Does Talking to Your Plants Help?
0 voters
I have tried everything… beating them, fertilizing, sending them to the corner without food or water but they still lose leaves. Is it time to have a serious “talking to” with my plants? Any help would be most appreciated…
Apparently it does. Japanese often talk to their plants and even massage fruit to make them bigger. I’ve seen mangoes for sale in Okinawa for $100USD each.
Perhaps the plants only understand Japanese… I suggest you try that. Otherwise, maybe since the plants were born in Taiwan, they only understand Chinese, and your American accent is annoying them.
You need to be at ‘eye-level’ and pretty close so that your breath (CO2) reaches the plants … it needs that to grow and shine … 
Let the bastard plants die; they would only contribute to Global Cooling if allowed to live and grow.
Maybe they’re democrat plants.
You see, torture will not get the subject to co-operate. You must use the pretend-coddle technique. Be nice to the subject and try to befriend it with frequent conversations. Eventually, the subject will trust you and will open up and co-operate.
I think that you may be onto something. They are “potted” as well as doing nothing all day. They require a hard-working Republican to pay for their upkeep, feed, water, them etc. ensure that their medical needs are taken care of. How does one therefore deal with Democrat plants that are welfare-dependent? I suppose I could threaten to kick them out of the house and suggest that I am going to let them fend for themselves OUT THERE in the REAL WORLD. Would that help?
Don’t call them turgid pestilential platitudes of posturing sophomores, most plants have a larger vocabulary than me and they might know what that means and get offended.
I had a very unsatisfied plant … it jumped off the table trying to escape … now it’s dead … dumb move
Mythbusters’ episode about talking (nice or nasty) and playing music (classical or metal) to plants.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6609068041106073533
Too much fertilizer.
QUIT talking to them.
Or water the regularly. I get sloppy sometimes with mine… let 'em go a few days too many. They wilt. They drop leaves. They start inching closer to the edge of the balcony.
Then I give them a good watering and they go nuts. “Water! Water! Thank you, master, thank you!” Ka-BLOOM!
I think that you may be onto something. They are “potted” as well as doing nothing all day. They require a hard-working Republican to pay for their upkeep, feed, water, them etc. ensure that their medical needs are taken care of. How does one therefore deal with Democrat plants that are welfare-dependent? I suppose I could threaten to kick them out of the house and suggest that I am going to let them fend for themselves OUT THERE in the REAL WORLD. Would that help?[/quote]
A welfare to work program may work. But then that would require more funds to support the transition.
Perhaps you can just leave the radio on, playing classical music. Or your internet radio on Bill O’Rilley/Fox station. That way you can get the subliminal message of self reliance into it’s membrane.
the most common problem people have with houseplants is overwatering them. just because they look bad doesn’t necessarily mean they need water. even though most houseplants are tropical in origin (were they are used to lots of water), a potted plant doesn’t have the drainage a plant in the ground does.
some plants just go dormant for a while-especially this time of year.
one should not fertilize plants during their dormancy or after transplanting either.
try looking at the plants location. some like direct sun, some like indirect sun, some like shade.
test your soil. if it’s hard and compacted try repotting them with new soil.
test your soil ph. some like it basic, some acidic.
research your specific types on google.
also, no leaf lasts forever. plants lose their leaves naturally each year or so.
don’t just jump to watering to fix a sick plant because you might just be overwatering and will kill it.
different plants like different conditions of sun, soil type, nutrients, ph, and temperature.
read some books or google houseplants.
best of luck.
jm
If you’re going to engage Fred Smith in a discussion, you are only a small step away from talking to plants anyway, so go for it! 
And that is just about right…
Now, what did you want to talk to me about?
Maybe we should re-pot you; you seem to be leaning too far to the right.
I sing to mine and kiss their leaves. My ficus back home survived a strong wind blowing a heavy storm window onto it. I can’t vouch for mythbusters, but my wandering jew outlived all the other plants that were given away the same year and it was twice the size of the ones that made it through the first year.
This morning, one of my plants told me that it was into pot, while another is thinking about moving out to San Francisco to learn how to play the guitar and just live, man, just live… Where have I failed? Was I away traveling on business too much? wining and dining with my friends too often during those crucial plant personality forming years? Is it too late to re-establish a relationship with my plants? What should I do?
They don’t like bullshit … well, they do actually as fertilizer but not in a verbal form …
[quote=“Notsu”]Mythbusters’ episode about talking (nice or nasty) and playing music (classical or metal) to plants.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6609068041106073533[/quote]
I think part of the talking to has something to do with the energy that get projected from a person while talking. So just playing a recording isn’t enough to simulate that (IMO.)
