Does your Taiwanese girlfriend often say to you, "I wish you were rich"?

Thanks guys and girls for all the replies. In retrospect I may have been a little harsh on my girlfriend in my initial post and the reason for that maybe that we had an argument yesterday and I guess I just really felt like complaining about her. I think what she really wants from me is some sort of assurance that we can live a financially comfortable life together. I don’t think she really desires to be filthy rich but it seems like she wants to be wealthy enough that she doesn’t have to worry so much about her daily expenses. I think that is a pretty normal concern but I guess its just something I don’t really worry about so much at the moment. I think she is alot more concerned about the future than I am. I guess I pretty much think within a short term future while it seems she has the grand master plan for her entire life already mapped out. I think quite alot of her concern stems from the fact that her parents do not approve of our relationship, in fact our relationship is at the present time a secret to them. She told them initially that we were together but because her mother especially, is so “traditional” in her views and suspicious of Westerners in general the only realistic way we could continue to see each other was if we kept it a secret from her parents. She plans to tell them once I have learnt to speak enough Mandarin but I think that is going to take a while yet. Her parents don’t speak any english at all and my Mandarin is very poor so I think I would have a hard time making a good impression on them when they already hold prejudiced views against Westerners. I guess in some ways I do feel sorry for my girlfriend because she has to try to convince her parents and especially her mother that I would be a good boyfriend. My girlfriend has told me before that her mother has actually said to her that she should try to find a rich boyfriend so that she would be able to lead an easier life. So I think my girlfriend is understandbly concerned that she is going to have a very hard time convincing her parents that I am a suitable boyfriend when I am neither rich nor Taiwanese. I know this situation is not all that uncommon especially with relationships involvings western guys and Taiwanese, Japanese and Korean women. One of my best friends has a Japanese girlfriend and they too have to keep their relationship a secret from the girls parents. It seems really silly and backward to me that in this day and age parents are still having an overriding influence over who their daughter or son is allowed to have a relationship with. If my parents ever tried to stop me from seeing someone I would just tell them to fuck off, but of course Taiwanese and Japanese children can’t do that because family must come first. I am very serious about my girlfriend but sometimes I wonder whether all the trouble I will have to go through is really going to be worth it. I could easily keep ranting and raving but I can’t be bothered typing anymore. I look forward to hearing from anybody who wishes to share their experiences or express their opinions. Cheers Erick

your parents WOULDNT interfere with who you are with…because they know its not their place

[quote=“MiakaW”]I would never said that to my bf / husband,…
I rather have a bf / husband who’s sex drive are just like me, serious!!! I think sex is more important in a relationship / marriage than $$$$…[/quote]

You said, "bf / husband twice and relationship / marriage once. Have you calculated the permutations?

[quote=“Richardm”][quote=“MiakaW”]I would never said that to my bf / husband,…
I rather have a bf / husband who’s sex drive are just like me, serious!!! I think sex is more important in a relationship / marriage than $$$$…[/quote]

You said, "bf / husband twice and relationship / marriage once. Have you calculated the permutations?[/quote]

I am all about having fun! :wink:

In that case, then make her pregnant. Her value on the marriage market will drop sharply, and her parents will have no choice, if you wait until her belly betrays her condition before letting her folks in on it.

I have heard someplace that it works, but it is totally irresponsible.

[quote=“Mr He”]In that case, then make her pregnant. Her value on the marriage market will drop sharply, and her parents will have no choice, if you wait until her belly betrays her condition before letting her folks in on it.

I have heard someplace that it works, but it is totally irresponsible.[/quote]

True love oh baby…true love

Erick, you are really in trouble, aren’t you…
See, the marriage is not just you and her, it’s the marriage of two families. It seems like both of you are in love and very serious about this relationship. If that is the case, may I suggest that you go visit her family more often(but on weekends though, coz. everyone is busy during the weekdays) just to say “hi”. They know that you don’t speak much Mandarin, and they don’t speak English, so, the body language is here to help. Properly use body language can be fun and break the embarrassing moment. That will make you and her family closer, especially her mother. And, always put smile on the face. In the meantime, try to learn Mandarin and understand what her family members (especially mother) like, such as, her mother likes to listen to classical music, then, you can talk to her about classical music or even buy her a piece of classical CD. It’s not a bribery, it’s the way to get to know her mother, for example.
Communication is very important for people to understand each other, body language will help in the situation that oral language is not understood for either side.

Some people take a beautiful girl and hide her away from the rest of the world. I take it you want to be the one to walk in the sun. Girls just want to have fun.

There are eight permutations. Math is fun.

I am in a similar situation in that my prefers I date a Taiwanese rather than a foreigner. However, it is not their place to tell me who to date or to marry. But, they are family and you just can’t say, hey butt out- or maybe you could. It is up to me to get them to accept him and it will eventually happen.

I suggest you have your gf bring you up more often during telephone conversations ie. what you guys did on the weekend, blah blah blah. As well, take the phone from her sometime and say hi to them and try and develop a rapport with them. After a while, the parents will understand the seriousness of the relationship and accept it. Maybe her parents just want assurance that this is a serious thing for BOTH of you. Good luck!

I have a foreign boyfriend and I don’t wish he becomes rich, I don’t care how much money he makes or if he can guarantee a comfortable life…I can make my own life comfortable. What I ask is LOVE… but seems he doesn’t care that much about love. he always says he wants to be alone, he wants space…even we haven’t seen each other for 3 weeks… :cry: have you ever said something like this to your Taiwanese girlfriend??
I think I am an independent gf…
can I believe when he still saying he loves me… :?
hehe…we also keep it a secret from my parents…

Lady, I hate to break it to ya, but there’s a very high probability you aren’t his only girlfriend. He takes over 3 weeks to get around to seeing you because he’s busy - with the other girls, whom he probably also hands them those same lines, “I gotta have my space! See ya in a couple of weeks when I feel like seeing you again.”

The other possibility is that he just doesn’t like you any more, and is deliberately avoiding you, but is too much of a coward to come out and say that the relationship’s off to your face.’

Either way, unless you’re in a long-distance relationship, that’s just not normal behaviour to avoid your girlfriend for weeks at a time. (I mean, the sex alone will keep a guy ‘in touch’ with his girl on a lot more regular basis :wink: )

Has he said, “Yo baby, you’re cramping my style!” has he? :slight_smile:

[quote=“cryac615”] he always says he wants to be alone, he wants space…even we haven’t seen each other for 3 weeks… :cry: have you ever said something like this to your Taiwanese girlfriend??
I think I am an independent gf…
can I believe when he still saying he loves me… :?
hehe…we also keep it a secret from my parents…[/quote]

Mod Lang’s right – Dump the zero and get yourself a hero.

No, we don’t said that to our bf/gf, we only said that when we wanted them to be our EX or when we are seeing someone else.

Well, girl, maybe HE is keeping a secret from you also when you guys haven’t seen each other for 3 weeks…
His little friend there sure had seen some friends other than yours.

This is the kind of thought and social expectation why I’m afraid to marry a Taiwanese. I can’t imagine how his mother would expect me to perform a “competent” daughter-in-law duty. Yike!!

Cryac615 I would have to agree with the other comments already made about your situation. It seems a bit strange that your boyfriend wants to be alone and needs space for 3 weeks. If I have ever asked for space or time out from my girlfriend it is usually after an argument which isn’t very often and if I need some space it will only be a few hours or 1 day not 3 weeks. I think if you really love someone you wouldn’t voluntarily separate yourself from them for 3 weeks. Good luck, Erick

Erick, As you know I am also dating a Taiwanese girl. It all seemed strange at first that we had to be a secret, blah blah blah. But I can see now that there seems to be very little scope for people to casually date each other. Each relationship seems to be conducted for the sole purpose of future marriage, kids etc. My girlfriends parents have accepted my existence in their dauhters life, but still continue to drop pressure on to my shoulders like nobodies business.

[quote=“cryac615”]I have a foreign boyfriend and I don’t wish he becomes rich, I don’t care how much money he makes or if he can guarantee a comfortable life…I can make my own life comfortable. What I ask is LOVE… but seems he doesn’t care that much about love. he always says he wants to be alone, he wants space…even we haven’t seen each other for 3 weeks… :cry: have you ever said something like this to your Taiwanese girlfriend??
I think I am an independent gf…
can I believe when he still saying he loves me… :?
hehe…we also keep it a secret from my parents…[/quote]

Did he always want his “space”? What i mean is did u guys see eachother a lot more often than 3 weeks and at some point he just doesn’t want to spend so much time together anymore? if he always said this then he probably didn’t think of u as his girlfriend and had multiple partners- can u really think of him as your bf if this is the case too? i wouldn’t cry over him at all.

if later on in the relationship he gave u this sorry " i need space" thing than maybe he doesn’t want to be in a serious relationship anymore. if this is the case, he isn’t worth thinking about because he didn’t have the decency or guts to tell u the truth and as his gf, it is the least u deserved- the TRUTH. if he is worth having as a friend, keep him as a friend. if he’s not much of a friend, just tell him, “Go ahead, be alone. I’m gonna find me a real man.” realize that women have the power in a relationship too…don’t let the guy take over and walk all over u. good luck to u:)

Thanx for all your comments…

No, he hasn’t said that…

I asked him if he doesn’t feel like seeing each other few weeks ago, he said he do want to see me… :?: That’s why I am so confused… maybe he just wants to be polite…or??

He never said it until he started to look for more working hours and got a new job.
I think I didn’t explain our situation clear enough…When I just knew him, he did have some other girlfriends.(I found out the truth from his computer…I logged in my mail box on yahoo, but jumped out another girls’ adresses.) At that time, I did not care that much. Afetr few weeks, he gave me the keys of his house. We worked together, went to the same gym, almost lived together and hanged out with our friends on the weekends TOGETHER… I only went back to my house when I wanted my own space. I did not know he might want to be alone sometimes…(he had no place to go…) I thought I am an independent gf. but now I know I am not. If he didn’t call me for few days, I got mad…maybe I am not a good gf.

He has to work from 9-6pm and go to his Chinese classes from 7-9pm. It’s almost 10pm when he gets home. How can he have time to hanged out with other girls…???

And I forgot we went hiking on the last weekend of Nov…, went to his house to get my books the next weekend and he picked me up from the train station yesterday…

Confusion in a relationship usually occurs when you know things are not right, but you don’t want to admit the relationship could be over. In hindsight, you might call this denial.

It’s reasonable to expect that your boyfriend could at least pick up the phone and call you every few days. But getting angry with him will only make the situation worse. If he really does just need some space, then give him lots of it. There’s nothing that men dislike more than being chased by a clingy, desperate girlfriend.

Here’s a better tactic:
I have a cat. Sometimes my cat thinks he needs “space” and tries to escape from my apartment when I open the door. In the past, whenever he got out, I used to immediately run after him. In which case, he would run even faster and I’d have to chase him down several flights of stairs. But then I got wiser. Whenever he gets out now, I just ignore him, walk into my apartment and close the door. Inevitably within a minute or two, I hear him meowing at the door, wanting back in.

Sounds simple enough, but it works everytime. Trust me, this works with men too.

Take this time to focus on your own life. If he does really want to end the relationship, then you getting angry or desperate isn’t going to change that. But if you get get out and get active:

  1. You’ll feel a lot better about yourself.

  2. Maybe he really did just need some space to realize once again how wonderful you are. (Men sometimes forget this when a relationship gets too close too fast.) If he realizes that you are going on with your life with or without him, that may be all it takes to draw him back to you.

  3. Maybe you’ll find a better guy who will appreciate you more.

Good luck!

Erhu, I couldn’t agree with you more. Getting angry only hurts yourself and pushes him further away. The best thing to do is don’t worry about it-although it is easier said than done. However, when you get the guts to do it, you have a better perspective of the relationship and may end up saying, hey, this was for the best.

Give the guy all the space he wants. Sometimes people don’t know what they want until they lose it.