Financial Values

Life Dating & Relationships
1

A few quick questions to gauge everyone’s opinion on how finances should be split in a relationship. Please answer based on whether you’re a guy or a girl and perhaps providing a little reasoning as to why.

Suppose a husband and wife both earn 50,000 NT a month for a combined family income of 100,000 NT a month. If the family expenses are 40,000 NT per month, how should this money be paid?

A. Husband pays for all of it since he can afford to
B. Wife pays for all of it since she can afford to
C. Both husband and wife split the bill with the exact ratio being unspecified

Now suppose the family expenses are 70,000 NT a month. How should this bill be paid?

A. Husband pays for 50,000 NT because that’s the most he has and then the wife pays for the remaining 20,000 NT
B. Wife pays for 50,000 NT because that’s the most she has and then the husband pays for the remaining 20,000 NT
C. Both husband and wife split the bill with the exact ratio being unspecified
D. Make lifestyle changes so that the family expenses can fit within the husband’s salary and have the husband pay for it all

For me, as a guy, I would prefer that my wife shares the financial responsibility with me. It doesn’t necessarily have to be 50/50. I am perfectly fine with paying more, especially if she makes less than me. And I definitely won’t expect to her to pay more if she makes more than I do. Or, if she doesn’t want to work at all, then I can shoulder all the financial responsibility while she contributes more on the domestic front. Either way, I feel that both partners have an obligation to share the households responsibilities.

The reason why I ask is because the vast majority of girls I’ve dated will split the financial responsibility with me. However, there seems to be a group of girls here who believe that the man must pay for everything even if the girl makes her own money. Basically the girl’s money is her money while the guy’s money is everyone’s money. These girls feel that they’re being supportive by willing to scrimp and pinch to fit the family’s budget within the husband’s salary or they’ll help out once the husband is tapped dry but they are not okay with sharing the financial responsibility otherwise.

Now the better bunch of these girls will put themselves in a housewife role and I will think that’s perfectly fair. Traditional gender roles aren’t my preference but I can respect the dynamic. However, it seems that a good portion of girls who insist that the man pay for everything will also expect the man to take care of them on the domestic front. Their mentality seems to be that the guy should work til he drops to take care of her in all areas. And it’s not only the girls who believe this. It seems that a number of guys here do as well. Or at least the ones that I’ve been running into lately.

I’ve been having heated arguments regarding this topic in the past month and I’m really mind-boggled by how certain girls (and guys) can think this way. So I’m just trying to get more opinions from people here on this matter. Maybe there’s some different school of thought that I’ve never encountered before, or maybe my world has always been restricted to people who believe in equal responsibility. Who knows. But I would definitely like to see what everyone thinks about this. Thanks in advance.

1 Like
3

Isn’t this something you would be discussing with a potential partner?

4

Why does it bother you so much what other people think? This should only matter between you and your spouse. Who cares how others use their money.

5 Likes
5

I suppose it just baffles me how certain people can think this way.

6

As long as others don’t attempt to impose their financial values on you, you should be good, no?

1 Like
7

You gotta find someone who is somewhat on the same page.
I mean it is part of the culture for a guy to be a ‘big man’ and pay for everything, while controlling everything. Lots of girls here are also told all their life to find a guy to rely on, so it is what it is.

3 Likes
8

That’s a weird way of saying it, because you are able to explain the situation, which suggests that you clearly have encountered it. Short answer is that, yes, there are different schools of thought in different cultures. You might need to accept that to some degree; there are some things that no manner of banging your head against the wall about will change. People who can’t work their heads around that tend to miss out on what a different culture has to offer. That’s not saying you have to accept it in your partner or personal life, but I note that you don’t seem to be asking for that kind of advice anyway.

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9

Enough girls around to pass on the ones who do not fit your values. And even if there were not enough around, you can only adapt to a certain extent before things will just become too painful for you

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10

Values do not equal culture.

There are cultural values that are common in Taiwanese culture but doesn’t include everyone. Just like you will find a$$holes in any culture. And the man paying for everything is not a culture value of Taiwanese culture. Whoever tells you differently they are either lying or have enough money to pay for everything regardless of culture.

You try to adapt to some cultural values to “fit into the culture and society” but when choosing a life partner, choose values that match yours and you are willing to accept.

3 Likes
11

In your example both have the same salary, both should pay half of rent and other general expenses. No brainer really.

12

if you are married it’s no longer about “your money or my money”. it becomes “our money”, a married couple is the same financial unit.

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13

True, though even that I am told depends on the couple at least in the West

14

Will random strangers’ opinions change the mind of your significant other? :thinking:

15

I’m a guy, and because I have a penis.

1 Like
16

Not always in Taiwan,especially when you are dealing with rich people.

17

My wife’s money isn’t my money, and my money isn’t her money. We keep it completely separate.

I do pay for 80-90% of everything, but that’s my choice.

18

My GF wouldn’t worry about who paid what and I don’t do either. But she would point out that you are running a 60K monthly surplus and one of you need to spend more money.

19

For us there is no “you pay or me pay” because we are both working together for a common goal. We don’t split hairs over every expense.

It’s something that just happened as the relationship progressed.

20

Good! And you should not, unless there is a gross imbalance which you as one partner in the partnership would consider unfair which is not the case for you anyway

21

for us the same.

it seems that a good portion of boys who insist that the woman take care for everything on the domestic front will also expect the woman to split the bill half.