Fast ones you've pulled on the locals

When I started working in a certain non-education-related industry in Taiwan, I had to provide a letter from my former employer, addressed to the relavent Ministry, stating that I had worked at least 3 years in that industry.

No experience? No problem! I drafted a letter from my “boss”, Mr. George Castanza, providing the needed information. Under the letterhead of Vandelay Industries. This letter is now on file in the bowels of the Ministry in question. Guess they don’t watch Seinfeld.

Then there’s the legend of the English teacher who gave his adult student, an arrogant young businessman, the English name of Anus. Anus Chang. The guy had business cards printed up and applied for a credit card under this name.

What mean or whimsical things have YOU done to unsuspecting locals?

The legend of the most moronic English teacher in the universe!
Personally, I don’t think there is any fun in pulling something like this on someone who doesn’t speak the linguo, I had joke pulled like this on me when I was a little boy, because I was a foreigner and couol’d speak the language and trust me, it isn’t fun. But, there are always idiots everywhere.
Don’t get me wrong, I love humor and jokes and all that stuff but not everything makes me laugh.

Never felt the need for it!

my kinda guy! well, i did nothing mean but plenty for survival. chinese school for extention visa. never had to go to class. you just sign your name 20 times, switching pens every couple of lines so it doesn’t look like you did it all on the same day.
i have a belief: people ask you for info that they HAVE NO WAY OF FINDING OUT. so why give it to them?

vehicle registration: and how much did you pay for the car?
answer: 1000US (real price 3000).
they have no fucking way to find out a lot of stuff, so don’t give people an excuse not to give you what you need!

badda bing! :wink:

and bada boom! i used to be naively honest til i found out that the people who make the rules don’t even obey them. some of them aren’t in OUR best interests, so i buck em.
any of you guys wanna do something dangerous? i’m in the mood for that kinds stuff.

Met a kiwi once who’d been kicked out of Taiwan (something drug related, don’t remember the details). This didn’t sit well with him, so he changed his name, got a new passport and, voila, came back again.

[quote=“rantheman”]my kinda guy! well, I did nothing mean but plenty for survival. Chinese school for extention visa. never had to go to class. you just sign your name 20 times, switching pens every couple of lines so it doesn’t look like you did it all on the same day.
[/quote]

Can you elaborate on this procedure? I’m going to be moving from a smaller town to Taipei at about the same time my two month visa will expire. Thus, while I was to enroll in a language school to learn Chinese, I might not have time to enroll in one fast enough for an extension visa due to the moving. I’d love to find a creative way to save that open ticket to Hong Kong for future use.

Thank you. :notworthy:

violet,
the “school” that i went to was really an office. she charged 4000NT for a student visa. of course you know the extensions. the cops looked at my sheet and said “oh wendy’s office” (she’s probably in jail now). but they didn’t care. my friend in MOFA told me as long as foreigners come here and spend money they don’t care!!
if you’re moving to yung ho (God’s country) you go to the police station in ban chiao for your stamp. they are darn nice.
search china post for language schools. find the one that’s approved but looks the most seedy. find a way to ask if you "have to’ go to class.
AND NEVER EVER speak good chinese to the police station if you’re here studying chinese. i even got asked “what do you need to study for?”. be careful.
also don’t overstay! it’s a nightmare! i spent a month and a half in HK for that and almost couldn’t come back.

My eyes must not be working this morning. I could have sworn the title of this thread was “Fat ones you’ve pulled on the locals.”

Well, Chewy? I’m kind of surprised you didn’t answer the question… :smiling_imp: :wink:

[quote=“Sam Vimes”]When I started working in a certain non-education-related industry in Taiwan, I had to provide a letter from my former employer, addressed to the relavent Ministry, stating that I had worked at least 3 years in that industry.

No experience? No problem! I drafted a letter from my “boss”, Mr. George Castanza, providing the needed information. Under the letterhead of Vandelay Industries. This letter is now on file in the bowels of the Ministry in question. Guess they don’t watch Seinfeld.

Then there’s the legend of the English teacher who gave his adult student, an arrogant young businessman, the English name of Anus. Anus Chang. The guy had business cards printed up and applied for a credit card under this name.

What mean or whimsical things have YOU done to unsuspecting locals?[/quote]

And you want to be our Gortex salesman?

um . . . no? :s

Chips.

um . . . no? :s[/quote]

It’s latex isn’t it.

um . . . no? :s[/quote]

It’s latex isn’t it.[/quote]

Ah. Gotcha.

Another thing I did in Taipei, but more of a fast one on a fellow foreigner than on the locals involved: a guy from New York named Richard took over one of my classes while I was in HK. He styled himself as kind of a tough guy, and boasted of being from “Hell’s Kitchen”.

Anyway, before he took over my class, I told my students that the substitute teacher’s name was Richard, but he really preferred being called “Dicky”. (He had told his hostel-mates earlier that he absolutely hated, hated, hated, that nickname.) So he introduces himself to the class, says his name is Richard, but has 20 or so people calling him “Dicky” all week.

[quote=“rantheman”]violet,
the “school” that I went to was really an office. she charged 4000NT for a student visa. of course you know the extensions. the cops looked at my sheet and said “oh wendy’s office” (she’s probably in jail now). but they didn’t care. my friend in MOFA told me as long as foreigners come here and spend money they don’t care!!
if you’re moving to Yonghe (God’s country) you go to the police station in Banqiao for your stamp. they are darn nice.
search China post for language schools. find the one that’s approved but looks the most seedy. find a way to ask if you "have to’ go to class.
AND NEVER EVER speak good Chinese to the police station if you’re here studying Chinese. i even got asked “what do you need to study for?”. be careful.
also don’t overstay! it’s a nightmare! i spent a month and a half in HK for that and almost couldn’t come back.[/quote]

What do you mean “overstay”?

BTW, what did you do for a month and a half in HK?

overstay means to stay past the date stamped on your visa. it’s a serious excuse for them not to let you back into taiwan.

[quote=“Sam Vimes”]
Another thing I did in Taipei, but more of a fast one on a fellow foreigner than on the locals involved: a guy from New York named Richard took over one of my classes while I was in HK. He styled himself as kind of a tough guy, and boasted of being from “Hell’s Kitchen”.

Anyway, before he took over my class, I told my students that the substitute teacher’s name was Richard, but he really preferred being called “Dicky”. (He had told his hostel-mates earlier that he absolutely hated, hated, hated, that nickname.) So he introduces himself to the class, says his name is Richard, but has 20 or so people calling him “Dicky” all week.[/quote]

So, you’re not exactly the nicest guy in the world. I’ll stick to my current plan of staying the hell away from every other foriegner here.

[quote=“axiom”]
So, you’re not exactly the nicest guy in the world. I’ll stick to my current plan of staying the hell away from every other foriegner here.[/quote]

:unamused: It was a joke, son–Richard thought it was funny once he figured out what was going on.

If you’re the kind of pale, earnest, thin-skinned Shi-Da student I’ve met so often who’s arrogant about his own cultural insights and language skills and despises every other foreigner who treads foot in his private Shangri-La . . .

. . . why then, yes, please do stay away. We’d appreciate it.

Yeah, this thread is the epitome of meanness. :raspberry: