Duty and Inheritance

Dear Forumosa Legends,

I have a Taiwanese friend who works hard, earns 30k, gives 8k to her elderly dad every month. She is the youngest is the family. Her elder siblings (one bro, one sis) do not contribute. In a dispute with her brother recently (regarding who contributes to her father’s hospital bills, etc), he said he would be prepared to “see her in court”.

Would it be normal for her to be passed over come inheritance time? I.e. Is the majority of the inherentance still usually given to the eldest son?

Is there anything a court could do, would do to get her other families to contribute?

It seems to me as if she risks paying out but getting nothing in return, but I’m not familiar with the laws and norms in this situation.

Yes. I’ve seen it many times. Including my wife’s family.

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Even though she is the one taking care of the parents, she will be passed over most likely. That’s how it is traditionally. The oldest sons wife would basically be everyone’s bitch if I recall correctly.

It’s really horrible. The daughters do everything for their parents and get nothing.


It sounds good to me.

Being a white male definitely has advantages, but in the current political climate I wouldn’t want to bring it up. Your balls hang low to proclaim a similar point of view here. :+1:

Harsh, but true.

Happened in my family. Now that both grandparents have passed nobody talks to my eldest uncle, and frankly I’ll be glad when he’s dead.

Anyway, nothin’ you can do. Aside from be there to support your wife.

Maybe she should ask her dad , now . It’s the Parents responsibility to make it right .

I don’t think that’s going to work. The parents create these a#@holes and have to live with the misery. It’s weird. I have a friend whose mother’s oldest brother is just the biggest piece of crap. All his siblings hate him and want nothing to do with him because he screwed them all over. Parents gave him everything and now they’re miserable because he’s the boss. He controls the strings. What a nightmare. Who the hell in Chinese history came up with this crap?

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Sounds exactly like my family. I sincerely cannot wait until that motherfucker croaks.


Unfortunately it won’t be happening :slight_smile:

Thanks for the replies. I wonder what can be done and what the consequences are.

She continues to pay for everyone, gets nothing except continued access to the family.

Stops payment and loses her family.

When do her duties stop? And what effect does marriage have? Am I right in thinking that if she gets married she continues to have these responsibilities?

Considering her a$#hole family is “traditional”, once she’s married she belongs to her husbands family and is not really required to look after her’s because now she has to look after her husband’s parents. If she’s lucky, she marries a guy from a normal family. If not, she’ll just continue this mess for another couple of generations.


Do you know why the elder bro and sis do not contribute?
Do they have jobs or are they lazy fugs?
Is her father healthy? If so, that co-worker should have a frank talk (no matter how hard it is for her to do so, given the culture). The dad (if healthy) probably knows what’s going on.

But, anyway, that’s the culture. Oldest son gets all.
In the grand scheme of things, the co-worker is gathering a huge amount of chips for her after-life. Her siblings, zero.

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She should ask the dad directly, or else cease paying so much now.

Traditionally if you marry off and move out and if you are the youngest daughter you have the least responsibility. She should only visit on the third day of Chinese new year for instance if.
The eldest son should have the most responsibility including financially but it often happens the way you describe that the sisters do most of the caring still.
Seen similar situation in the in laws family.

If that’s how stingy they are, to hell with them.


My in-laws “loaned” a small fortune to my brother in law for his now failed business. Now my in-laws want their two daughters, my wife and her sister, to fund their retirement. They still have a house worth a lot, but no cash.

The father-in-law would probably split the inheritance equally, but the mother-in-law has made it absolutely clear the son gets it all. Even if the daughters pay for their retirement.

I’ve said I’m not paying for their retirement under any circumstances. As far as I’m concerned they can get a reverse mortgage on the house.


As unfair as it may seem, there is some logic to this. Women marry into other families. But for women who never get married, then they should receive some inheritance as well.