So I am sitting on the train, mid morning, riding back to Dan Shui, lost in my thoughts and oblivious to my surroundings, when I become aware that someone is standing far too close to me on an almost empty train. I casually look up to see the typical 40 something business guy staring at me with hate in his eyes. As soon as our eyes meet he says, " I don’t like your head!"
I am utterly confused as to what this guy is talking about and I say, “excuse me?”
“Your head!” he spits “I don’t like your head! Wau bu shi wan ne de toa fa![i don’t like your hair]”
Ok, Not even really thinking and too tired to care I say, “I don’t like your face but I have enough class to keep it to myself. So what is your point?”
He is really excited now, face red, looming above me pointing his finger in my face. “You must do a Taiwanese you are in Taiwan I don’t like your head!”
I suppose I should be a little concerned, but I find it hard to feel threatened by a 40 year old, fat, angry business-man who probably gets winded jerking off.
Well, I think to myself I am married to a Taiwanese woman so actually I am “doing” a Taiwanese, but I don’t say it. I am still kind of fuzzy and the whole thing is not really registering yet.
“This is Taiwan you must do a Taiwanese!” he emphatically demands punctuating each word with a finger jab.
“Oh, ok… I must do a Taiwanese… what exactly is that?” I ask “dress like a prick or act like a complete cunt in public?”
“You have no right you are not a Taiwanese this is Taiwan!” the broken record of flawed logic has begun and I am quickly losing my patience with his fat little fingers poking in my face, and now this is when the real amazing thing happens.
Three strangers on the train, 2 women and a man come over to intervene and start to shit on the guy. He switches to Taiwanese immediately, but I catch enough of the strangers rant to understand that they think he should sit down and shut up.
I have lived here for 6 years, seen some crazy shit, but I have never seen people get involved with strangers in public before.
Honestly today was a day that I needed some small reminder about the warmth of humanity for each other. I had spent the morning at the Ministry of Immigration playing whose on first with the ever misinformed counter staff and this was just what the doctor ordered.
Still smiling when I think about it.