schizocarp - (the winged seed pod of maple trees … having to do with reproduction)
perpetual - (Continuing or lasting for an indefinitely long time… how long seeds last)
lasting (see above)
grandfather (as in clock)
rash (like on his ass from the diapers)
horny (as in what he was before he got the rash)
yearn (I’m sure he does, since he’s horny and all)
nostalgia (yearning for something past)
age (link is too obvious to explain)
age > era
era > ancient
ancient > tradition
tradition > nonsense 
nonsense > eccentric
eccentric > crazy
crazy > zany
zany > nuts
nuts-> squirrel
squirrel > language (there’s a computer language called Squirrel)
language > Euskara (the native name for the Basque language)