Tonight I was having some ice cream and someone said “Don’t eat cold stuff because your peepee is warm and you need to balance it”. No idea what that means. I guess the room temperature red wine is no problem.
Next time you go out for ice cream, wear pants.
It’s just traditional Chinese medicine BS.
You DO need to balance it! Your friends are worried you’ll drop icecream on little tango42, and ride into a lamppost in shock. They love you. Listen to them.
It’s Chinese [strike]medicine[/strike] superstition. Ignore it.
Next time that person drinks something hot:" Don’t drink hot stuff because your peepee is much colder and you need to balance".
If that person is not a peepee holder, replace that word accordingly.
But you can eat shaved mango ice … oh, no, mango is a bad fruit for that in Chinese medicine. ‘In Chinese medicine, mangoes are considered sweet and sour with a cooling energy’, sorry forgot about it. 
If you want to really live on the edge then walk around outside with wet hair. 
My students sometimes comment on this if I happen to have a shower just before work.
Is this a new style? Did you put something in your hair?
No, I just had a shower. I know this may be hard to believe but my hair is wet.
Oh! 
You’ll get a headache if you don’t dry your hair!
I never dry my hair. Every day I walk outside with wet hair and I never get headaches.
Er, when you get old you’ll get headaches.
Because I walked outside with wet hair today I will get a headache when I’m older? How does that work?
Er . . . I mean if you’re old and you go outside with wet hair you’ll get a headache.
If I stay in Taiwan much longer I don’t think I’ll have any hair when I get older. You know, various environmentals. 
Then you could try acupuncture. The doctor will stick thousands of needles into your head and it will look like you have hair. And you’ll feel much better afterwards.
I’ll feel better after he pulls all of the dubiously sterilized metal out of my head?
Yes! The ancients were very wise! As my mother used to say, ha ha, “Eat pig brain to compensate for your pig brain!” 
Did she ever tell you to eat chicken testicles to compensate for your, um, chicken testicles?
Implication here is that the moderns are getting dumber.
[quote=“antarcticbeech”]
Did she ever tell you to eat chicken testicles to compensate for your, um, chicken testicles?
[/quote]
If you’ve ever eaten them, you’ll notice that cock balls are actually quite large. Chickens don’t have balls, they’re fowl women.
qu bing!!!