Fergot me wife's burthday

Apologies, Ms Icon. Post amended.

[quote=“zender”]

And while you’re waiting for one of the carts to roll by, surprise her with the mop!

(Note: Icon’s obviously playin’ fer the other team. No guy would tell ya to do a ton a housework!)

As for your struggles with scrotum and apartment cleaning, a Helpful Hint from Heloise was to do BOTH at the same time . . . Have you ever seen a dog rubbing its butt on the floor? That could be you![/quote]
Oh, Mr Zender! I hereby confer on you:
JIMI’S CLASSIC POST AWARD '09! :flowers:

Just don’t let her catch you cleaning the fridge.

[quote=“Buttercup”]

Just don’t let her catch you cleaning the fridge.[/quote]
Fridges need cleaning? I was under the impression that they bore little beer babies in a state of nature.

[quote=“jimipresley”][quote=“Buttercup”]

Just don’t let her catch you cleaning the fridge.[/quote]
Fridges need cleaning? I was under the impression that they bore little beer babies in a state of nature.[/quote]

I have heard it said. I don’t do it myself.

When my wife tells me to clean out the fridge, I thought it meant, “eat everything!”

My dear friends, you have been most helpful and insightful as regards my predicament. However, I see that we have strayed slightly off-topic.
To return: What can I do to atone that doesn’t require spending money or standing up?

[quote=“jimipresley”]My dear friends, you have been most helpful and insightful as regards my predicament. However, I see that we have strayed slightly off-topic.
To return: What can I do to atone that doesn’t require spending money or standing up?[/quote]

Hmm, is she likely to be dazzled by your mind, or mollified by your sweet nature, do you think?

Treat her like it’s her birthday every day and she won’t expect a special effort. I know, I’m just an old romantic.

Or, just buy summin nice online, then blame the slow interwebs for not sending it yet.

figleaves.com

[quote=“Buttercup”] . . . Or, just buy summin nice online, then blame the slow interwebs for not sending it yet.

figleaves.com[/quote]

YES!

OR

Just SAY you bought somethin nice online, then keep blaming everyone for it never arriving until she forgets the whole thing.

Quickly write a love poem or song and tell her you didn’t forget, it just took more time to finish it and make it special. You thought a gift straight from the heart, but a few days late, would be better than some stinking piece of jewelry. As long as you incorporate some beautiful packaging and presentation, and maybe a special moment from the past you 2 shared, you are off the hook. And for only a few bucks :wink:

Have you ever actually done that? She’ll see through it in a heartbeat unless she is retarded. :laughing:

Just confess and apologise. Don’t compound it by lying and cheesing around.

Have you ever actually done that? Pure shit! :laughing:[/quote]
'Arf a mo there, Ms BC. Mr/Ms whitetiger has a point. I have a guitar, an immense amount of unrealised talent, and a bad back. I can do some chocolate box songwriting that seems heartfelt and I won’t even have to stand up!

[quote]
Have you ever actually done that? She’ll see through it in a heartbeat unless she is retarded. :laughing:

Just confess and apologise. Don’t confound it by lying and cheesing around.[/quote]

Well he still needs a gift Bcup. May as well be something with thought put into it and a personal touch. Have I done this? I’ve done the part with the poem, but on time. I never forget bdays.

A guy wrote a song for me, back when. It was an instrumental. I dunno. So? Everyday stuff is more important. I don’t really like gifts because I buy myself whatever I like, so unless it’s something seriously cool like a house or a helicopter, it’s just more pointless junk to dump when I move city.

Everyday kewlniss more important. But if you haven’t been kewl, get her a new bag. And for pity’s sake, let her choose it.

You mean, “Whatever you do, DON’T let her choose it.”

What if she picks out an expensive one?! :doh:

Then you’re screwed! :loco:

You’ve got a guitar, a voice, and Youtube access.

Start practicing “You’re Something Special to Me” by the Shaggs. You should be able to play it as well as The Shaggs before you offer it to your lovely wife. (Reserve at most 15 minutes of practice).

Tell your wife that YOU wrote it for HER.

Try to keep a straight face, and if you can tear up a bit, so much the better.

youtube.com/watch?v=ATM12Cogw24

If your girlfriend is over 25, anything you choose is going to be cheaper and less stylish than what she’d buy for herself out of her own salary. So she’ll be disappointed. You either have to buy something really nice, or do the ‘cute and thoughtful’ thing. It’s a pretty stark choice for most men.

Also, if she’s over 25, she will be singularly unimpressed with guitar boys.

Early in a relationship, I usually just say something like ‘I’m really too lazy and selfish to buy gifts for other people, and if you buy me something, I’ll probably just stick it in a drawer and never look at it/use it, so shall we just skip all that shit and spend our time and money on having fun instead?’ I started to see my boy near birthdays and christmas and he pre-empted me. :lovestruck: he’s not mean and selfish, though; he treats me like a princess. Which is great, because so do I.

[quote=“Buttercup”]If your girlfriend is over 25, anything you choose is going to be cheaper and less stylish than what she’d buy for herself out of her own salary. So she’ll be disappointed. You either have to buy something really nice, or do the ‘cute and thoughtful’ thing. It’s a pretty stark choice for most men.

Also, if she’s over 25, she will be singularly unimpressed with guitar boys.

Early in a relationship, I usually just say something like ‘I’m really too lazy and selfish to buy gifts for other people, and if you buy me something, I’ll probably just stick it in a drawer and never look at it/use it, so shall we just skip all that shit and spend our time and money on having fun instead?’ I started to see my boy near birthdays and christmas and he pre-empted me. :lovestruck: he’s not mean and selfish, though; he treats me like a princess. Which is great, because so do I.[/quote]
They have teddybears at eslit bookstore, I know that my girlfriend loves them and yes it is MR Lappy :sunglasses:

No-one could replace Fluffybear in my affections (no, not the poster); I’ve fallen asleep with him in my arms for 30 years, now.

I’ve heard there are grown women that would not alert the authorities when given a teddy bear as a gift.

Seriously, a teddy bear? Really? That’s creepy!

Christ, how did you pull that off, (the forgetting). Aren’t there a millions kinds of calendars you can program with reminders going forward until Kingdom Come?

Don’t BS. You forgot. Not great, but also not the worst sin in the world. Don’t by jewelry, it will be stained forever by the brush of, “you bought it because you forgot”.

Something real, something simple. A sincere apology is a good place to start… :slight_smile:

You just have to find a way to tell her that her timeless beauty has taken away all concepts of the temporal world. With her being lovelier than when you first met, you had assumed that time had ceased its eternal march and retreated in shame due to the radiant splendor of Venus in flesh. Too bad you’re not posting like Shakespeare yet.