Every Once In A Long While

Discussion Open Forum
1

So I am sitting on the train, mid morning, riding back to Dan Shui, lost in my thoughts and oblivious to my surroundings, when I become aware that someone is standing far too close to me on an almost empty train. I casually look up to see the typical 40 something business guy staring at me with hate in his eyes. As soon as our eyes meet he says, " I don’t like your head!"
WTF?

I am utterly confused as to what this guy is talking about and I say, “excuse me?”

“Your head!” he spits “I don’t like your head! Wau bu shi wan ne de toa fa![i don’t like your hair]”

Ok, Not even really thinking and too tired to care I say, “I don’t like your face but I have enough class to keep it to myself. So what is your point?”

He is really excited now, face red, looming above me pointing his finger in my face. “You must do a Taiwanese you are in Taiwan I don’t like your head!”

I suppose I should be a little concerned, but I find it hard to feel threatened by a 40 year old, fat, angry business-man who probably gets winded jerking off.

Well, I think to myself I am married to a Taiwanese woman so actually I am “doing” a Taiwanese, but I don’t say it. I am still kind of fuzzy and the whole thing is not really registering yet.

“This is Taiwan you must do a Taiwanese!” he emphatically demands punctuating each word with a finger jab.

“Oh, ok… I must do a Taiwanese… what exactly is that?” I ask “dress like a prick or act like a complete cunt in public?”

“You have no right you are not a Taiwanese this is Taiwan!” the broken record of flawed logic has begun and I am quickly losing my patience with his fat little fingers poking in my face, and now this is when the real amazing thing happens.

Three strangers on the train, 2 women and a man come over to intervene and start to shit on the guy. He switches to Taiwanese immediately, but I catch enough of the strangers rant to understand that they think he should sit down and shut up.

I have lived here for 6 years, seen some crazy shit, but I have never seen people get involved with strangers in public before.

Honestly today was a day that I needed some small reminder about the warmth of humanity for each other. I had spent the morning at the Ministry of Immigration playing whose on first with the ever misinformed counter staff and this was just what the doctor ordered.

Still smiling when I think about it.

2

As I read it, I was expecting for him to pull shears out and give you a haircut…

3

I am sure that guy was a nutter, but just to be sure, can we get a pic of the hair in question. Maybe you have a fauxhawk, or are a white dude with dreadlocks or something. Perhaps he was having a bad day, and your hair just set him off. Like I said, without pics there is no way to tell.

4

You know, I just really, really have a hard time understanding pricks of that order. It’s true that the three who got involved on you train and told the guy to sit down and shut up are rare, but they do exist.

My husband and I were the only two people in a small resturant once when this obviously financially well off couple and their fat son came in. They looked us over for a while and then came over to tell us all the things we happened to be doing wrong at the moment.

Anytime my husband and I were together, other people always assumed him to be Japanese. They refused to speak either Mandarine or Taiwanese with him, but insisted on showing off their English. We finally got tired of all their complaints and told them that they were being very rude and asked them to leave us be.

They made all kinds of big talk about having us thrown out and went to try it, but they were thrown out instead!

On the way out, they spoke very loudly, in English and in Mandarine, about how they would never debase themselves by eating in a place that served us. I never have understood that. But my husband and I ate free that night and we and the owners of that place had a good hard laugh at those idiots.

5

These situations happen from time to time.

I love it when the plonkers tell me to get out of Taiwan and this is Taiwan must do this or that.

Just the other week a woman in the Brass Monkey was telling me to get out of Taiwan and go home. I told her home was 5 hours away. She asks where? I answered, Alishan hehehehe

When I spoke to her in Taiwanese she got even madder and asked me top stop with that langauge as she didn’t understand it. Her Mandarin was ok. Yes I replied, that’s because I really am Taiwanese and you are a stupid chinese American ( 4th generation from the mainland ). SO how about you piss off back to Amrica and leave me to Taiwan.

When she rags on about how I cannot be Taiwanese I rip out my ID card and show it to her… but this isn’t right she says :noway: :noway: … you’re white :astonished: :astonished:

Bigots, red necks and utter deadbeats… every country has them

6

[quote=“Satellite TV”]These situations happen from time to time.

I love it when the plonkers tell me to get out of Taiwan and this is Taiwan must do this or that.

Just the other week a woman in the Brass Monkey was telling me to get out of Taiwan and go home. I told her home was 5 hours away. She asks where? I answered, Alishan hehehehe

When I spoke to her in Taiwanese she got even madder and asked me top stop with that langauge as she didn’t understand it. Her Mandarin was ok. Yes I replied, that’s because I really am Taiwanese and you are a stupid Chinese American ( 4th generation from the mainland ). SO how about you piss off back to Amrica and leave me to Taiwan.

When she rags on about how I cannot be Taiwanese I rip out my ID card and show it to her… but this isn’t right she says :noway: :noway: … you’re white :astonished: :astonished:

Bigots, red necks and utter deadbeats… every country has them[/quote]

Sat TV, I would have loved to have been there for that. It makes me smile in evil contempt for that sort of ABC. Sadly, she probably didn’t register anything and went back to her “Got Rice?” type attitude.

7

High-five for doing a Taiwanese. :bravo:

8

High-five for doing a Taiwanese. :bravo:[/quote]
When in Rome, do the Romans. :slight_smile:

9

[quote=“housecat”]You know, I just really, really have a hard time understanding pricks of that order. It’s true that the three who got involved on you train and told the guy to sit down and shut up are rare, but they do exist.

My husband and I were the only two people in a small resturant once when this obviously financially well off couple and their fat son came in. They looked us over for a while and then came over to tell us all the things we happened to be doing wrong at the moment.

Anytime my husband and I were together, other people always assumed him to be Japanese. They refused to speak either Mandarine or Taiwanese with him, but insisted on showing off their English. We finally got tired of all their complaints and told them that they were being very rude and asked them to leave us be.

They made all kinds of big talk about having us thrown out and went to try it, but they were thrown out instead!

On the way out, they spoke very loudly, in English and in Mandarine, about how they would never debase themselves by eating in a place that served us. I never have understood that. But my husband and I ate free that night and we and the owners of that place had a good hard laugh at those idiots.[/quote]

Ahh the nouvo riche all the money in the world and not a touch of class.

10

How were you wearing your hair, by the way? Just curious. I have yet to have anyone rant at me about my hair, but then mine’s pretty average.

Anyway, you could have said “I do Taiwanese every night” and mimed a few pelvic thrusts to drive the point home!

11

99% it was a nutter, though, because even if Taiwanese businessmen think that way, it is not acceptable in the culture to do anything about it on the MRT. They’ll hate you silently but usually they will look reasonably pleasant or at least neutral while they’re doing it. After all, the ultimate Taiwanese (high-class) revenge is to smile and be nice to you and stab you in the back. (As distinct from phoning up 20 of your mates and pounding the piss out of you…that’s another class of endeavor.)

Unless, of course, he thought that speaking piss-poor English would somehow elevate him to a plain where no one could hear what was going on.

12

[quote=“Chris”]How were you wearing your hair, by the way? Just curious. I have yet to have anyone rant at me about my hair, but then mine’s pretty average.

Anyway, you could have said “I do Taiwanese every night” and mimed a few pelvic thrusts to drive the point home![/quote]

I’ve been told several times, all of them by different Taiwanese people that I have “foreigner hair.” Maybe the OP’s hair insn’t straight or black enough?

13

High-five for doing a Taiwanese. :bravo:[/quote]
When in Rome, do the Romans. :slight_smile:[/quote]

Did you hear about the happy Roman?

He was glad-he-ate-her (Gladiator)

14

That’s the most concise description of the Taiwan Bureaucracy Experience I’ve ever heard.

Sir, I salute you!

15

you can say that again. did he smell strongly of alcohol?

The really funny thing is, you see the hair on a lot of these kids today? They make any foreigner I ever seen look like a republican party recruiting poster.

16

yes, the new “in” hairstyles for young girls (and many guys) are these Nikki-Sixx style 80s chimp-hair dos

17

One of the funniest stories I’ve read in a long time, shifty. You do Taiwanese regularly!

I’ve met a few weirdos on the MRT, lots of nice people (e.g. dropped my wallet once and one person ran it over to me after I’d gotten off the train, two others hollered to me), and lots of people who look like escapees from the world of the undead. Once had a girl, about 22, yak through and entire conversation, moving closer and closer to me. I interrupted her twice to ask her to give me a little space, but she kept it up. Must be my overwhelming animal magnetism.

The MRT provides a good snapshot of society here, except for the ultrasolemnity.

18

My pleasure it was intended to be as ridiculously funny and bizarre as the incident that inspired it.

One of the other posters mentioned that is was probably a nutter; I too was thinking that as it unfolded; I was searching his face and eyes for any signs of mental instability, but honestly I think he was just an asshole in a three piece suit who hates his life and wanted to share his bile with someone he thought had to listen, guess again fuckwad.
:raspberry: