Unless you were born in 1900 vay, you should not have been expected to get a job when you were 11.
is that the point of what he’s trying to say?
i had the same experience. my allowance was crap when i was 12, so i got a job - a paper route. i made my own money, that i was free to spend in whatever way i wanted (also lost a bunch of weight).
taught me more than if my parents had caved in and given me whatever i whined for. i don’t think there’s been too long a period since then that i haven’t had some sort of job. and never any serious debt either, other than student loans. that kind of thing teaches the value of money.
i think the whole list shouldn’t be taken quite so literally. there are times that “no” means “no” in my house as well - i don’t think it always needs to be explained, especially when kids are really young. i’m not saying that this is what should be used always, mostly, or often - but it can have a place.
Choosing to get a paper route and being told to go find a job are two different things. I was collecting bottles and cans at that age. 
i was told that if i wanted more money, then i should go and earn it. that to me sounds like “get a job”, although i don’t recall those exact words being said.
like i said above, some things being taken a tad too literally in this thread. IMHO, of course.
I agree; the OP quote was probably written somewhat in jest.
The list, interpreted correctly, is a very good list. The list is written in an obvious sarcastic tone with very serious undertones to it.
This thread would be more enjoyable to add to the list instead of arguing points that are not even on the list (like a child getting a job).
Good find Vay.
Yeah, I don’t think he actually expected me to. However, in spite of being underage, I did get a job under the table at a pet shop. I got paid in credit towards pet stuff, but since that was all I really wanted at that age, that was fine. Then the next year I got a paper route, and I’ve never stopped working since.
Come to think of it, what an idiot I am!
This is my take on the list.
It is ok to say no to your child. Your child will not love you less or you are not a bad parent if you tell your child not to do something.
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Teaching your child how to draw a happy face using many different colors is a better way to teach the child independence rather then you drawing a happy face with many colors for your child.
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You must set rules for your child to follow. They will not like it and to show their protest they will scream, kick and cry (tantrum). You must be strong through these times because if you give in to the child’s “protesting techniques”, the child will push them further leading to the result of an uncontrollable child in the very immediate future.
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Every child, at least once, says very hurtful things to their parents at least once in their lifetime. The most common being, “I hate you!” Do not worry, these words are said out of frustration and anger. Your child loves you.
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This is mainly for parents whose children constantly ask the ever looping why question. When you tell your child not to shake the cat hard, do not put your finger in the light socket or don’t run across the street, you do not have to constantly explain why. “Because I said so.” is a good enough reason (though a short explanation is very helpful). i.e. “Please don’t shake the cat because it can hurt the cat.”
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Assigning a child some “work” can build positive characteristics. This can range from emptying the garbage, helping you wash the dishes, cooking dinner or help you pick out a tie for work.
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Explaining to your child that they are special and an individual is very important. Be careful though, many make the mistake of giving the child the wrong impression that the universe revolves around them. A good example of this is, when you are on the phone and a child wants your attention right then and there, it is crucial that you tell them to wait for you until you are finished with the call.
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Many children (and adults) do not appreciate the things they have. One tactic you can use in teaching the child this is, when a child throws the toy across the room, tell them to go pick it up and not to throw it again (if it is a toy that is not to be thrown) because it will break and we need to value our things.
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The parent must “stick by their guns” when dealing with punishment. If your child does X and the punishment is Y, you must always, without exception always punish with Y. To better explain, if the punishment for throwing a toy across the room is taking toys away for an hour, the punishment for throwing a toy should always be to take the toys away for an hour. This will teach the child there are repercussions for certain behaviors.
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Preparing your child to live in this world is hard work and takes strength, intelligence and commitment. Giving your child the right tools to be happy is one of the biggest loves a parent can show to their child.
Good job Worryman. I think you nailed it.
It’s not the kid-hating manifesto that some are seeing it to be. Not letting kids run adults’ lives is something that would be SO much better for kids, adults, and society at large. Wish I could send this to my best friend in America without insulting him. He’s a classic example of why this advice is so poignant. Unfortunately, his sense of self-worth is so wound up with his kids that I’d have no better luck changing him than I would his utterly-out-of-control offspring.
Been reading The World is Flat - A Brief History of the 21st Century, and on the topic of things that need to be done in order for societies to adapt to the unprecedented changes which are sweeping the world, it had this to say regarding, of all things, parenting… and I find it extremely relevent to this discussion:
[quote]No discussion of ‘flatism’ would be complete without also discussing the need for improved parenting. Helping individuals adapt to a flat world is not only the job of governments and companies. It is also the job of parents. They too need to know in what world their kids are growing up and what it will take for them to thrive. Put simply, we need a new generation of parents ready to administer tough love: There comes a time when you’ve got to say put away the Game Boys, turn off the television set, put away the iPod, and get your kids down to work.
The sense of entitlement, the sense that because we once dominated global commerce and geopolitics - and Olympic basketball - we always will, the sense that delayed gratification is a punishment worse than a spanking, the sense that our kids have to be swaddled in cotton wool so that nothing bad or disappointing or stressful ever happens to them at school is, quite simply, a growing cancer on American society. And if we don’t start to reverse it, our kids are going to be in for a huge and socially disruptive shock from the flat world. While a different approach by politicians is necessary, it is not sufficient.[/quote]
Totally agree with this point. Parents don’t do their kids any favors by putting their relationship with their kids over their relationship with a spouse. One of the best gifts parents can give their children is an example of a healthy, loving marriage. Too bad most parents today have no concept of the damage they are doing to their kids by neglecting their marriage.
Also, I have to agree with many of the points made in the “Children’s Bill of Rights”, but not necessarily the tone in which they are delivered. Obviously, the author has written them in such a way to counter what he views as today’s overly-permissive parenting styles. However, absolute, strict and unaffectionate parenting is the opposite extreme and equally as bad according to most experts.
Developmental psychologists have concluded that the most well-adjusted children result from “authoritative” parenting:
And here’s the link.