Female turn ons

More open-minded than who?[/quote]

You will not hear me saying something vs other nationalities: noway:
This is personal related, and for what I understood from Notsu, she was probably more open-minded than here boyfriends.

I thought that being “creative” is also something females expect…
Dutch and Belgians are talking about sex openly as they discuss the weather, which is not like that for all of us, depending culture, education, allowed age to have sex etc…

Great stuff . . or I think so.

Nice list Bodo (and others - Notsu also a special mention), I do have my very passionate kiss technique down pat but the tonsil cleanse is not part of my personal reportoire (sp?). More a sliding of lips, exploration of sorts. Innit funny when you love someone you like their breath, their taste, their smell.

Sooo agree with the hair pull . . combined with a firm hug and a gentle pulling to the back of the hair . . add some light scratching of the back of the head like when the hairdresser washes your hair.

I don’t know, but I think this leads to another dimension. In my experience, excluding the farting hippie, women like to feel “protected” that sounds misogynist but what I mean is safe from threats, both from you (obvioulsy, or sometimes not) and the world. It’s a traditional male role and I’m yet to find a woman that doesn’t respond favourably to it.
Chivalry, as mesntioned is a prt of this, I guess.

Damn, wish my lass was around now.

HG

[quote=“kellohitty”]1)
I would agree that compliments are a turn on. It doesn’t have to be just verbal. You can tell her with a look, with a whistle. Exaggerate, we don’t mind. Joke with her with extravagant compliments, we’ll think there is some partial truth in it.[/quote] How many times have you had “Hey baby, that ass is looking fine” said to you? :laughing: Man I hate HATE it when men whistle or make some comment. Just say “Oh you look nice”

[quote]
2)
Refer to her as your lady or something chilverous. We like chilvary. I think the men have lost that over the years. Like opening doors and letting the ladies through first, or to get into cars.[/quote] Jesus does that even exsist anymore.:astonished: I thought feminism took care of that. :laughing:

[quote]
3)
I would also agree that smell is important. I love the smell of my man. Please smell clean. Cologne is nice when used very very sparingly. I should only be able to smell a hint of it.[/quote] Hit the nail on the head there. Darakkar smells OHHHHH soo good on a man. Yummmm

[quote]
6)
A sense of humour is a turn on. But then, it also takes a compatible girl who understands and appreciates your humour. So, not everyone will get it.[/quote] Yep, but remember that fart jokes and bleching contests with your friends when we’re in the room doen’t count toward good humor.

Women want a man who’s a gentleman in the streets and beast in the bed.

Men want a a woman who’s a lady in the streets and a freak in the bed.

Preferably the same person.

[quote=“Namahottie”][quote=“kellohitty”]1)
I would agree that compliments are a turn on. It doesn’t have to be just verbal. You can tell her with a look, with a whistle. Exaggerate, we don’t mind. Joke with her with extravagant compliments, we’ll think there is some partial truth in it.[/quote] How many times have you had “Hey baby, that ass is looking fine” said to you? :laughing: Man I hate HATE it when men whistle or make some comment. Just say “Oh you look nice” [/quote]
I think somewhere in between is good. No extravagant compliments, that just makes you seem insincere. A specific compliment is good, like “you look nice in that shirt” or “I like the way you did your hair today”

[quote=“Namahottie”][quote=“kellohitty”]
2)
Refer to her as your lady or something chilverous. We like chilvary. I think the men have lost that over the years. Like opening doors and letting the ladies through first, or to get into cars.[/quote] Jesus does that even exsist anymore.:astonished: I thought feminism took care of that. :laughing:[/quote]
Again, no extravagant acts of chilvary are really needed, i.e. continued reference to her as “milady” or throwing your coat on a puddle so she doesn’t get her shoes wet. I think a girl would just find you very weird if you kept referring to her as “milady”. But opening doors is good. Yes. Yes. And walking her out/driving her home.

Esp. when you’re about to engage in sex. Sometimes it’s good to fool around a bit first and not just be like, “let me stick it in now now now!” :stuck_out_tongue:

Can’t agree more. I hate guys who go on incessantly about their exs. “My ex this…my ex that…”

Groans and grunts are good. But not pornstar moaning. No high-pitched “oh! oh! oh! oh!” etc. That’s just kind of disturbing coming from a guy. :smiley:

Also, I’d like to add:

a) Eye contact. Focus on the person you’re talking to. Don’t look around and play with your shirt or something. Make the girl feel like she is important and that you really want to know what she has to say. But don’t stare her down or anything. Winks are cute sometimes too.

b) Think of her/do things without being asked to. It’s nice to be surprised.

c) Long hair! Hair-cuts are evil and ought to be banned. But if you have the misfortune of having short hair, be sure to keep it free of grease. Greasy hair is gross. Wash yer hair. Fluffiness…!

All right now, I see none of the women are truly givin it up . . . .

women like mystery . . . . suspense . . . . surprise . . . . . in good taste and moderation of course . . .

glances/smiles . . . . eye contact or a smile from across the room . . . . usually works best if there’s a relationship already in place . . . . let your eyes meet . . . . and then smile or go over her with your eyes . . . . from head to toe . . . . let her know you are admiring her/that you admire her and I’m talking about her physical features NOT her mind (although that’s nice too) . . . . never ever touch except with the eyes . . . .

occasionally, grab her and passionately kiss her at a time and place that is unusual . . . . for example at dinner party . . . . pull her into a room off to the side, and lay it on her . . . . then return to the party and let her smolder . . . . maybe suggest you meet later in the evening to pick up where you left off . . . . you will get a smack if she is not into you, and truly I only recommend this with someone you already got something going with . . . .

I seem torecall Boris becker having some degree of success with this approach. Umm, didn’t pan out all too well.

Kidding, nice stuff Bodo.

HG

I am basing my comments on men who are close to me and I

[quote=“Bodo”]You all know what a woman’s largest sex organ is don’t you?

the BRAIN
[/quote]

Yep . . . when a woman’s imagination is engaged, then erotic response is very straightforward. Here is an example of just how that works . . . Why an Orgasm is all in the Mind (http://briandavidphillips.typepad.com/brian/2004/09/why_an_orgasm_r.html).

This is particularly true when you’re in an ongoing committed relationship as we build shortcuts to emotional responses all the time. For instance, those of you who have a lover with whom you have had . . . romantic . . . responses with (that means erotic for those who don’t catch the drift) there is probably a certain way, a particular body posture or touch or look or nibble on the ear, whatever with which you signal romantic interest or your lover signals his or her interest. Most of us have a certain way our lover can look at us that signals sexual desire and immediately initiates an erotic or at least romantic response in us. For instance, if “your” woman gently places her hand upon your arm or leg and looks into your eyes, perhaps gently biting her lower lip as she ever so slightly tilts her head to one side, that might elicit and erotic response and over time we might begin to associate that look and pose and action with our own erotic responses. Most women find that when they’ve been with a man with whom they have a passionate loving experience over time that they find themselves responding to certain behaviors automatically. So, every time he holds her in a certain way, perhaps the right hand on her left side just over the hip on the back and his left arm wrapped around her and resting over her upper back so his fingers trace a gentle soft whisper of a touch upon her neck below her left ear and as he pulls her hips to his and gently bends her body back into a long deep soulful kiss and her eyes almost automatically close as her entire body seems to melt in that one instant as what may have been a neutral state before gives way to a fire, a passion, a burning need for him right then and right now. Over time, as this behavior is repeated, it becomes a trigger response set . . . Pavlov’s dog without the food but the bell eliciting instead of drooling but a burning response.

We do this naturally . . . to the point that we don’t even notice it anymore, it just happens.

Of course, one can do it overtly or covertly with others once you know what the mechanism is. So, every time your boyfriend takes out the garbage you kiss him deeply and say “thank you” (be careful about inadvertently setting erotic responses to garbage though, take it easy) or every time your girlfriend is aroused you whisper in a certain way or touch her in a certain place and then as she is becoming more aroused you gently move your finger up her arm and look her deeply and passionately in the eyes and say “feel that even more” or whatever so that she associates that moving or sliding measure to an increase in passionate response (setting and then sliding anchors, for those familiar with the terms from neurolinguistic programming).

So, once you’ve answered what turns a woman on, you can create contexts for that arousal and set anchors to increase her pleasure (which increases your own). These don’t even have to be erogenous zones - that is, physical pleasure locations or obvious sexual points - for a woman to find touch or caressing or the like pleasurable. Gentle whispers or gentle soft blowing on the side of the neck or elsewhere can be very much a turn on for many women . . . once an appropriate relationship has been established and a context based conditioned response set has been appropriately built.

Of course, while it can be delightful to have a caring and loving relationship so that one knows that one can appropriately create an erotic response even with a single word (not even a so-called four letter or colorful word), certain areas of the body are certainly fun to play with . . . nipples are wonderful little buttons (tender buttons as Gertrude Stein called them in her book) and can also demonstrate the whole mind-body connection thing very very powerfully . . . supercharged erotic connections, so to speak . . . a couple specific examples:

Nipple Meditation (http://briandavidphillips.typepad.com/brian/2004/08/nipple_hypnosis.html)

Nipple Buttons (http://briandavidphillips.typepad.com/brian/2004/07/nipple_buttons.html)

Now, if you really want to see how wonderfully a woman can respond in a very powerful and sexual way merely by using her imagination, then there is always the “no touch orgasm” . . . it can work with men but I have found women to be very very responsive to imaginative stimulation alone to the point that most women can not only learn to become extremely sexually aroused merely through guided imagination (and there are indeed patterns that one can use to help a woman achieve just this), but many (well, every woman I’ve ever done this with) can also learn to achieve orgasm through words alone . . . no touch . . . just listening to your words and imagining so vividly that their bodies respond powerfully in fullblown orgasm and climax. Good stuff:

The NO TOUCH Hypnotic Orgasm and How to Achieve It (http://briandavidphillips.typepad.com/brian/2005/08/the_no_touch_hy.html)

Hypno-Orgasm and Trance-Pleasure (straightforward processes and how to do them) (http://briandavidphillips.typepad.com/brian/2005/08/hypnoorgasm_and.html)

No, you don’t have to be a full blown hypnotist to do this sort of stuff with an appropriate partner. Yes, I’ve taught hypnotists how to do it (I do a lot of hypnosis training type stuff) but for this sort of couples stuff, one need only have a willing and open mind and an appropriate partner to practice with. In all honesty, those with an interest can check the links I’ve included above . . . or the whole archive at http://briandavidphillips.typepad.com/brian/hypnosis_erotic_and_sexual/index.html as there really is enough there to get you started (of course, when my book comes out, buy it). :slight_smile: However, if anyone is interested in attending the next full workshop I will be teaching on this subject to members of the public, I have one coming up for five evenings in Taipei during the week of Valentine’s Day (kind of a week-long Valentine’s Gift for oneself and one’s significant other). It’s intended for couples but singles may join the class (signing up with a practice partner is a good idea as it’s a practical course with both demonstration and practice and some folks are uncomfortable having a stranger of the same sex talk them through an orgasm). That bit is just for your information as it is on topic and of interest to some, the meat of this post is above and nonpromotional while the resources linked do have a lot on this stuff so that many folks can learn to do it with an appropriate willing partner without taking a course.

If you have questions, please feel free to post them (or email). This is a topic I can go on and on and on about. Pleasure experience engineering is just an inherently interesting topic . . . and pasttime.

All the best,
Brian

-A natural smell…but not a bad one. There’s a certain scent men have once all the soap, perfumes, and laundry smells either faded away or have been taken away (especially that laundry one :howyoudoin: ), that just drives me wild thinking about it. Nuzzling into a guy’s neck and picking up that smell is like finding heaven.

-Being a freak of nature and all, but that little bit of chest hair peeking from the top of a shirt tends to make me to imagine what lies underneath. There’s plenty of evidence of my own thing for chest hair on this website without me needing to go into any further detail.

-Warm, kind of soft hands. Not so smooth they’d make a baby’s feel like sandpaper…those kinds make me want to drop them in a heartbeat… but hands that aren’t too rough and have a little bit of suppleness to them. Ones that have been worked, but are still taken care of, feel good around my own.

-A sense of humor…I know, I know…everyone says it, but if you can laugh at your own mistakes, you are someone I can trust with my own faults. It means you can handle failure, frustration, and the unexpected without getting all worked up about it. And in the hardest of times we will need your laughter.

-And finally, the one to separate the men from the…well, the other men: good singing. I know it’s not every guy but, I actually dumped a guy the night of being subjected to his horrendous vocalizations during karaoke (the straw that broke the camel’s back after several other infractions, mind you).
If you can carry a tune fairly well (I mean soulfully, not Backstreet Boys-ily), I’ll melt like putty…

Especially if it’s a certain forumosan’s rendition of Robbie William’s Angel. :wink:

ImaniOU, geat post. Thank’s for your honesty.

To summarise somewhat, and merge a tad, smell and a degree of humility are crucial, no?

I particularly liked the way you picked up on:

I agree so much - from my humble experience. The comfort factor I guess we can call it. And then smell, also a comforting thing, no?

Cheers!

As an aside I wonder about this smell thing, and I’d like the yank werewolf’s thoughts on this relative to say, talking through to orgasm. Without going into lurid detail, my girlfriend is overseas and I’m at home. She called just now and we nattered for ages, a three day “what ya been doin’/thinking” sort of call. She said she’d dreamed last night of us kissing - tell ya, I got that bit down pat! - then it got sort of phone sexy.

Phone sex is something I’ve never understood. Every now and then you read of some poor bastard running up oodles of loot an phone sex on a company line, or some such. I could never understand it. Why? How could that be even remotely interesting?

After the call I realised, yes I was excited but I know she was more so. For me, it was the smell that was missing. Completely. The comfort factor is there, the sense of hubris, an ability to laugh at your own and others foibles, et al. But damn, where was the smell?

On a head to toe basis, I like my GF’s every smell. Hair ready for a visit to the hairdresser, her neck, her armpits, her back, the periodic shifts in the smell of her loins (I like that word), her knees, feet, etc.

With this thread in mind, I was chatiing away and realised, or thought I did, that she could conjure my smells - she was commenting on the way I smell, fortunately favourably. I courldn’t do it.

So in a segue over to meiguo langren, when you talk of talking a person through to orgasm, you were sheepisjh on the male, and it seemed to me at least you thought it was easier for a woman - thus women’s brain’s are more able to ellcit a feeling of desire through words, perhaps because they can better conjure the smells and so on?

The smell of neck, hair . . . my GF is Thai with long hair, despte twice daily showerrs as most Thai’s do, hair, when it’s long, is washed much the way Taiwanese womaen do, ie, maybe three - four times a week, usually in a salon. Erh I digress . . again.

More broadly, smell supposedly is ine of the deeper memories, far more retained than sight, say. I spent the first five years of my life in Malaysia, and I swaer that’s why I will always live in Asia. When I’m not here, I miss the smells, they are sometimes overwhelming, but more importantly, comforting.

HG

[quote=“Huang Guang Chen”]
As an aside I wonder about this smell thing, and I’d like the yank werewolf’s thoughts on this relative to say, talking through to orgasm. . . . After the call I realised, yes I was excited but I know she was more so. For me, it was the smell that was missing. Completely. The comfort factor is there, the sense of hubris, an ability to laugh at your own and others foibles, et al. But damn, where was the smell?[/quote]

The smell thing is another example of an anchored or conditioned response. Some people - many - associate certain smells to certain events or people and these associations more likely than not have particular emotions attached. The romantic association to a lover’s smell or perfume or cologne or clean yet masculine or feminine smells is very common.

Knowing this in relationship to the “talking through an orgasm” thing is that when doing the directed visualization, your goal isn’t just simple talk or even guided daydreaming or the like, your goal is what is called an experiential imaginative experience or experiential focused trance. That is, within the imagined experience, your girlfriend or boyfriend not only is imagining the key points but imagining them AS IF they are REAL. To do this well, you want to use patter that engages as many of the associated senses as possible to make the experinece more vivid. So, through the way you say things and what you say, you would not just engage her aural senses but also her sense of touch, taste, sight, touch, and smell. If you already know what triggers the most powerful response, you use that as your primary patter and reference the rest, if not, then you engage everything. Of course, the easiest way to do this is to hypnotize her into somnambulism and then setup trigger responses for later, post-hypnotic suggestions, but you can accomplish the whole thing fairly straightforwardly and in a very romantic context just through the patter . . . as long as you are experientially engaging her imagination.

Then . . . for her to guide you into a hyper-responsive aroused state, it would be helpful for her to elicit your responses to those smells. The more successful phone-sex girls ask clients for their levels of response and then go in directions that heighten those responses while the more typical and mundane ones just read their scripts. Albeit, for many men - particularly the lonely ones who do run up large phone sex bills - just having a woman talk naughty to them is enough to achive arousal (many are aroused before they’ve even made the call) and their climax is based upon the imaginative experience and touching themselves which isn’t quite the same as the “no touch orgasm through talk” thing.

Of course, for consenting adults, touch is a good thing . . . appropriate touch with an appropriate partner in appropriate contexts is an extremely good thing and one shouldn’t pass up a chance to get some touching in . . . with one another . . . and the words are the whispered nothings gently and softly slipping into a loved one’s ear that we say to express our emotional connection which in turn heighten one another’s pleasure.

You couldn’t do it at that time in that context. I would guess there are indeed times where you can and do conjure up imaginative smells. However, some folks are better at it than others . . . it’s a function of visualization ability (visualization is usually used to describe a person’s ability to visualize or see things clearly and fully within their imaginations but it can also be used to describe imaginative engagement and how vivid the senses are brought into play while different senses may have different levels of aptitude or skill for purposeful revivification). Actors study what is called Sense Memory as a means to access sensory information and emotions. Imaginative involvement can be learned and practiced. For instance, here are some strightforward imaginative suggestibility games you can give a go and see which ones you respond best to http://briandavidphillips.typepad.com/brian/2004/02/suggestibility_.html (these work best with a friend to run the process).

I wouldn’t say I am sheepish on the male because they are less capable of this. Far from it . . . many men can respond very powerfully and do indeed have full orgasm and climax through this sort of thing. Here is an example for you . . . http://www.youtube.com/?v=Qx-iq2QPrvs . . . I am “sheepish” on the male in this respect in that other than when I’m teaching my workshops for folks to learn how to do this stuff, I don’t actually do it with a lot of guys . . . I have done demonstrations with guys and it has worked fine . . . but . . . for some reason, when it comes to personal experience, I have been more comfortable leading a woman to orgasm than a guy . . . note the differences and similarities . . . http://www.youtube.com/?v=IAKu-e5bzAM . . . hmmm, go figure.

I have noticed that in many relationships, when couples learn this stuff rather than singles . . . that within couples, while both partners will learn the skills, there is often a natural tendancy for one person to be the guide more often than not while the other partner will take on the position of trance partner more often. I’ve seen this in a number of couples who have taken seminars with me or discussed it on my email lists so it does seem to be typical (although some folks do trade off roles more often than others). As it is part of how they enhance their enjoyment of each other and the relationship, whatever works and feels right for you is the correct way to go.

However, a number of sources will tell you that when it comes to suggestibility, women tend to be more imaginatively open than men and higher intelligence tends to correspond to higher suggestibility (understand that suggestible is not the same as gullible. Of course, in my experience, some folks look at suggestibility scores or their performance on one trial tests and assume a nonresponsive result means they’ll never be able to do this stuff. Bull. Standard tests measure standard responses. Anyone can learn to engage their imaginations more fully and while one approach may not be appropriate for one person, another approach may very well be very effective. That’s also why the folks who do focused trance work need to learn a number of approaches. They may have their favorites (and I certainly do) but they also need to find ways to engage folks who don’t respond to their favorites. This is done in part through elicitation of response sets and using imaginative feedback loops to feed those sets back to one’s partner to create desirable imaginative response.

Sombunal . . . some but not all . . . some but not all women are highly imaginatively suggestible, some but not all women are not, some but not all men are highly imaginative responsive, some but not all men are not. Men and women tend to respond differently to visual or emotional cues. For many men, visual cues are all you need (cleavage, butt, a flash of skin). For many women, emotional cues are more important. However, when working with a particular man or woman, you need to personalize your approach and elicit from them the cues needed to engage the imagination most fully to create physical and emotional response patterns. That may sound complicated, but it isn’t . . . once you know the basic structures and approaches. This is not rocket science, it is romance (or, just sex).

Well, if this is the case . . . then your girlfriend might consider taking advantage of your tendancy to associate within smells as a way to engage your imagination and your responsiveness more fully.

From your description of her phone experience, it seems she may be a natural at imaginative responsiveness so that she could enjoy this sort of experience very fully from the get-go. Couldn’t say if she is a natural somnambule or not, but in any case it is a natural aptitude that can take one very far in many ways, not just the interesting ways we’ve been discussing here. Most successful entrepreneurs are highly suggestible but aconformist, for instance.

I hope this has been helpful.

All the best,
Brian

I find it really turns me on when a man sings for me.

a man who cooks is very sexy too…that makes me feel like jumping on him on the dinning table but I never do…too shy to do that :blush:

Anyway back on topic. Seems most people are talking about “what women are attracted to”. As opposed to what “turns them on” which I read as “makes them wet”.

In no particular order.

  1. Length doesn’t matter…some say :idunno: . But girth does. A penis going straight in and straight out isn’t going to give too much pleasure since most of the pleasure comes from the friction caused by the penis which pulls on the outer skin stimulating the clitoris.
    So if you don’t have an overly “fat” penis and still want to create the “pleasure friction” you need to angel it in. When the women is lying flat, try to angle it in at roughly a 45 degree angle downwards. You can do this by sliding up more…making yourself even more taller than the girl (assuming that you are)…which will “bend” it as it goes in…as your crotch should now be positioned higher than hers.

This does two things.
A) It creates more pull on the outside of the vagina giving more clitoral stimulation.
B) It helps your penis to come in contact with the uterus (I think it’s the uterus in there?) walls…which the women can feel…and they seem to enjoy.

  1. Related to the “B” above. When stimulating with your fingers use the “come here” motion. This can be done as if you are trying to tickle a few inches below their belly button from the inside. Or if they are lying on their front you can put your fingers in and up towards the ceiling…as if you were trying to massage their butt crack from the inside of the vagina/uterus.

  1. If attempting anal sex with a woman for the first time, the best time is when she’s asleep. :astonished: No, really. Most women enjoy it or want to try it, but get nervous and clench up their butt muscles which can cause a large amount of pain. So talk with your partner and ask if it’s ok to try, then when they’re sleeping use some lube and initiate…you will get past the “fear” stage and reach the “pleasure” stage before they are fully awake…hopefully. After the first time it will be easier for them to relax now that they’ve seen it can be done pleasurably, without pain.

  2. I personally think women enjoy being “entered” in as many ways as possible at the same time. No…leave your roommate out of this :unamused: . What I mean is something like tongue in ear, penis in vagina, and finger (or two) in anus. Save the triple penetration for a special time though…like nearing orgasm.

  3. Massaging…biting…hard grabbing during sex. I personally don’t like being scratched or bitten much…but women seem to like it more than men.

  4. Remember to moisten your fingers when using them, saliva is fine.

  5. Most women seem to prefer “doggy style”. This might have something to do with that style being less likely to have the boring straight-in straight-out penis action that is less arousing than angling it in.

8.When the woman is too tired…or beginning to pass out from dehydration/exhaustion… be a gentleman and fake an orgasm…then go to the bathroom to finish yourself off.

9.Lots of women like “wake up sex” (it begins while they’re asleep), but not all. Ask before doing. One girl told me “It’s the best way possible to wake up!” another said “It’s scary and confusing.”…but the later girl had been abused as a child…and I’m sure that was a factor.

  1. While deep inside a woman…and unable to use the shaft for clitoral stimulation due to it being completely submerged. Use the pelvic bone that’s an inch or so above the base of the penis shaft, and consciously rub it against them.

  2. With women having so many different spots that can give them orgasmic pleasure always try to focus on more than one at the same time.

  3. Remember not to over use your “best moves”…lest they become expected…or boring. For example…with missionary style penile sex… Best to stick with the afore mentioned Straight in and out boring style for about 50% of the time (during that time focusing on kissing…etc)…switching to 45 degree angle and deep penetration with bone stimulating the clitoral region intermittently.

  4. Although men prefer to hold themselves up with their arms and watch the action…I think women prefer the man be tight against them. But you can do both…just don’t forget to do the latter.

14.Fingers through hair…doesn’t do much for me, but gives some women the “shivers”.

That’s it for now.

[quote=“Mordeth”]This does two things.
A) It creates more pull on the outside of the vagina giving more clitoral stimulation.
B) It helps your penis to come in contact with the uterus (I think it’s the uterus in there?) walls…which the women can feel…and they seem to enjoy.[/quote]

As you can see by the illustration here, the cervix is the anatomical part that you’re talking about in your point B. It is the mouth of the uterus. And, if you hit it too much it is NOT comfortable.

Again, further illustration to give a visual to your lengthy and interesting observations about female pleasure.

Cheers,

Bodo

Thanks for that. I didn’t know what people meant by labia before either.

So the point I was trying to make with numbers 1.b and 2 is that you really need to use either your penis or your fingers to massage/ tickle the walls of the inside of the vagina and not just do straight in and out.

Labia means lips so think nether lips.

Thrusting technique is important, yes . . . albeit, one does not have to quest for the mystical and mysterious “deep thrust” of the Gorean novels (albeit, it does exist and the actual technique is a highly guarded secret, kept secret among the descendants of the Priest-Kings. Nor do you have to develop proficiency in the Venus Butterfly which is an uncomfortable position for one’s hands (well, my hands can comfortably perform the maneuver but it gets real tiring real fast and I find there are a LOT easier ways to get the effect that allow one to move around a bit more and intensify effects) besides which there are more effective ways to get much better effect, despite the slavering positive propaganda about it being near-mythical and extremely powerful sending all women into immediate and powerful ecstacy (ecstatic sensual frenzy can be achieved in other ways). Nor does one need to resort to the hidden power of the Shocker or similar odd behaviors which seem to be sliding around in popular urban legend for shock vale more than any practical or consensual sensuality enhancement value.

You know, you don’t have to thrust hard and deep all the time. Take the advice of the world’s greatest rock band, Tanacious D, and FHG once in awhile.

The point about length and girth may be taken by some as being absolute . . . and it is not. The size doesn’t matter thing is true. It is not the size, it is the motion. Folks who are well within normal size ranges will find that they can get all the friction or motion they need to please a woman, as long as they learn to engage the whole woman - which means emotionally as well as physically and as long as they learn a bit more than just wham-bam-thank-ya-maam.

Yes, there are sizequeens and the like, folks who yearn for the baseball bat up the privates, but for most women, there is a limit both to length and girth that they can comfortably accommodate. Despite what all the idiot penis enlargment spam spills forth, there is such a thing as too big or too fat or too long a penis. If a woman’s vagina is within normal parameters it will get the friction you describe with a normal sized penis. Even a woman who is so-called “loose in the nether lips” can accommodate here lover’s penis if it is smaller than what she is used to through kegel exercises and the like (which also do a nice job for bladder control and other issues) as she can tighten the muscles to create a more pleasing sexual sensation both for herself and her partner (it’s also more realistic for women to do kegel exercises to that purpose than it is to expect a man’s penis to suddenly double in girth - most of the adverts we get in email on that subject claiming to increase penis size are what can be described as bullshit and many of those techniques or pills have adverse side effects). Yes, the vagina is designed to have a human pass through it, but that doesn’t mean the wider the shaft the sweeter the loving as the experience of lovemaking is not the same as the experience of birthing a child. Some women do find large penises very uncomfortable. For some women, fisting can indeed be enjoyable but that too is a completely different context than lovemaking. If a man is within normal size parameters then he shouldn’t be too overly concerned about size but in technique. Those who are unusually small or large have to develop technique or other adaptation strategies to compensate (and it is not that difficult to learn pleasing strategies for your partner). Besides, always remember, foreplay is your friend FF friendly foreplay. Cunnilingus is a wonderful skill to learn as well.

Your patented anal sex technique intrigues me. Have you actually initiated anal sex with women while they were sleeping? My mind boggles. I would never consider initiated first time anal sex with a sleeping person . . . I had to read it again as it just conjures up so many images of girls passed out at frat parties being used for all sorts of things . . . I realize that you did state prior consent to the anal sex needs to be given but I’m not sure if the consent is specifically for the sleep penetration.

I agree that relaxation is key to comfortable penetration in that area but in such circumstances I’ve always advocated other relaxation techniques (I’m a hypnotist so relaxing different parts of the body is not an issue). I would suggest relaxing and comforting context and making certain it is something both partners wish to do (please, if performing penis to anus sex, never then switch entryways, the penis should always be cleaned after anal sex and should never never never be inserted directly into the vagina afterward - that goes for fingers or any other instruments of mutual pleasure . . . there are germs in one locale that do NOT belong in another and can cause some nasty infections or the like - e coli is NOT your friend). The anus is not designed for sexual play and so if one is having anal sex, be aware of the issues related to it and play safe. If the catcher is uncomfortable then the pitcher must back away. Easy does it and lots of appropriate lubrication. Saliva may be okay but some appropriate love lotion might be better (not vaseline).

As I’ve not come across the sleep sex advice when it comes to anal sex before, I am quite curious if this is something you have actually done with pleasing reaction from women - plural rather than singular - or this is your theory or something from a Hustler magazine somewhere.

All the best,
Brian

I was thinking more about what attracts women to men (one step at a time eh), but intrepret it as you see fit. I just started it to get a woman’s point of view, we already had a thread on the man’s point of view.

All of my “advice” was from experience rather than study.

The first time I ever attempted anal penetration was with my “first love” when we lived together…back when I was 18 or 19. We couldn’t get it to work. SHE suggested that I do it very early in the morning…or while she was still asleep…due to the fact that she was nervous and realized it was her lack of relaxation that was reason for failure.

And so I did…and all went well.

Then, why did you title the thread “turn on” rather than attraction? Very misleading, especially in the context of the other thread where it is evident the “turn on” refers to turn on rather than attraction.

Tsk tsk tsk, Fluffy.

Oh by the way, do I detect a small amount of discomfort with the frank discussion about the “how to” of sex? No need to feel that way. We’re all adults right?

Bodo