Ok, where do I go from here? I’ve made my second attempt at passing level 0 at Chengung Daxue, and failed once again to even make it to level 1. Sigh. Up until lesson 5, I could at least grasp 90% of the speaking, listening, and grammar. Since lesson 6, I am utterly in the dark with no clue as to what is going on and no ability to respond to or understand anything in anyway. I’ve tried a few private teachers, but I also get quickly lost. I’ve always done very well academically 3.8 for a B.A., 3.7 for an M.A. I’ve successfully gained a high level of proficiency in German. I’m putting serious time and effort into it but I feel like I’m often just spinning my wheels. Here in Tainan Chengung Uni is the only place to study, so I don’t have another choice in schools.
Writing is my main problem. I just do not seem to have the ability to retain in my memory how to write the characters. My teacher just says to practice more. I’ve written some of these characters for 5 pages of one of those writing practice books. I have one of those “Fun with Chinese Characters” books that tells you a little about the history of the character. I enjoy reading it, but it doesn’t seem to improve my retention level. I usually remember a new character for a week or so, then I begin to mix it with other characters or forget it all together. I’d say I usually write about 1% of the characters in the class correctly at this point.
I actually started to cry in class today. I’m fine now; it was more a release of tension and stress than anything. My mind was in a total fugue state.
One of my goals in coming to Taiwan was to gain a basic level of proficiency in Chinese, and I really love the look and feel of the characters. I’m usually a “visual” learner and I usually have to see it written down (in English) to understand it. But I feel like I’m losing access to learning the speaking and reading because I can’t make a connection with the characters.
When should you just decide that for whatever reason you lack the ability to learn Chinese? When should I determine that enough is enough already and give it up?
The hopefully-not-retarded but definitely-depressed, alwayslol.