Fashion Faux Pas and Fallacies

#1

I’m no fashionista – I lounge about the house in the same boxers day after day and wear some of the same clothes I wore when I first got off the ship. But lately I’ve gleaned some fashion insights from those around me. I hope no one will be offended if I share a few; if your forumosan friends can’t say it, who can? Here’s what I’ve discovered:

For the Ladies:

  • If you’ve got a fat ass, no amount of black clothing will hide it.

  • If you’re ugly, no quantity of Chanel bags, Gucci belts and LV accessories will hide it.

  • If you’ve got a fat belly, what the hell are you doing wearing a belly-button bearing shirt? Those are for skinny girls.

  • If it takes you an hour to squeeze into your bras, girdles, slips, corsets, braces, heels and god knows what else, so you can walk the catwalk with all your body parts squeezed, twisted, conformed, lifted, louvered and thrust in just the right direction that you believe you’re radiating an aura of sexiness, forget it – anyone can tell that once all the crap comes off you’ll melt back to the ordinary blob that you were before. Maybe you’d be better off without all the effort.

  • What’s with the tatooed eyebrows? It’s one thing for a frumpy 50 year-old housewife who’s never been out of the country, so she doesn’t know how ridiculous it looks, but on an otherwise attractive young woman?

  • Emaciation is not beautiful.

For the Guys:

  • That Aramni shirt does not look classy.

  • White socks with a suit? For god’s sake, that’s elementary.

  • If you’ve only got three hairs on your head, it makes no difference if you twirl them into a little nest. Nor does jet-black hair dye on the geriatrics fool anyone.

Sorry I can’t think of more for the guys; I guess I notice the ladies more. Feel free to contribute.

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#2

Busy day at work eh? :laughing:

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#3

Boss is in China. :slight_smile:

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#4

For the Guys:

LV bags of any sort are not for men. Carrying one marks you out as a Nancyboy.

For the Ladies:

LV bags of any sort are not for ladies. Carrying one marks you out as a stuck up, materialistic bitch.

Has anyone seen men carrying LV bags in Taiwan? I see this every now and then in HK. I’ve always thought that back in the west, men would never carry an LV bag. Am I wrong?

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#5

“highpanting” seems to be a Taiwanese guy thing - the older the higher the belt gets till it somewhere under the armpits for some guys :idunno:
Girls in totally non-functional footwear: 6" high fluffy mules on the scooter, perspex sole platforms for cycling the kids to school and gumboots anywhere outside central Taipei :thumbsdown:

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#6

Men: Wearing the cell phone on the belt. It is ok if you are a master tradesmen (not too many in Taiwan), but it just looks wrong when white-collar workers wear it on their belt.

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#7

[quote=“Jive Turkey”]For the Guys:

LV bags of any sort are not for men. Carrying one marks you out as a Nancyboy.

For the Ladies:

LV bags of any sort are not for ladies. Carrying one marks you out as a stuck up, materialistic bitch. [/quote]

Oh, yeah. I forgot about the guys carrying shaving kits. :laughing:

I knew a lawyer in California who took to carrying a small shiny leather satchel – a purse – in the early '90s. All the other guys in the office teased him about it and he responded by telling them it was imported italian leather, as if that would make it different. I felt sorry for the guy. Either his wife bought him this fancy present or he bought it thinking it was cool, but then his coworkers shamed him over it, so he quit carrying it. Oh well.

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#8

Sorry to go against the grain in this thread, but, I think fashion, like sexual preference, is a personal matter… and I couldn’t care less what anyone wears or carries or shows, or how anyone does their hair… Wanna dye your hair bright green and orange, that’s fine by me. Nothing about fashion, or whatever is regarded as a lack of it, bothers me.

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#9

Spoil sport. Did I strike a nerve? Do you own an LV bag? :wink:

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#10

:laughing: Hahaha! Nah, I don’t even use a wallet. I just put my money in my pocket, and I have fastened my keys on a chain that I wear around my neck so I don’t lose them. I don’t wear a watch or any rings or necklaces. I don’t comb my hair and I shave only once a week or ten days. I just wear clothes and whatever shoes I am comfortable with… usually sandals unless at work.

But, who am I to judge what someone else wears or how they wear their hair? Ane more importantly, why would I care?

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#11

Guys and girls carrying cute little water bottles with them. Are they on safari or what?

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#12

[quote]Sorry to go against the grain in this thread, but, I think fashion, like sexual preference, is a personal matter… and I couldn’t care less what anyone wears or carries or shows, or how anyone does their hair… Wanna dye your hair bright green and orange, that’s fine by me. Nothing about fashion, or whatever is regarded as a lack of it, bothers me.
[/quote]

This has been a paid political broadcast by the resident President of the GlassHouse.

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#13

I’m with you Tigger, right up to the white socks and black suit and LV anything (Jive, that’s a very annoying HK thing methinks).

By the way, as far as crap women’s fashion goes, HK is in it’s own little world. The weirdest is the young lasses and their scrappy punk look . . . then there’s the cocktail circuit tai tais - ugly on any measure you care to apply.

HG

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#14

[quote=“Fox”]
This has been a paid political broadcast by the resident President of the GlassHouse.[/quote]

Either that or I’m the black pot.

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#15

[quote=“Mother Theresa”]
Boss is in China. :slight_smile:[/quote]Buying more Aramni shirts? :wink:

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#16

[quote=“Huang Guang Chen”]By the way, as far as crap women’s fashion goes, HK is in it’s own little world. The weirdest is the young lasses and their scrappy punk look . . .
[/quote]

Oooh, but, I should think that would be charming.

I actually get quite a kick from looking at girls and the get-ups they come up with.

Fashion smashion. Its all good, IMO.

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#17

[quote]Fox wrote:

This has been a paid political broadcast by the resident President of the GlassHouse.

Either that or I’m the black pot.
[/quote]
:slight_smile:

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#18

[quote=“Huang Guang Chen”]I’m with you Tigger, right up to the white socks and black suit and LV anything (Jive, that’s a very annoying HK thing methinks).

By the way, as far as crap women’s fashion goes, HK is in it’s own little world. The weirdest is the young lasses and their scrappy punk look . . . then there’s the cocktail circuit tai tais - ugly on any measure you care to apply.

HG[/quote]

But, come on, you must admit that the folks in Honkers at least try to have a little style…despite the fact that the girls there are generally fuglier than Taiwanese chicks by several orders of magnitude, I’m always transfixed whenever I’m there by their (both men AND women) vastly superior style sense…
Definitely an improvement over The Polyester Graveyard…

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#19

Maybe my memory isn’t serving me well, but I’ll gleefully trade a day’s leering in HK’s Central for a minute on Nanjing East.

I have a theory about the fugliness of HK lasses. I suspect it’s an evolution thing. Since this place was once basically a giant pirate’s nest, it makes sense that the better looking lasses were all taken away and defiled leaving a horrid concentration of the fuglies to replicate here.

As for the blokes, a bunch of nancyboys with manbags, cufflinks and cartoon character hairdos just don’t do it for me.

HG

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#20

Summer is almost here and that means lighter colors and lighter fabrics. For the office, loose cotton trousers or airy mid-length skirts in pastels or earth tones. Penny loafers or open toed footwear. Flats or heals—it’s your choice. You can be as just as daring as your company policy permits. Of course, your company wouldn’t dare say anything about a tasteful bare-shouldered blouse with corporate frills about the buttons. Or, for the gentleman, a tight-fitting almost see-through shirt with an unbuttoned open chest. Now there’s management material.

And for the time that belongs to you and you alone. (And you alone with that special ‘someone’.) Whether walking along the beach, strolling amidst mountain foothills, or simply wandering in front of a row of shop windows. You will be the one being window shopped in your breezy shorts and playful tank top. Skipping down the sidewalk, innocently swinging your name-brand handbag, all eyes will be wistfully on you. And some of those eyes will belong to men with close-cropped hair, sleeveless T’s, and cotton shorts. Greek perfection in strong sandaled feet.

Things are just beginning to heat up!

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