There are cutesy sayings like “you only get one chance to make a first impression” and all that, but really how important is it?
Personally, I believe in second impressions. I think the first time you meet someone in business or personal life doesn’t really count, and it is what you do about the second encounter that really makes a difference.
When I think about some of the closest people in my life of the years, the first impression of had of them was generally pretty average at best, or even a bit negative…but we went on to become great mates or colleagues or whatever.
I know I rarely give a good first impression, so I assume it is the same for many people. In fact many people say “you turned out to be quite different to who I thought you were”
[quote=“Ironman”][quote=“truant”]How important are first impressions?
I know I rarely give a good first impression, [/quote]
Do you think it could be your head? The pointy bits.[/quote]
Ha, well, it is interesting you say that.
I was talking about real-life encounters, but online forums really put a whole new sway on that because some people are just so funny and nice online, but are quite the opposite in real life…and some people that come across as real assholes actually turn out to be super nice people in real life.
Other people are WYSIWYG.
[quote=“truant”][quote=“Ironman”][quote=“truant”]How important are first impressions?
I know I rarely give a good first impression, [/quote]
Do you think it could be your head? The pointy bits.[/quote]
Ha, well, it is interesting you say that.
I was talking about real-life encounters, but online forums really put a whole new sway on that because some people are just so funny and nice online, but are quite the opposite in real life…and some people that come across as real assholes actually turn out to be super nice people in real life.
Other people are WYSIWYG.[/quote]
I think you may have something with your Second Impressions theory, truant.
First of all, it makes a certain amount sense to me. The first time I meet people I’m just trying to remember their name, and going through all the boring ‘So are you married?’ ‘How long have you been here?’ type questions. The second time I see those people we will have gotten many of those polite intro conversations out of the way, and there is often potential for a more unique discussion where you might get more insights into what the person is like.
The second reason I think you have a winner here is that I haven’t seen anybody else pushing this theory. Almost all the self-help book/motivational speaker/“How to act false and annoy people” types seem to take the primacy of the first impression as a given. You could corner your own little section of the market with this one…
[quote=“Hobbes”]The second reason I think you have a winner here is that I haven’t seen anybody else pushing this theory. Almost all the self-help book/motivational speaker/“How to act false and annoy people” types seem to take the primacy of the first impression as a given. You could corner your own little section of the market with this one…[/quote]Haha…
I like Truant’s idea a lot, and I’d extend it to say that we should keep an open mind about people during second, third and many subsequent impressions. But I don’t think it would make a good self-help book. The reason is that it doesn’t chime with our obsession with instant, easy results that reinforce our rigid views of the world. Truant’s idea requires patience and some degree of tolerance. Many people these days don’t have time for that…
I always treat people nice when I first meet them. They stay civil and polite I will too. Cross that line and I have no problem insulting them to the point where they will never talk to me again. I enjoy meeting people, having conversations that extend beyond the weather, where I am from and how good my Chinese is, but if we don’t hit it off right away or soon after I’m not going to try and waste the time me and another person have.
I have enough voices and ghosts in my head to keep me company as it is so all is good!
Peace
Personally I think a lot has to do with the strength of the first impression. Some people just come off as complete and utter bastards on first meeting, meaning you’d chew your own arm off rather than risk a second. Alternatively some people come off so great on the first meeting that no matter how many more times you see them, they’ll stay excellent. It’s all us poor bastards in the middle that have to worry about the second impression.
I’m thinking back to Ironman’s Carnegie’s birthday party.
I met several people there for the first time (Hobbes, Tash, Notsu, Bobepine), and a couple for the second (Ironman, Miltownkid), and Truant for the third time.
It’s odd, as I “know” them all from this site, so it was easy for me to fall right into the thick of things and be myself. It may have something to do with the fact that I pretty much speak the same way I post…quickly and without much thought of reprecussions…NO! Uhm…what I mean is I find posters interesting, and I find people interesting too. I like first impressions because I like meeting new people…I like picking their brains. Posters don’t always leave impressions. I’ve met a few people from Forumosa in real life and had no idea who they were online, even after they said, “Dude, we were in the same thread last night!”
First impressions are great, one way or the other because there’s a wonderful mystery or How is this gonna turn out?
Anyway, Truant bought me a beer the first time I met him…that was nice, and he left me with a great first, second and third impression…as did everyone at Carnegies
Tetsuo, who I’ve met only once, left a very memorable impression…a vicelike handshake…and then he called me a pussy when I mentioned it online…what a guy!
[quote=“jdsmith”]I’m thinking back to Ironman’s Carnegie’s birthday party.
I met several people there for the first time (Hobbes, Tash, Notsu, Bobepine), and a couple for the second (Ironman, Miltownkid), and Truant for the third time.
[/quote]
We had met before, jdsmith. I guess I’m not as memorable as I thought
yes indeed. That is the exception to the rule. IF you get one shot at it, then make the second impression come during the first. Kinda like having multi-impressions.
yes indeed. That is the exception to the rule. IF you get one shot at it, then make the second impression come during the first. Kinda like having multi-impressions.[/quote]
I know what you mean, but you’re kinda getting complicated for a first impression…
yes indeed. That is the exception to the rule. IF you get one shot at it, then make the second impression come during the first. Kinda like having multi-impressions.[/quote]
I know what you mean, but you’re kinda getting complicated for a first impression… [/quote]
Well, if I wanna have a book, website, private jet and moon landing based on the Second Impression concept…I have got to come up with the “7 point plan to becoming the international man of mystery” (working title only)
I have twice (this time being the second) thought within 10 minutes of meeting someone that I would love them.
Both times I have been right. So, yeah. I think first impressions can take you far.
BUT. Almost no one I know likes me at first. I am not a very social person. But I don’t know anyone who has spoken to me more than 4 times (and not lived with me) who dislikes me. So that proves that first impressions are not concrete.
I also severely disliked my best friend the first time i met her…
Uhm…what I mean is I find posters interesting, and I find people interesting too. I like first impressions because I like meeting new people…I like picking their brains. Posters don’t always leave impressions. I’ve met a few people from Forumosa in real life and had no idea who they were online, even after they said, “Dude, we were in the same thread last night!” 
