Not harsh, just complete stupidity. I know several people who have adopted children. The kids seem normal to me. And a classmate of mine in college was adopted as a baby by a Chinese couple (he’s white). There was nothing obviously “wrong” with him. [/quote]
I disagree. It’s neither harsh nor stupidity, it’s just awkwardly worded. I almost married a girl who was adopted as a baby and who seemed to have suffered more than her fair share of emotional distress growing up. Sure, no family environment (whether natural or adoptive) is perfect, and childhood and adolescence can be very stressful and difficult for kids from all backgrounds (adopted or not), but it pained me greatly to see how she had suffered trying to fit in with her family, her friends, school, etc., so I began reading up on adoption. My recollection is that most literature on the subject says that adoptive kids often tend to have very serious emotional issues that can be very difficult for both the child and the adoptive family to deal with, which makes sense. Eventually the kid realizes she is different from the rest of the family and may feel her parents didn’t want her and threw her away, perhaps because she was bad or inferior, and the new home took her in out of pity, but she’s not really as good as the “real” children and they don’t love her as much, but are just taking care of her as they would a stray dog, etc., and that can lead to serious problems with low self esteem, feelings of not belonging, and resulting behavioral problems (my friend worked as a stripper, trying to get the approval she so badly needed). So, I believe it’s completely inaccurate to say there’s something “wrong” with adopted children; but I believe it is correct that adoptive children often have serious emotional issues unique from those of other kids, that can make adoption a very challenging and difficult process, requiring total committment, love and perseverence.
Not quite grasping the concept of adoption here, SJ? The idea is the child will be permanently absorbed into a family, not kicked out of the family when he/she is no longer the ideal child.[/quote]
That, I agree with. As if the adopted child doesn’t have enough problems having been abandoned once, by the birth parents, when the child then goes through multiple additional abandonments by a succession of foster parents and adoptive parents who changed their minds – that’s what leads lots of kids (not all, admittedly) to crime, violence, depression and self-destructive behavior. Multiple abandonment, especially of an older child who is more aware of what’s going on, is far worse on a child than a single abandonment.
:fume: