Experiences dating Taiwanese guys?

Life LGBTQ+ Forum
1

Hi. So I’ve heard from different people that you have to be very proactive and assertive as a foreigner (male) dating Taiwanese guys. People have told me that, generally speaking, they always wait for you to take initiative and move the ball forward.

Is this generalization at all true!?

I usually like to be “whisked away” and not do a lot of the advances/ball-pushing-forwardness – but I’ve been told if I am this way nothing will ever happen…I’ll be waiting around for forever. This is impart too because guys assume your Chinese isn’t good and they feel insecure about their English, and so they’re shy, basically.

Thoughts? What has your experience been dating/going on dates with/pursuing guys in Taiwan?

2

I think this is rather true. I also don’t like to always take the initiative but after months of “waiting” for guys online to ask me out on a date, I never got an invitation. It was weird because they seemed interested in me but I always ended up being just an online friend, lol

3

How come I think this totally opposite?

4

I don’t know. Why do you think? What has your experience been?

5

Well… my university is full of gay Taiwanese guys, but they ALL seem too shy to flirt with foreigners.

6

which university (you can pm me, haha)? my university is also known to have a significant gay population too. but haven’t really had much luck dating guys here. many of them are a bit immature for me.

7

In my case I don’t mind if they are a bit immature: I don’t precisely intend to MARRY them… lol :wink:

8

Well, it’s painful to listen to their immature stories, lol. I’ve met a few mature Taiwanese guys and really enjoyed their company. Unfortunately, many of them are a bit more careful when it comes to commitment :frowning:

9

Hey everybody, how’s it going?
After living here for almost 2 years, I can say what Jialin wrote is true. Most of Taiwanese guys are hesitant to move the ball forward. It takes at least 1-2 week(s) before we can have a date with them and then it takes 2-3 dates before they can decided if they want to be your bf.

I have known few Taiwanese gays here and so far my experience is not even close to okay. Some people have good English, but then they are either very busy with their life or very reserved :frowning: . This makes it even more difficult for me to take the next step, especially when we can’t find the convenient time to have a date.

I have even tried 2-3 approaches, but I got mixed responses. LOL I’m so confused now.

10

Hi, my experience of Taiwanese guys is that they are often too reserved, a bit fake, moody for no apparent reason, and completely spineless when it comes to dealing with their family, in this regard you’ll always come second, and they often won’t tell you the truth in fear of losing their precious face, so be wary and always use a condom with them even after dating one for a long time. Obviously there are exceptions, but this is my general experience and my friend’s experiences.

2 Likes
11

I’m a Taiwanese and if it was me reading the sign, foreigners often make the move first before us did. We actually dont DATE that much and even if we hang out the foreigner well we dont jump to the conclusion so soon saying that ok he could be my bf. I mean, how can you be so reckless if you wanna make a commitment. (I know dating is not like marriage but still it’s a relationship that u need to focus on, isn’t it?) Some taiwanese guys are quite introvert even they have no problem in en speaking and just as the jbpx saying very “spineless” when facing the family issue. and I believe many young gays are still virgin. From my experience, the guys able to communicate fluently with foreigners often are white collar or major in language related fields, and these groups of people often have strong connection with their family or still in the economic reign of their parents, maybe that’s why they choose to stay in the closet even to their best friends, not to mention the family. And they stay in the little comfort bubble built by their parents for too long, so long that they dont know how to flirt or doesn’t even have diverse life to share, they work or study for the most of the life, you can’t blame too much on them for being a dummy nerd.

as myself, i’m out to all my friends and family, and I coudn’t care less to know their thoughts to my orientation, positive or negative, I dont care. But still I’m a hard working person who might work during weekend, not a crime to earn money for a luxurious dinner with bf, right?

Feel free to date me and I really love stubbled mid age guy. YUMMY! :slight_smile:

12

They fall in love at the drop of a hat. They lie. They usually will read your emails if they can get an opportunity and have no conception of privacy. They are shallow mostly and don’t really have anything deep to discuss or have a conversation about other than shopping, shopping and japanese culture.
there is a really good article that i agree with alot about taiwanese straight women and it reminds me alot about taiwanese gay men you can see it here
ck101.com/thread-2753581-1-1.html

1 Like
13

[quote=“chen95982000”]I’m a Taiwanese and if it was me reading the sign, foreigners often make the move first before us did. We actually dont DATE that much and even if we hang out the foreigner well we dont jump to the conclusion so soon saying that ok he could be my bf. I mean, how can you be so reckless if you wanna make a commitment. (I know dating is not like marriage but still it’s a relationship that u need to focus on, isn’t it?) Some taiwanese guys are quite introvert even they have no problem in en speaking and just as the jbpx saying very “spineless” when facing the family issue. and I believe many young gays are still virgin. From my experience, the guys able to communicate fluently with foreigners often are white collar or major in language related fields, and these groups of people often have strong connection with their family or still in the economic reign of their parents, maybe that’s why they choose to stay in the closet even to their best friends, not to mention the family. And they stay in the little comfort bubble built by their parents for too long, so long that they dont know how to flirt or doesn’t even have diverse life to share, they work or study for the most of the life, you can’t blame too much on them for being a dummy nerd.

as myself, I’m out to all my friends and family, and I coudn’t care less to know their thoughts to my orientation, positive or negative, I don’t care. But still I’m a hard working person who might work during weekend, not a crime to earn money for a luxurious dinner with bf, right?

Feel free to date me and I really love stubbled mid age guy. YUMMY! :slight_smile:[/quote]

What do you mean you don’t date much? Taiwanese don’t date? That’s a preposterous wrong statement. Unless you mean Taiwanese like to skip dating and jump to boyfriend/boyfriend then i would agree.
many young gays are still virgin
Not true and what evidence do you have to back this up. There are virgins everywhere but taiwanese are just as forward about sex if not more than any other Asian country they are just not as explicit as foreigners are. It’s about shame.
And many foreigners in taiwan speak chinese so we actually are able to meet people other than white collar workers. But rule of thumb if you want to date a foreigner don’t expect him to hide in the closet and live in denial and want to hide your whole relationship your entire life.

14

not true for all but i would agree that many are like that. However, those smart gays I met tend to be a bit boring, in my opinion. Can’t seem to find a guy who knows how to balance work and leisure well

15

[quote=“ramleeburger”]
there is a really good article that I agree with alot about taiwanese straight women and it reminds me alot about taiwanese gay men you can see it here
ck101.com/thread-2753581-1-1.html[/quote]
anyway, thanks for this link buddy. i was nodding my head the whole time while reading it…

16

[quote=“ramleeburger”][quote=“chen95982000”]I’m a Taiwanese and if it was me reading the sign, foreigners often make the move first before us did. We actually dont DATE that much and even if we hang out the foreigner well we dont jump to the conclusion so soon saying that ok he could be my bf. I mean, how can you be so reckless if you wanna make a commitment. (I know dating is not like marriage but still it’s a relationship that u need to focus on, isn’t it?) Some taiwanese guys are quite introvert even they have no problem in en speaking and just as the jbpx saying very “spineless” when facing the family issue. and I believe many young gays are still virgin. From my experience, the guys able to communicate fluently with foreigners often are white collar or major in language related fields, and these groups of people often have strong connection with their family or still in the economic reign of their parents, maybe that’s why they choose to stay in the closet even to their best friends, not to mention the family. And they stay in the little comfort bubble built by their parents for too long, so long that they dont know how to flirt or doesn’t even have diverse life to share, they work or study for the most of the life, you can’t blame too much on them for being a dummy nerd.

as myself, I’m out to all my friends and family, and I coudn’t care less to know their thoughts to my orientation, positive or negative, I don’t care. But still I’m a hard working person who might work during weekend, not a crime to earn money for a luxurious dinner with bf, right?

Feel free to date me and I really love stubbled mid age guy. YUMMY! :slight_smile:[/quote]

What do you mean you don’t date much? Taiwanese don’t date? That’s a preposterous wrong statement. Unless you mean Taiwanese like to skip dating and jump to boyfriend/boyfriend then I would agree.
many young gays are still virgin
Not true and what evidence do you have to back this up. There are virgins everywhere but taiwanese are just as forward about sex if not more than any other Asian country they are just not as explicit as foreigners are. It’s about shame.
And many foreigners in taiwan speak chinese so we actually are able to meet people other than white collar workers. But rule of thumb if you want to date a foreigner don’t expect him to hide in the closet and live in denial and want to hide your whole relationship your entire life.[/quote]

what i mean by “we dont date that much” is that Taiwanese often live on their personal life first, and that means hanging out with friends that we already have or dealing with workload, if it comes to the dilemma between a dinner invitation to a foreigner that we never met and a good friend’s birthday party, then most ppl probably choose the latter one. Go to gay section on PTT(the biggest BBS site in Taiwan) and check people’s self-introduction, many claimed that they never have a bf before and never hv a hookup either. (my definition of young gay men: age under 30, also the major user group on PTT) So I envy and congratulate that you luckily met some liberal gays who are open to sex and feel easy to talk about it in public. My experience is that these college (or even high school) young gays or guys are only open to sex verbally, but not physically, they can talk jokes abt dicks and pussy all day long but they mostly have moral issue on one night stand and even cagey about whether they had sex with their bf/gf or not. so i’m sorry for not understanding this “Taiwanese are just as forward about sex” part, cuz in my life they really aren’t. Even if you met someone very promiscuous or well experienced in sex then ask him if he’s totally out, then 90% of the answer is no they are not, and they dont want to talk about the future life with you cuz you’re just a sex buddy, or ok you become the right one but still he wont have enough courage to introduce you to his family, which break your “rule of thumb” immediately.

17

I think you are just speaking for your own personal self here. Also I don’t think you understand the point literally cause it sounds like your lost in translation. You wrote he wont have enough courage to introduce you to his family which was exactly the point I was making. That many Taiwanese don’'t have integrity to be their genuine selves to their families and friends and pride saving face over honesty. Maybe in your life and your circle of friends are conservative but many contemporary Taiwanese who live in big cities are having sex. They are going to saunas. It’s not just verbal. If want a reality check just download grindr , Jack’d, make a manhunt profile or planetromeo profile and see all the sex thats going on there. I’m not saying every gay uses and goes to these places but a lot of Taiwanese city gays do. They may be shy and discreet about it in comparison to Westerners or Europeans but theyr out there fucking just like gays in any other country do.

RE:
Even if you met someone very promiscuous or well experienced in sex then ask him if he’s totally out, then 90% of the answer is no they are not

I never said they were not out. :S ???

they dont want to talk about the future life with you cuz you’re just a sex buddy?

Maybe this is your personal situation but speaking to many of my foreigner friends Taiwanese gays are attach quite easily and after a fleeting one date or two sexual encounter want to move quickly into long term committed relationships without even getting to know each other first.

This is not just my experience many foreigners have the same repeated experience of Taiwanese jumping into something to fast or declaring love after just a short time or one or two dates even and becoming really possessive and jealous.

Don’t know how you proved that breaks my rule of thumb. I don’t think you understood the meaning of what I wrote.

:I

18

My experience is that Taiwanese gay guys are very, painfully, awkwardly shy.

I find even the ones who are ‘into’ foreigners are like this. A lot of times I notice people staring at me in bars, and clubs. My friend will say, ‘hey, that guy is really checking you out’. But if I look over, the guy will avert his eyes.

Often I’ll go out to a bar, nothing will happen, I’ll go home, open Grindr/Jackd/whatever, and get a load of messages of the variety, ‘oh hey, I saw you in XXXX bar. You are handsome. Haha.’ But they’re literally too shy to come say ‘hi’ in a bar.

Even those times when I bring a guy home, he’ll often be giggling nervously like a school-girl, repeating the word ‘shy’, and avoiding eye contact. Sometimes, that continues even after several minutes of snogging.

Obviously, not all Taiwanese guys are like this, but quite a lot. I do think it’s quite cute in a way and I do appreciate it, but sometimes I want a man to just take control a bit too!

I’ve also noticed that when you date a Taiwanese boy, they get full on quite quickly. I’ll go on a date, only to come home, open my Line, and find messages from my date like, ‘so, what do you think of me? Do you think I’m handsome? Would I make a good bf?’

Having said all that, there’s a noticeable difference between most Taiwanese gays and the ones who actively seek out foreigners. Those guys are more confident, and act more like Westerners too.

19

Maybe it’s because they actually don’t have any experience in dating foreigner, and all their hope are based on some romantic movies or (false) reputation about foreigners. They just want to have a relationship like in a movie, but they don’t know what it is to date someone ^^ Or maybe they dream to go abroad but they can’t so it’s just a way to realize this dream somehow.

Personally I don’t like taiwanese who are “into foreigners”, because it sounds like they see you as a foreigner and not for who you really are. It could be another foreigner they would feel the same, so it’s pretty insulting. I prefer taiwanese who are “open” to anyone.

20

Me too definitely. I’ve dated guys who are into foreigners and it’s disconcerting when they’re texting in front of me and most of their contacts on Line are white guys. I get the feeling they just want a white guy to show off to their friends.