New poster here. Lurking on this forum for the last 3 years now without posting. Just a young man here trying to get wisdom from fellow older and wiser formosans. I don’t want to get banned by moderators or roasted by the regular formosans for this topic, I’m asking for a friend. Please don’t rip me a new one or just turn this topic into some sarcastic clever remarks full of nonsense.
How many of you gentlemen or your friends have used escorts in Taipei? I don’t believe it is sleazy, just a basic need men need sometimes. Have you or someone you know gotten attached to a girl after seeing her several times within a span of a few months? How did that work out? Online or in a 酒店 (jiu dian). It always doesn’t end up well it seems. A real relationship almost never works out when a client meets a girl during this work. Usually due to jealousy or control issues from the guy or the girl taking advantage of the guy seeing her. Even if a real relationship between escort and client happens it usually doesn’t last long. I’ve been in two before. Never want to do that again.
I know how stupid it sounds, but I have this friend who has no friends or family in Taipei and has no real interest dating local girls or making local friends, not close to any of his family. He just doesn’t want to become attached to Taiwan since he plans on leaving in the next year. He has been living in and out of Taipei for the last few years only for the medical care and frequents escorts weekly using family money and sleeps with them while living in the best hotels in Taipei for the past few consecutive years. He has visited escorts for his emotional and physical needs for the last few years in Taipei a few time a week without getting emotionally attached to any of the working girls here, but recently has caught feelings for one of the escorts he visits frequently.
Is there a way to block out getting emotionally attached to visiting escorts after seeing them a few times. Sometimes getting attached to escorts and working girls just happens without your control I guess. Other than just using a different girl every time. There are some girls he visits who he shows me pictures of who are I think are cute but average looking that he falls hard for, he tells me how ridiculously hot and attractive she is, even though I think it is only because him loving or lusting after the escort makes them more beautiful in his eyes.
My friend is depressed and a bit mentally unstable right now because of his emotional attachment with his escort. Even after not visiting her for a while. He will still use escorts regularly a few times a week in the future but it takes a huge toll on his mental health when he catches feelings with some of the girls. I don’t think many people can relate to my moronic friend but is there any advice you could give for him to get better. Maybe I can show him the replies from this topic to him to get him some help. Any advice and non flaming reply would be appreciated.
This wasn’t well written as I am a university dropout and reading what I wrote might make some of the posters confused - but the point is how can someone like my friend get over the fact that there can never be a relationship between the escort he fancies and is infatuated with? I can’t convince him. I don’t think my friend is completely stupid, just lonely in Taipei and looking for his physical and emotional needs in the wrong places.
I know antidepressants(SSRIs) might block out emotional attachment and the ability to fall in love and maybe fall out of love, but is there any other medication that you know of that might help my friend get over his worsening mental health and emotional pain? Other than drinking and using more escorts to numb his pain, is there any other way for him to get over this girl faster? Besides visiting mental health professionals in the hospital, which he already is doing, what can help?
There is nothing you can do besides tell him the truth and the reality of things. And being there as a friend if he wants you to help him get over this escort. If he doesn’t want to, and i mean actually want to besides saying so, there is nothing you can do. You can help someone who can’t be helped, a lesson i learned many times personally.
If he wants to get over her, first step is actually quite simple but hard to do if you caught feelings. Stop seeing her for her services, cut all contact and delete that number.
IMO, the point of pay is not to just to fulfill needs the moment you want it. But youre paying for discretion and lack of emotional or any commitment beyond that transaction.
I caught some feelings once, strong antibiotics are the way to go with them.
Are you seriously asking this question? You want a drug that’ll stop some dickhead from falling in love with a prostitute? Tell him to find some healthier pursuits. Give something of himself to the community so he doesn’t feel so worthless.
rent Pretty Woman.
bring a mirror.
have him look in the mirror and ask himself if he resembles Richard Gere.
Honestly, have him read these comments.
The escort/prostitute has zero feelings, repeat ZERO, for him, because there are 10-20 others or more like him who feel “she is the one for them”.
I think you Friend, needs serious help from a professional psychiatrist. It sounds like there is a lot going on internally and the excuse of not forming friendships/ relationships due to life commitments is a thin one at best. Paying for sex seams like a way of felling close to someone, but as it’s a paid for service he can pretend there is no long term emotional commitment. The fact that this is now failing shows a deeper problem. Sounds like he needs a bit of time in a professional retreat with some time to reflect and deal with the underlying issues. I think afterwards he would be able to build both short term and long standing relationships and get his life back under his control.
Oh God. I think OP’s friend would be happier with a normal girlfriend, and until then meeting his “manly needs” by just whacking off. But I’m worried about the risks if he goes looking for a relationship on Tindr e.g… He seems to lack basic discernment skills, and could easily be tricked into falling for another manipulator or something.
Your friend needs structure and goals in their life and to form relationships with regular people. Basically get a job or study or start a business , something along those lines.
Sex workers want you to believe they’ve fallen for you. They want you to believe there’s really something there, because that’s good for business. It’s not emotional for them. It’s simply a transaction.
Your friend really needs a reality check. And a hobby.
‘He’ needs to become someone worthy of attraction. If you’re paying for escorts I doubt you’re the kind of person who can attract women. Unless you are wealthy.
Very true.
Complete yourself first. Then everything else kind of falls into place. No other person can complete you, nor should they.
Does that make sense?
Yes and no. I’ve known people who simply do not want to be bothered with a relationship, yet they are highly sought-after and eligible. To fill their biological desires / needs they pay to play.
Later, when they want to focus on a relationship, they date. But…there is a danger in this, same with pornography. It creates a false reality. Sexual expectations end up being beyond normal and puts too much pressure on absolute physical perfection.
To stop myself from rambling, simply put…
There is an underlying danger to becoming addicted to unnatural sexual expectations that can ruin relationships and damage people’s self worth.
Lots of kind people post solving problems with their friends.
Still it’s hard to talk about this stuff, the friend is looking after him to get help .
Break the cycle , stop coming to Taipei staying in hotels and get a solid routine iof regular life with some hobbies and goals . Do not even think about using drugs to deal with this.
I think the OP’s friend needs to accept Jesus into his heart. His life of sin obviously isn’t working out for him. I mean, if you’re not even enjoying the sinning, why bother?
He has to occupy himself with other things like hobbies.
Since money is not an issue. He could ask her to be her sugar daddy and pay for everything she desires. He will be her only client. She might prefer this instead of working different clients. It is like marrying just without the divorce afterwards.
Religion could conceivably be of some help, both in introducing him to normal women, and in disciplining his life a little more. Depending on the religion, of course–like women (or men), there are some crazy ones out there.
Another positive step might be to complete university. (Or have I confused OP with his friend?) That would not only place him in close proximity to a number of normal women, but possibly make him a more well-rounded human being. At least, university has this potential. Anyway, it seems worth considering.
I think the OP is not looking at the problem in the right way. You have all the elements, but this is a good example of a situation in which you need to think out of the box.
@happypills, you have these elements: a whore, drugs, and a horny idiot. Who do you think has to take the drugs, even if inadvertently, for making your friend reach happiness?
EDIT: tip removed because someone flagged this super offensive post
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