Episode II: Attack of the Clones

Does anyone know when Episode 2 is opening here?

What’s that? Some kind of new game?

Saturday, May 18th… they’re pretty much having the opening on the same week around the world.

No, it is the second film of the Star Wars series. I don’t know when it is coming to Taipei, but I’ll be watching it in Singapore by the 3rd week of May

Star wars?.. Yawn, what a total bore. Anyway, I thought there were about 10 or so of these things. That’s the Indiana Jones guy, right?

yea ,its opening on the same date worldwide…exept for one place that was obviously deemed another planet…i.e. japan…i live in japan and i wont be able to see it til july and when i do see it i will have to pay around 600nt to sit in a sh1tty little ecxuse for a theatre with a farty sound system and no room for my ‘gaijin’ legs

Just go download it Telesync has been released so if ur on adsl find it or just wait a few days and ur local vcd pimp should have it in his/her shop.

i often download movies done with a video camera in a movie theatre…but to watch starwars like that would be sacrilige…ideally id like to see it on a digital screen…but a normal one would do. You wouldnt beleive that low quality of the theatres in japan.

Saw Star Wars last night and hard a hard time sleeping… so many mixed feelings. SFX all around were quite amazing, though being a little woozy from watching the world cup I feel I missed a lot toward the end of the movie… (ie. I ceased to care about anything related to the plot… was there one? The fact that I feel compelled to attempt to start an in-depth analysis of the movie’s successes and shortcomings leads me to believe it was a much better movie than the stinking Phantom Menace.

-Cool new sound effects
-Digital Yoda rocks, also his fight scene which reminded me of the climax in “Bride of Chucky”

  • The name “Darth Sidious,” as soon as it was spoken left me in tears laughing.


  • stupid lines
  • What’s with Anakin jumping out of the cruiser and plunging 4km downward to land on the roof of the fleeing assassin. (can jedi even see 4km, let alone time something so perfectly? I know they’re talented but isn’t that a little much)
  • Chubby Ewen Mcgregor trying to act like Obiwan…
  • All that political intrigue that was anything but intriguing.
  • The dumb romance, and confessions of eternal love… some painful lines but so cheezy they were almost enjoyable so long as we can assume that Lucas was laughing along with us

what did ye all think?

Made for 12 year olds …

Great FX, Yoda’s fighting scene the highlight. Ewan didn’t fit. Dumb plot (reminder: made for 12 year olds). Stupid lines. Errr, what else …

Oh my god, Lucas made Episode II for 12-year-olds? The gall! I’m sure glad he didn’t do that back in 1977.

You were expecting Citizen Kane, maybe? Sorry, wrong theater. This one was pretty much just like all the other Star Wars films.

yes but he should know that those 12 year olds that he made the movie for in 1977 would grow up into 30 something year olds with the emotional and intelectual capacities of 12 year olds and want to continue to believe that despite all the evidence, Star Wars (IV) is the best movie ever made… Dumbo was made for 12 year olds and I still love that little guy

Off on a bit of a tangent here, but did anybody read Beetle Bailey in today’s China Post?
Sarge says in exasperation “Beetle, you’ll be the death of me”
Next Frame: Beetle (beaten to a pulp) says, “Are you sure you don’t have that backwards?”
The Chinese translation at the bottom says that this is a reference to Star Wars Episode 3, where young Anakin says to Obi-wan, “I’ll be the death of you yet!”
Where the heck did they get the idea that these two things are connected? Weird…

IMHO an ok movie if you leave your brains at the door. Better than E1 but I have never been a real fan of SW anyway - and never understood the hype about it. Oh well …

It’s eye-candy fun in a big theater. Did anyone suggest that SW should be deep? (OK, I know what the late Joseph Campbell said…)
What I want to know is: Who ordered the clone army? Some jedi 10 years ago who was supposed to be dead by then and the rest of the jedis didn’t know about this? Huh?

yea… well that was a little confusing. But I couldn’t figure out what was up with that whole thing. Tell me if I got this straight.

The Clones were cloned from Papa Fett. Papa Fett is a bad guy and so is his sour-faced son, but the clone army is built for the good guys (jedi which is also the plural form of the word). The movie is called, “Attack of the Clones,” but they don’t really attack anything but instead - along with yoda, save all the jedi in their battle with the droid army. Is the movie title misleading> or am I missing something? Someone please tell me, or do I have to sit through all those boring love scenes one more time only to find myself ever-more confused.

despite all the failings of my emotional and intellectual capacities now and when i was twelve i was still neither properly amused or offended by the inordinate attention to the sad desperate make that young Darth laid on poor pleasently-nippled Natalie Portman. if they felt we needed to understand how it is that these two generate Luke, the hero of our youth, in order to cash in on the faith we invested in the original trilogy they could have done it with a fraction of the forty minutes of tripe spewed over blazing fireplaces, fields of daisies, and other-world rivieras. perhaps the writers were hoping to add depth to the character of young Darth by representing his tortured soul and his desperate clinging to our young princess as validation of his badass-ness but the early movies weren’t heavy-handed lessons in dysfunctional relationships leading to the dark side, and our princess didn’t seem to act out the melting of her icy exterior real well. Lucas could have won my heart with less of Darth’s poorly scripted emotional malaise. just hearing Annekin use the line about ‘i don’t like sand, its course, and rough, and unforgiving, and it gets everywhere, not like you, your soft, smooth’ and moving on her backside you could tell he was desperate. we didn’t really need the scenes of him moanin’ and cryin’ over unrequited love, too.

did you guys do this stuff when you were twelve? if you did would you want to relive the scene when your intending to escape into a world where Jedis kick ass? did Darth’s fall from grace have to be so pathetic, and how come when he goes psycho and slaughters a whole village of Tuston raiders he wins the sympathy of his girl?

Han Solo never did this crap, and Luke was sort of asexual like a monk or a eunach something. maybe its that the infantile and inadequate romantic lessons that Lucas offered in the original trilogy weren’t adequate and that us twenty or thirty-something twelve year olds are getting revisionist instruction in the possible error of our ways from Lucas. Han Solo as king mack vs. young Darth as overcompensating soft stick.

what’s my point, you ask? in the first trilogy the only real bee-atch was C3PO flying in the face of artificial intelligence as an effeminate Laurel to R2’s Hardy, but bringing the overwhelming focus of the thin dialogue ratio to bear on the pitiful trash-camp hook-up of the Skywalkers was a mistake even if the dialogue wasn’t as nauseating as it was. i went to that movie with an assortment of drinks in my lap to forget my worries and enjoy. Lucas screwed with my buzz by subjecting me to an unamusing soap opera of dysfunction.

all that said, Yoda’s hyper-monkey saber stylings and Sammo’s Miyamoto beheading of Pappa Fett and other sword fight scenes rocked. it looked real sharp. even the digitally hyper romantic waterfalls behind the romantic horsing around in the prairie had their own effect. i felt a little less robbed of my childhood innocence than i did walking out of that last fiasco.

also, the political intrique and talk of faith in democracy and the republic against a backdrop where the republic historians/intelligence had entirely missed the existence of a planet where an army was forming against them and the the convuluted business of the clones fighting with Yoda against the old droid armies and the separitists and all that crap seemes altogether apropos in the way that Star Trek tended to be about cold war stuff but was gleemed over such that i couldn’t make heads or tails of it… anybody wanna clear that up for me some? we all know the emperor and the chancellor are are the same guy since they’re played by the same actor and so they are obviously running both the droid and clone armies against each other. does this make for a subversive allegory of our boy W up in office and the plans that he and the other good ole boys aka republicans aka americans aka Masons aka illuminati have for us? any takers?

But who ORDERED the clone army? And any idea why?
(Don’t the beings that do the cloning look like the computer intellegences in A.I.?)

it would seem that the Emperor ordered the clones, perhaps through his nasty sith culties that have slipped among the jedi order or some such. didn’t the Emperor commend Dookie on the clones at the end or was too bored and drunk?

i missed AI, not unlike a whole host of movies i have missed with little regret. seeing this Star Wars movie is a commitment i made back when i was seven and i’m beginning to regret it too. i thought the Clone makin’ aliens looked much like the deep sea aliens in the Abyss and i was egged on by the similar environ. the horse hooves were new though.

anyway, i assumed that the Emperor created the clones to escalate things and set everybody to a full on war so he could profit from it. of course in the original trilogy it was Darth and the Emperor, the same chancellor who thought so highly of young petulant Darth, that are cruising around on those big destroyers filled with clones or stormtroopers gathering at the end of this last movie. there must be some fanatic who read the books ages ago and can answer these questions pat. i’m really not as interested in the skeleton of the story but mostly just that they make it a good watch.

Lord of the Rings rocked. how about some wild trilogy verse trilogy speculation?

My son and I disagreed on what the final scene in STAR WARS II really meant. I am a bit weak on remembering the names of the characters . . . . but I think what happened was that the boy named Anakin married the Princess Nabubu.

If so, this would make Princess Nabubu the mother of Luke Skywalker.

Is this correct or have I misconstrued something?