents when needed, but our relationship is not “Teacher-Student”. And, I have never asked him to sit down and teach me Chinese. I can just imagine the damage to our relationship if we had tried to do that - a few words at a time as they come up is enough!
Nobody’s gonna convince you not to come to Taiwan. You’re in love.
But I’d feel much more comfortable if you could keep your options open. Think of teaching in Taiwan as a one year gig. A year to experience the country and the horrors of cram schools. And a year to see what happens in your relationship. See what she’s lke in her own country. Maybe it all works out well. But if it doesn’t, you can still go back - having learned a helluva lot - and study what you had originally had your heart set on.
I’m not sure you know each other well enough yet (you yourself are asking our help to understand her, after all) to be making plans for the rest of your lives. Slow down. Relax. And give it a year. Don’t let romance destroy you. Enjoy being with her in Taiwan and just see what happens. Make life decisions after checking things out.
If you are doing a degree course, you don’t have to change to teaching to teach in Taiwan. And, not all teaching diplomas allow you teach legally in Taiwan. A number of people on this forum can tell you if your original course would let you teach legally here. All the teachers I respected back home told me to study something else before becoming a teacher, as it gives you a wider life perspective and leaves many more doors open should you later wish to change careers.
As to teaching one’s boyfriend, even as a teacher, it would have driven me kind of crazy to have to teach my partner English three days a week. I’m always happy to help out with specific questions or check English documents when needed, but our relationship is not “Teacher-Student”. And, I have never asked him to sit down and teach me Chinese. I can just imagine the damage to our relationship if we had tried to do that - a few words at a time as they come up is enough![/quote]
Solid advice
The heart and the brain has to go together; one can’t survive with only either; eg decapitated, one dies, a massive heart attack is also a sure bucket kicker. Dropping one’s major for romance’s sake is a very very drastic move, and the fact that your lady friend even allows this is a little baffling.Think twice, thrice, no, yeah, I actually meant to say, DON’T DO IT.
. . . be careful, she’s just a person, with strengths and weaknesses the same as anyone else and, if you really think asian women are hot then GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE, because there are millions of asian women over here and some may be (will be) HOTTER than yours! Please don’t take that the wrong way. It’s not meant as an insult. Just saying, make sure your eyes are fully open and for a real asian experience there’s nothing like asia.