In honor of Forumosa
My first kiss was also when I was 6. The boy had brown curly hair. All the girls used to scream and run from him because he was Jason the Kissing Bandit. But I remember once I did not to run and just let him kiss me and see what would happen. So he did. After the kiss I waited and waited…no cooties, no germs, no dying screams. That’s when I realized Jason wasn’t so bad at all, he just liked to kiss girls. And I liked to be kissed by him.
The first time a woman punched me in the face was in January 1984. Caught me off guard too and I had my Yamaha classical guitar in my hand and stumbled backwards and knocked a ding in the neck. That really pissed me off.
Guess what happened next?
[quote=“wolf_reinhold”]The first time a woman punched me in the face was in January 1984. Caught me off guard too and I had my Yamaha classical guitar in my hand and stumbled backwards and knocked a ding in the neck. That really pissed me off.
Guess what happened next?[/quote]
Ah, finally we are to get the true story of why Wolf fled his homeland for Taiwan!
Well, I don’t recall my first kiss… Must have been 6-7 years of age…
But I had my first (youknowwhat) when I was 17 on a sofa in a friends apartment. As the apartment was his, he used the bedroom with her friend.
Well, I don’t remember my first kiss, although I’ve got a pretty good idea roughly when it was, but I do recall with stunning clarity (considering my extremely alcoholified state at the time) my first “slap on the face followed by confrontation with angry boyfriend” moment. 'bout 18, in the pub sloshed to my generously proportioned mantits, pushing through the crowd, Roman Hands kicked in thanks to the last shot of tequila, big squeeze on random girls arse, high velocity palm-face interaction, followed by six-foot tall (ish) angry boyfriend yelling at me to get the fuck away from his girlfriend. Thankfully 1) I was too drunk to care, 2) the crowd was too thick for him to really have a go at me, and 3) I was standing right beside a mate of mine who’s about 6 foot 5 and built like a brick shithouse.
My first kiss was moments after my birth from my mother. You guys are weird.
[quote=“bababa”][quote=“wolf_reinhold”]The first time a woman punched me in the face was in January 1984. Caught me off guard too and I had my Yamaha classical guitar in my hand and stumbled backwards and knocked a ding in the neck. That really pissed me off.
Guess what happened next?[/quote]
Ah, finally we are to get the true story of why Wolf fled his homeland for Taiwan![/quote]
Casablanca’s Captain Louis Renault said:
I got my first STD at 15.
My first real kiss was during a truth or dare game when I was 13 and the guy laughed at me in the middle of it.
Now, my first all out strip poker game with five players everywhere on the sexual orientation continuum was…er…you’ll have to wait for my memoirs to hear about it…
I can’t remember my first kiss, but I do have fond, warm memories of the first time I masturbated. Ah, those were the days… wait, those still are the days.
My first kiss, at seven years old in the middle of the playground with the eagerly receptive flame-haired Dorothy “Dotty” Turner, ended abruptly when the aptly named spinster-teacher Miss Sharpe, who had seen it all through a classroom window, came storming out, confronted me with snorting indignation, pulled up the leg of my shorts, and smacked me hard several times on the back of the thigh.
As I am sure it is with most everyone, my “first time” was something I will never forget.
I was strapping young lad of seventeen, full of ambition, full of confidence and most importantly full of passion.
She was a lovely young doll with the bluest eyes I have ever seen, shoulder length blonde hair, ruby red lips, and a figure an hour glass would be jealous of.
I had seen a few time at the neighbourhood mall. She was always surrounded by friends and other guys; I could tell by watching her from afar that she was something special. However, I was never able to approach, I could only give her my best “sexy eyes”, which I think once were even returned.
It wasn’t until a fateful Saturday afternoon after a hard day of pumping gas that I saw her; all alone. I stopped dead in my tracks, mustered up some courage and approached her with the stealth and determination of a lion stalking a gazelle.
“Hi, I’m Canucklehead.”, I stammered.
“Hi, I’m Barbara.”, was her heavenly reply.
I asked her if she would like to come over to my house to watch a movie. And that is where things really picked up.
All alone in my room while watching “Varsity Blues”, I began to softly blow into her ear. This really seemed to get her motor running. I gently ran my hand through her golden locks, while she delicately un-zipped my Levi’s. It wasn’t long before we were both naked and things started to get pretty wild. She was like no girl I had ever been with before. She knew exactly what I wanted and didn’t moan and complain when I couldn’t get her bra strap undone. It was truly magical.
Then she asked, " Do you wanna have sex?".
To which I replied in true Casanova style, “OK!”
The rest is history.
We continued to have many “movie nights”.
However, all good things come to an end. I regretfully had to pull the plug on our relationship.
My mother was to blame. One day while vacuuming my room she went to vacuum underneath my bed, where lo and behold Barbara was hiding.
“What the hell is under your bed, Canucklehead?”.
Upon a closer inspection as to what was under my bed, I could see her face cringe in disgust and disappointment.
" Jesus Christ, is that a blow-up doll?"
“It is! You get rid of that plastic perversion right now!!”
Red faced and throughly humiliated, I cried, “Her name is Barbara!!!”
I have yet to a women as special as my Barbara, and I think I never will
I can remember this one…as it coincided with the first time I saw a TV.
The first time we had a TV in the house after the WWII, I was staring intently into the TV wondering what it could do for me when suddenly…“Smacked”…my first kiss was stolen from me by someone as mini as I was then…
Till today, I could not figure out what was the attraction about…no tits, no boobs…
I first had sex in a swimming pool in 1977. I mean “in” the pool, not by it.
Just so we’re clear, Wolf, we’re talking about sex with another person here, so your “first” doesn’t count.
[quote=“sandman”]I got my first STD at 15.[/quote]Does Sheena Easton know ?
I will post my first here, as soon as I have it.
I remember the connecting drool string after pulling away from my first open mouthed kiss. I swatted it away with my hand and tried to pretend it didn’t happen.
Hahahahahahhahahah, LOL. This is good stuff. This is the funniest thread I’ve read on Forumosa yet. Thanks everybody. Damn I have too much time on my hands while I’m waiting for law school to start :s
Just so we’re clear, Wolf, we’re talking about sex with another person here, so your “first” doesn’t count.[/quote]
Maybe he meant “fist”?